This being our last year on this planet (Mayan calendar and all that...) here follows are Velveeta's predictions for this last year of our True Lord and Savior, Two-Thousand Eleven or in film years MMIX.

Glen Beck will suffer a devastating explosion to his head when he tries to piece together a theory that William Shatner has a goatee adorned evil twin that is best friends with George Soros and the two are involved in plot to bring both Lenin and Lennon back to life as assisted by the Tides Foundation and Acorn that use several Government grants awarded to them from the National Endowment of the Arts (a Communist front group).

Sarah Palin will announce her run for President during "sweeps week" this May. Her platform will consist of ending the Federal Deficit by "just not talkin' about it ever again" and a jobs creation plan consisting of sending those on unemployment to China to work in factories owned by Americans. "They'll still be workin' fer America!" she'll claim. Her run for President will morph into a second reality show called, Runnin' Mascara on Sarah: Date with Destiny.

President Obama will continue his downward spiral of progressive support due to his constant compromising and his chances for re-election look bleak until August when his campaign staff hire David Hockney to design a poster of Obama in a swimming pool and new slogan: Why Can't We?

In December of 2011 it will come to light that not only does Oprah have her own network, OWN, we find out that she actually owns the world having bought it back in 2004. She uses Malaysia as her closet.

The Tea Party will finally admit that they are a bunch of racist homophobes and change their Gadsden Flag to read: Fuck You, I'll Tread on Whoever the Hell I Want to, This is America and I am White!!

Have a great year.