By Dick Cheney

Twas the night before inauguration, when all though the white-house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a neo-con louse
The prisoners were hanging in Gitmo, by their hair,
In the hopes that some Court, soon would be there.

My minions were nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of beating libs, danced in their heads.
And Mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a loud bell,
I got up from my bed and screamed “What the Hell!”
Away to the window I limped with a sneer
I promised the culprit would not persevere!

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of a bomb blast to objects below.
When, what to my beady eyes should appear,
But a miniature hybrid, and eight left leaning queers.

With a tall lanky driver, so dark and so firm in belief,
I knew from his color he must he must be a thief.
More rapid than poor people his coursers they came,
And he laughed and he shouted and called them by name!

Now Dashcle! now, Holder, now Shinseki and Clinton!
On Janet, on Rice, on Rahm and Joe Biden!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Now to save the country from this neo-con pall.

And then like a nightmare, I heard on the roof
The dancing and singing and yelling “woof, woof”
I drew in my head and looked for my gun,
But into the room he’d already come.

He was dressed rather smartly no doubt from his crimes
(they like to blame me for the current bad times).
A bundle of court documents he had on his back,
And he looked like a Constitutionalist when he opened his pack.

He was lean and athletic, not at all like an elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread!

He spoke not a word, but went right to work,
And pulled out a court order and called me a “jerk”.
And glaring his eyes, as best as that he could,
He said that soon I’d be locked up for good.

Then he sprang to his hybrid, to his team gave a whistle,
and off they all drove, with a wave of dismissal.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“We’ll take back this country, with all of our might”.