It's almost Christmas…365 days ago, I was in pretty sorry shape.

Last year at this time, I was looking at 2 more chemo treatments, and by then it had finally caught up with me. I had an anaphylactic reaction to the oxalaplatin (AKA "Satan's Drool"), my white blood count had tanked, and pretty much crushing fatigue had taken hold.

Christmas was done as best as we could, but I grasped onto January 2013 with the tenacity of a sinking man clinging to a lifeline as he waited for rescue. Medically, I made it….but 2013 had it's share of challenges, too. I spent the first six months of the year getting routine occupational and physical therapy for my neuropathy. (Which is better, but my feet still linger), and even a year later, the fatigue never resolved itself...I tire easily, I feel like I've got no stamina, and I can't climb up a flight of stairs without sucking wind, but I suppose it all beats the alternative.


But back on December 4, I had a six-month checkup with my oncologist. She felt me up (no, really...just checking the ol' lymph nodes for swelling), drew some blood (normal), and generally pronounced me in good health. After January 1, I'll need a CAT scan, and I have another scoping in May, but this is my life for another 4 years now.

But there is more. Last year, when all this happened, I was new on the job at Fallon. While I had insurance, I had no vacation time or sick time to speak of, and after 3 years of struggling through the great recession, no savings, either. We depleted what was left of our retirement funds, and I had to borrow $5,000 from my mother to get us through. Not that it helped, for on December 24th last year, we returned home from the festivities to find a court summons taped to our door.

Yes indeed….we were nearly evicted last year. At one point in time, we were 2 months behind in rent and had been for over a year. I'm just glad the extremely lenient laws in this Commonwealth are all geared in favor of the tenant; this was our only saving grace. And somehow last January, we managed to go one week where there were no bills to pay and I had my entire paycheck that could be given over. I still have no idea how we managed that.

So another year of struggle went on...I was finally able to figure out how to separate some accounts so there was usually cash-on-hand to buy groceries or get $20 worth of gas so I could keep driving to Worcester. Last June, I actually rode my bike from Waltham to Cambridge to see my doctor in order to save the $5 parking fee. Of course, we couldn't do much else, and you all will recall the saga of Troop 250 and why I stayed on - because summer camp was paid for out of our popcorn sales, which was the only way we could afford to go. This many years into the Great Recession, I was really good at living hand-to-mouth. I told Mrs. TriSec one particularly thin week that if somebody gave me $20 and told me to buy a week of groceries and a tank of gas, I'd be able to do it.

But then something happened. In August, Mrs. TriSec got a better school job with the Catholic Archdiocese, and we were able to go one month without going too far into the hole. Then a mere 45 days later, she landed full time employment back with Tufts Health Plan with full benefits. And in two weeks (Columbus day to Halloween), our lives turned around 180 degrees.

So now as we look at Christmas 2013….the rent is paid in full, and will be on January 2 with money in the bank. All our bills are current. I've bought a new cellphone to play with. Santa won't be bringing around a huge sack this year, but there's certainly more things under the tree than last year. But it's the little things, too. I now buy gas and groceries when we need them, instead of waiting for payday so there's a positive balance to work with. I'm looking forward to getting a fishing license this summer. (They're not that expensive, but even that was too much the last two summers, and TriSec is too much of a Boy Scout to poach.) But I look at Javi now, and I've already promised him a better year. Even something as mundane as a pizza can be had on the fly, instead of planning ahead. Saying "No" to him was perhaps the most painful thing of all over these last few years. I'm hoping we'll be able to do more things this year; I'm hoping to get to Fenway this summer, rent a canoe, take him camping more, and maybe let him be a kid again without wondering how mama and papa are going to pay for it.

I don't suppose our GOP friends have thought about that - their ideology is more important than moving things forward...not only will our children be stuck with our bills, many of them really haven't had the chance to be children because of all the pressures their families face.

Finally...I've been rather reluctant to write such a blog as this. I know there are some among our extended family that are still struggling, still waking up to a bleak existence every morning, and indeed are wondering what tomorrow may bring. But if we can do this….so can you. Our friends on the right often excoriate us over the "Hope and Change" rhetoric, but some days that's all I had….hope that maybe one day in the future things would be better. Losing that hope would be a bad thing, I think.

Happy Christmas to us all. (And Hannukah and Kwanzaa, too!)