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Thanks for Everything or Covfefe Away!
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 2021-01-17 11:59:44

It’s a sad day in America. President Trump ™ a man who clearly won a second term, has bravely decided to unite our country, and will allow Lyin’ Biden to occupy the white house. Even though everybody says that he won the election, this benevolent and altruistic man is leaving Americans with a booming economy for Wall Street, a Greater than Great Border Wall, a spiffy new Military branch which will build a tremendous border wall in space, zero trade deficit and of course, having won the most votes by any person in any election at any time in the world – TWICE!

From the largest Inauguration in the world that didn’t have rain, to the amazing commitment of cleaning up Twitter, he has been the greatest President ever. He deserves a large military sendoff with lots of burly gun toting men in uniform surrounding him.

So, while the President staunchly takes the high road, I’d like to point out a few of his many great accomplishments. I mean, someone must speak up and toot his horn.

The most obvious of his gifts to America was Health Care. While the dems fought him all the way, President Trump never gave in and never quit on giving it to Americans! He fought tooth and nail for our marvelous replacement to Obamacare, Trump America Plan. TAP gives many, many Americans Healthcare.

He efforts to fight terrorism kept us safe. Working with the My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell, also known as “creepy mustache pillow hugger guy”, President Trump was able to quell Anti-American rioting and looting by Antifa and BLM. Mr. Lindell had this to say about it,
These dangerous groups like BLAM and the commie Angietah should all be taken to prison! They should be denied the most comfortable pillow in the world and not even have access to the Promo Code MP900 to get 30% off their order.

Let me give you just one example of how brilliant President Trump is - for he is too humble to do it himself. In 2019 Hurricane Dorian was boring down towards our coasts. The National Weather Service had inaccurately predicted that it would make landfall around the Carolinas. The President keenly noticed the mistake and whipped out his trusty Sharpie correcting the map and saving millions and millions of lives in Alabama.


When the horrible coronavirus attacked us, he leapt into action; not only holding daily briefings and giving instructions on how to keep ourselves safe but developing plans and instructing doctors on how to cure it. How many Americans were saved by drinking bleach when first symptoms appeared? We may never know the answer.

Lest us forget that he found a vaccine for the above-mentioned virus, and millions of Americans are now safe and back at work!

He had a strong but gentle touch with other world leaders. Remember how he gained the trust of, and made an enduring friendship with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un? Did Kim Jong Un send love letters to Obama? Don’t bother googling it, the answer is no, none. Zero. Trump was able to bond with his soul brother and often called him his “Korean Mini-me”. North Korea is no longer a threat to us as they focus on building their nuclear arsenal. Both men have a lot in common besides strong leadership, including a fondness for baggy suits and berating their children.

BFF's for Lyfe bitches!

These are just a few of the things he’s done for us. And, he had to get all this done while enemies of America (socialists, antifa, democrats) tried to bring him down with accusations of paying off porn stars and playboy models, raping women and young girls, peeing on hookers in Russia, lying and making money while in office from both foreign and domestic sources. The list goes on.

In fact, speaking of making money – which is his right as our leader – if you act quickly you can purchase memorabilia off his pop-up Etsy account. Hurry! Supplies are limited for these unique items. Items such as a portrait of George Washington, a bed slept in by Abraham Lincoln, boxes of Medals of Freedom, pressed roses planted by Jackie Kennedy from a resent rose garden renovation, a plethora of Christmas decorations from not just our current First Lady, but as far back as Dolly Madison, Dinnerware from the presidencies of Regan, Carter, Kennedy, Truman and Eisenhower, carpet remnants from the Oval office and so much more.
Act Now! Supplies are limited!


2 comments (Latest Comment: 01/18/2021 15:32:28 by velveeta jones)
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