It started just before the inauguration of Barack Obama. The people of Illinois were the first to notice, but really, what can you say? It’s just too bizarre to contemplate.

On Dec. 9 of last year, the Governor, Rod Blagojevich was arrested at his North Side home on federal corruption charges that included plotting to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President Barack Obama. Blagojevich immediately proclaimed his innocence. And this, many believe, is when it started.

Sure, there was the hair. That grand swell of well-coiffed jet black hair that would occasionally catch a puff of wind and billow like a plush black shag rug, strands glistening in the sun, as he stood outside his home in his black Puma jump suit. With that head of hair, it was hard to notice the change right away.

The governor would stand stoically before the press and blather away about the injustice of it all; comparing himself to Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Nelson Mandela at every available opportunity.

The rumors and whispers started in Chicago. “Is his head getting….. bigger?” “Sure”, some would reply, “He has a big fucking ego”. “No really… it looks, well, bigger”.

Blago virtually assaulted the airwaves to plead his case, where he read Tennyson poems, completely missing the point of Ulysses; he quoted Dr. King; and at one point compared his struggles and the injustice therein to that of civil rights fighters.

"I know the fix is in and I will soon join the unfortunate people in this country who are losing their jobs," he said. And some of the cameramen and a few producers finally saw it. The head, full of wavy Elvis-like hair, grew, right in front of them.

With each interview the head of Rod Blagojevich was growing larger. By the time he appeared on Larry King, it was quite noticeable and a wide-angle lens had to be applied so that his head could fit onto the whole screen.

Many were skeptical but others were worried. One media journalist intern on CNN had gone missing that very night and was last seen trying to corner Blago with a handheld camera.

When he finally appeared on Hardball, it was impossible to ignore and Chris Matthews had to address it:

Matthews: So what’s the deal with your, um, is this some sort of ‘condition’ that you have? Your head is, well, swollen?

Blago: I'm not looking for any pity and I don't need anybody to sympathize or feel bad for me, because I'll be just fine. I follow in the footsteps of those that help the poor and down-trodden…

Matthews: No, really, what’s going on…? It looks as if its separate from your body…..

Blago: ….like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King and Rudolf Hess…..

Matthews: HESS? Did you just say Rudolf Hess? Are you comparing yourself to the mastermind of Nazi eugenics? What are you talking about? We will dig into this as soon as we get back…

They never came back from the commercials. Instead MSNBC aired a paid programming infomercial on a Yogilates™ training, a combination of Yoga and Pilates, DVD and Yogilates™ mat for two payments of $29.95.

While people at MSNBC quietly began a search party for Matthews and the Hardball staff and crew, Blago went on to appear on Good Morning America.

This is when the horror began, and on live TV no less. The bulbous head floated into the studio. It was several times larger than the body, which trailed behind in an ill-fitting suit, the black Italian leather shoes never touching the floor.

Blago’s head never waited for the first question from Diane Sawyer, merely began to float towards to her and spoke as if already in mid interview: “…but they won’t let me bring witnesses, people like Rahm Emmanuel and Saint Peter who can speak on my behalf…”

The head, with its large mouth and sharp, but ever so white, teeth, grabbed a perky production assistant and swallowed her whole, leaving only her clipboard to fall to the ground.

All hell broke loose and people began to run, screaming from the NY city studio, shoving each other in the fight to exit. People on the street, who had up until then stood excitedly at the windows looking into the Studio and gawking at Chris Cuomo and waving at the camera's while talking on the cell phone, now look pale and frozen with fear, unsure what to believe.

One woman, a contest winner for best Mac ‘n Cheese, stood eagerly awaiting to meet Emeril, but was trampled by the panicked masses trying to escape the ravenous head. The blood spilling from her flattened, beaten body mixed with the soft fluffy cheese from her recipe, which she had been holding in her arms (her secret had been to add extra heavy cream) causing the floor of the studio to become a slippery ocean of blood, guts, cheese. The more people clamored to escape the more they slipped and fell in the blood and cheese and limp noodles, taking other innocents down with them.

The head continued its path of destruction.

“….I will not stop fighting. Did Nelson Mandela quit? Did Genghis Khan quit? They hate me because I help those that need help, the infirm and the mentally retarded, those dying from cancer. They are out to get me….

The giant Blago head ate the head of a cameraman, leaving the body to writhe on the floor in uncontrollable jerks. A woman screamed so loud that the microphones picked it up and broadcast the horror over Times Square, then she fainted.

Diane Sawyer was frozen. People ran past her, and someone ran into the table set up for the cooking segment with Emeril, tripping over a cord and starting a small fire, which quickly grew large. Smoke began to fill the studio, but Ms Sawyer could not take her eyes off the carnage.

The Blago head slowly turned and saw her. With one eye bigger than the other, the head looked at her with sleepy lust filled desire. He floated towards her, “…..to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

The head whispered something in her ear, then picked up Diane Sawyer by the torso and begins chewing, entrails flowing down his chin and onto his shiny Italian shoes. Diane suddenly becomes aware, but it’s too late, her cries are muffled by the sound of the Blago head crunching her bones and by the gurgle of her blood spewing from severed arteries.

The head’s small impotent hand pokes some of the entrails and the empty chest cavity and smears Diane Sawyers blood on his face, careful not to muss his hair, all while reciting Rudyard Kipling, ….”if you can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting to….”

The head abruptly stops and looks down at the bloody mass that was once ABC’s most important interviewer and then speaks slowly, “I’m sorry, I have to go now, the ladies of The View are waiting”.