I apologize for what is likely a stream-of-consciousness muse this evening.
A year ago on this very evening, I was arriving in West Palm Beach, FL - after a solo drive down the coast. I little knew it then, but it was the last "normal" thing I would do in 2020.
Months of discontent followed upon my return to Boston. Work collapsed - then my position, and then finally my job itself. Trolley tours have never resumed in Boston, after shutting down back around November 1. I remain personally sad and worried about my former staff, but that is now the past.
I've had a tough few months. My unfocused rage continues unabated. I have managed to get myself banned briefly from both Twitter and Daily Kos for some of my comments. (since re-instated.) Kos is a wash; I hadn't posted there in years, anyway. But I remain on Twitter.
But something curious happened - I'm no longer "rage tweeting". I don't know what changed back about January 20. I don't feel any better, but I am a bit less rage-y these days.
I had gone so far as to search for a left-wing militant group to join. Perhaps to our side's credit, they don't seem to exist. Oh, there are a few actual "Antifa" organizations out there, but they're primarily in Oregon. Nevertheless - throat punching a Nazi would bring me an undue amount of pleasure.
I have given some consideration to joining the Democratic Socialists of America
. They are legit; this is where AOC came from. But I'm not sure about this. Do I really want to become yet another talking head? I want concrete action.
Republicans remain trash. I have no sympathies for any of them, in fact, I have started referring to them as "Untermensch". And yes, as a student of history and particularly WWII, I recognize all the connotations of that word. But am I wrong?
In any case - It is February tomorrow. Why do I think it is a new beginning?
I have spent the last nine months navel-gazing. It is not healthy; take it from me. I continue to lament what I have lost. Opportunity. Position. Job. Friends. Family. All of it thanks to the GOP and their "dear leader".
I have decided recently that Donald Trump is specifically to blame for all my personal problems in 2020. Of course not true, but it's better than taking personal responsibility for my failings, isn't it? I begin to understand the hatred of Obama and Clinton. It's oh-so-much easier to blame somebody else than myself. But I digress.
Nay - it is all about work. Starting tomorrow, I begin a new assignment. I'm moving to second shift, 12:05 to 8:45 four nights a week. My very first full-time job (1987 maybe?) was second shift with almost the same hours. I recall liking it very much.
But I picked this myself. I like the route where I'm driving, and I can look at second shift and plan to guarantee myself 8 hours of sleep every night for the next few months.
It does mean shifting my home focus - breakfast and brunch will become the "main meal" with my bride. We'll see how this all works out.
But it is something I CHOSE to do. I wanted this shift. I bid on it, and despite being the low man on the totem pole, I actually got it.
It's been a full calendar year. The last thing that went right for me was my visit to Disney World a year ago, on February 7, 2020.
Would that we can return one day. I want a friggin' Dole Whip.