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Decisions,Decisions.
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 04/11/2010 14:24:20

There comes a point in ones life where you must decide your political affiliation and stick with it until you move out of your parents home and have no more need to aggravate them, at which time you can switch your party to the same as theirs.

Obviously, to annoy your parents you will pick the opposite party that they affiliate with. Of course, this can get difficult when your parents are divorced, of different parties, and you live on/off with each. It may involve an entirely diverse selection of clothes, books, habits and even a different grade point average for each parent. At all costs, one should avoid this situation.

But which party is right for you?

There are two parties, the Democratic Party and the Republican Party. There are some slightly different levels of each party that some may call "movements" like the Tea Party, or others that claim to be actual political parties with actual ideologies and platforms and once in a while some joker will even put them onto a ballot. Examples of these are the Communist Party and the Libertarian Party.

So, which one have you decided on? Lets see if I can help.

Do you believe in some gun control, or, do you think that our 2nd Amendment gives every yahoo, retard, redneck, gangster or Hitler youth the right to carry a firearm into a bar, airport, school, church, office building or Victoria's Secret?

Do you think it's important to help people, or a group of people in need, even if it may mean giving up some of your own wealth in order to do so? For example, would you be willing to give up about 8% of your paycheck to help update your public transit to accommodate the handicapped?

Speaking of public transit, are you in favor of it?

Do you think that a woman should be able to decided the fate of her own body, or, should a doctor and/or government representative make that decision for her?

How good is your spelling and grammar?

Do you feel that American workers should be paid well enough that they can live on one paycheck? Do you think they should have a say in how their workplace handles things like safety?

Do you like lesbian themed bondage clubs? If you do - and really, who doesn't - would you be horrified it it got out in the press and deny, deny, deny? Or, would you just shrug your shoulders and move on.

Do you think that a country of diverse people and cultures should embrace it's diversity, or, are you in favor of celebrating only those things and events which white Europeans had a hand in?

Should gays be able to serve openly in the military, or should they stay in the closet and only come out to decorate your foyer or style your wife's hair?

Can people believe in the God that they choose, or should they be coerced, starting at a young age by praying in school, into believing in the same God?

These are only a few of the many questions that one should consider before making this hard decision. However, if your answer is 'NO' 9 tenths of the time, you are already a Republican. Sorry 'bout that.

 

4 comments (Latest Comment: 04/12/2010 13:04:54 by AuntAzalea)
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