What a splendid idea – Michael Steele, one of 6 African American men that belong to the Grand Old Party, and who was recently given the formidable challenge of leading the RNC and rebuilding their image has graced us with this spectacular plan: marketing the Republican agenda to appeal to minorities and youngsters by mixing the swell policies of small government, less corporate oversight and tax breaks for the rich, with Hip Hop culture. He recently said the RNC needs an “off the hook” makeover to attract those urban and suburban kids. Oh, if only 2Pac were alive, I’m sure he’d lend a hand to this cause. As it is, he’ll have to settle for either older gangsta rappers like Ice-T and Snoop-Dogg, the latter who’s busy with a reality TV series, or, the new “posers” like lil Wayne and he of the current domestic violence crisis, Chris Brown. (Seriously, Velveeta has no Earthly idea who any of these people are, she had to rely on her people to gather this information for her).

Mr. Steele, feels certain that using language like “off the hook” and, I’m not kidding, “bling-bling” is going to get the kids to swag their 501’s below the butt, light a big-assed spliff and have them rappin’ “Yo, my N*ggaz, we got to repeal the Alternative Minimum Tax”. Even I know that the word “bling” went the way of Vanilla Ice. Word.

Here, is a bit more of what the Notorious G.O.P said, “It will be avant garde, technically. It will come to table with things that will surprise everyone - off the hook.”

Does that mean cutting-edge?

“I don’t do ‘cutting-edge,’ “ he said. “That’s what Democrats are doing. We’re going beyond cutting-edge.”

Goody, yet another phrase in our artistic/cultural vernacular to describe “trendy”. Can’t wait to hear what it’ll be.

Oh hell’s bells. This is so stunning that is has surpassed surreal. Let’s put this in perspective shall we? A political party that’s core believe is “pull yourself up by your boot-straps”, no tax monies towards social engineering projects like Head Start, anti Affirmative Action and a woman’s right to choose and is a firm believer in hard time for petty crime, wants to unite with a culture that was founded by inner city Americans who needed an outlet and a voice to escape the oppression, the racist attitudes and the “me, me, me” society that the current Republican party perpetuated!

I will be giddy with excitement when I hear that the RNC has raised enough money to convince John Singleton to make a movie to further their “off the hook” cause; perhaps a sequel to “Boyz ‘N the Hood” wherein Ice Cube – reprising his role as Doughboy - puts down his guns and his violent ways to take up the cause of tax reform and privatization of the public sector. His hook will be a gang sign that symbolizes “Drill Baby, Drill”.

Of course they'll have to make improvements to the logo:




As well as change the ‘O’ in GOP to something other than ‘Old’, what with all the young hip-hoppers and their pimpin’ style and um, bling. Let’s see….. Grand Odd Party? Suggestions anyone?