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The Stopped Clocks
Author: BobR
Date: 07/18/2013 13:09:25
The old saying goes that a stopped clock is right 2 times a day (this was back in the old days when clocks still had hands). The notion is that someone who seems to be wrong all the time does get it right every once in a while. This is the case with Republican politicians. Even though they support stupid stuff like rejecting a gun ban sale to suspected terrorists or ending cumpulsory education, every once in a while they do the right thing, and deserve credit where credit is due.
Sometimes this means joining Democrats in a bipartisan fashion to get something done that needs to get done. The most recent example of that is a bill being championed by senator Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY) to address sexual assault in the military. Joining her on this are senators Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX):
So good on them. Considering I despise most of their positions, it is tough to grudgingly give them credit here, but they certainly deserve it.
Along similar lines, we have House representatives John Lewis (D-GA) and James Sensenbrenner (R-WI) joining forces to reinforce the Voting Rights Act, now that the SCOTUS has gutted its most important provisions:
So there is a very real possibility that the VRA will be updated and redeployed. This is good news as states implement ever more draconian voting laws, in the form of required ID, restricted hours, and distribution of voting machines.
Sometimes, though, a Republican will break ranks with their own, and publicly disagree. House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) did just that after Senator Lindsey Graham (R-NC) suggested that the U.S. should boycott the Olympics in Russia because they are not extraditing NSA leaker Edward Snowden:
He's exactly right about that, and Senator Graham is completely wrong. The boycott would make us look petty, as well as uncaring about the kids (mostly) who've waited for their Olympic moment their entire lives. So kudos to Boehner for saying the right thing instead of providing cover for his party-mate. Kudos to him as well for supporting what appears to be similar to a key component of the DREAM Act.
So now that we've given credit where credit was due, we now return you to our normal coverage of Republican stupidity, like House Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) saying that killing the immigration bill will make Hispanics realize that Republicans actually like them.
No - really...
Sometimes this means joining Democrats in a bipartisan fashion to get something done that needs to get done. The most recent example of that is a bill being championed by senator Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY) to address sexual assault in the military. Joining her on this are senators Rand Paul (R-KY) and Ted Cruz (R-TX):
Sens. Rand Paul and Ted Cruz have joined an upstart effort to remove the chain of command from military sexual assault cases, POLITICO has learned.
The tea party favorites give the bill’s lead sponsor, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, critical conservative cover as she battles the Pentagon and hawks in both parties on her proposal to create a new prosecution system for major military crimes.
[...]
Gillibrand already has 32 cosponsors and the addition of Paul and Cruz provides a powerful political message as she continues to lobby for more votes in face-to-face meetings on the Senate floor.
So good on them. Considering I despise most of their positions, it is tough to grudgingly give them credit here, but they certainly deserve it.
Along similar lines, we have House representatives John Lewis (D-GA) and James Sensenbrenner (R-WI) joining forces to reinforce the Voting Rights Act, now that the SCOTUS has gutted its most important provisions:
Sensenbrenner echoed that message. He characterized the VRA as the single most successful anti-discrimination law of the last half-century, and warned that a failure of Congress to act would "undermine the progress that has been made over the last 50 years."
"Free, fair, and accessible elections are sacrosanct, and the right of every legal voter to cast their ballot must be unassailable," he testified. "Voter discrimination still exists, and our progress toward equality should not be mistaken for a final victory."
So there is a very real possibility that the VRA will be updated and redeployed. This is good news as states implement ever more draconian voting laws, in the form of required ID, restricted hours, and distribution of voting machines.
Sometimes, though, a Republican will break ranks with their own, and publicly disagree. House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) did just that after Senator Lindsey Graham (R-NC) suggested that the U.S. should boycott the Olympics in Russia because they are not extraditing NSA leaker Edward Snowden:
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) lit off a firestorm Tuesday when he told The Hill the U.S. should consider a boycott if the National Security Agency leaker gets asylum from Russia.
The USOC said this would only punish U.S. athletes, while Boehner said Graham was "dead wrong."
"Why would we want to punish U.S. athletes who've been training for three years to compete in the Olympics over a traitor who can't find a place to call home?" Boehner (R-Ohio) told reporters when asked about the comments.
He's exactly right about that, and Senator Graham is completely wrong. The boycott would make us look petty, as well as uncaring about the kids (mostly) who've waited for their Olympic moment their entire lives. So kudos to Boehner for saying the right thing instead of providing cover for his party-mate. Kudos to him as well for supporting what appears to be similar to a key component of the DREAM Act.
So now that we've given credit where credit was due, we now return you to our normal coverage of Republican stupidity, like House Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) saying that killing the immigration bill will make Hispanics realize that Republicans actually like them.
No - really...
Comments:
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Comment by 
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:15:21
good morning.
MCDonnell is going down. WaPo just released a slew of emails that show how complicit he is with Star Scientific.
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:15:21
good morning. MCDonnell is going down. WaPo just released a slew of emails that show how complicit he is with Star Scientific.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:17:22
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:17:22
Wow, between all of that and John MCCain working to get appointments filled I'm a little dizzy.
Comment by 
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:18:45
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:18:45
So I clicked on the Louie Gohmert because his combination of buck-ass stupidity and bat crap crazy is like catnip for me. The picture there is priceless! Louie's got some serious crazy face going on there! 
Not to mention the stuff he says is his wonderful mix of stupid and crazy. This is why he is my favorite GOP fool at the moment.
Not to mention the stuff he says is his wonderful mix of stupid and crazy. This is why he is my favorite GOP fool at the moment.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:19:43
Shit is getting deep. The Cooch must be getting a little sweaty around the collar.
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:19:43
RICHMOND — Jonnie R. Williams Sr., the wealthy nutritional supplement maker at the center of Gov. Robert F. McDonnell’s gifts scandal, met with Virginia’s health secretary to pitch his product at the recommendation of the governor, according to an e-mail his assistant wrote the day of the November 2010 meeting.
“This email is to confirm a meeting between Jonnie Williams and Secretary Bill Hazel on Thursday, November 4th at 9:00 am,†Monica Block, McDonnell’s scheduler, wrote to Williams’s assistant in a message two days before he sat down with Hazel, the state’s secretary of health and human resources.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:22:02
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:22:02
OMG* you sweet little B37
(* Oh my Gohmert)
(* Oh my Gohmert)
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:24:18
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:24:18
Quote by Raine:
OMG* you sweet little B37
(* Oh my Gohmert)
Comment by 
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:26:59
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:26:59
Morning 
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:32:47
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:32:47
I have a feeling someone is going to be sacrificed in this tangled web... Trans-vag Bob isn't going to want to go to jail...
That same year, Cuccinelli disclosed receiving a gift valued at $800 for a temporary stay at the Goochland County residence of Jonnie R. Williams, the chief executive of a Glen Allen-based health supplement company. Cuccinelli's relationship with Williams, whose Star Scientific Inc. firm once marketed tobacco products, appears to evolve from there, according to records.
His staff said the attorney general acquired company stock in 2010, and the year after, when he also reported accepting nearly $13,000 in gifts from Williams.
More than a year after Cuccinelli's e-cigarette opinion, Williams, whose company is behind the smoking-cessation dietary supplement CigRx, filed a patent application for an "alkaloid composition for an e-cigarette."
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:44:41
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:44:41
Gohmert has been repeatedly beaten with the stupid stick.
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:50:26
very tangled - Maybe this is why Bolling has stepped away from both of them. Maybe they cede this years election then next time the Gov's seat is open that's when Bolling runs.
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 13:50:26
Quote by Raine:
I have a feeling someone is going to be sacrificed in this tangled web... Trans-vag Bob isn't going to want to go to jail...That same year, Cuccinelli disclosed receiving a gift valued at $800 for a temporary stay at the Goochland County residence of Jonnie R. Williams, the chief executive of a Glen Allen-based health supplement company. Cuccinelli's relationship with Williams, whose Star Scientific Inc. firm once marketed tobacco products, appears to evolve from there, according to records.
His staff said the attorney general acquired company stock in 2010, and the year after, when he also reported accepting nearly $13,000 in gifts from Williams.
More than a year after Cuccinelli's e-cigarette opinion, Williams, whose company is behind the smoking-cessation dietary supplement CigRx, filed a patent application for an "alkaloid composition for an e-cigarette."
very tangled - Maybe this is why Bolling has stepped away from both of them. Maybe they cede this years election then next time the Gov's seat is open that's when Bolling runs.
Comment by 
Scoopster on 07/18/2013 13:51:09
Scoopster on 07/18/2013 13:51:09
Good mornin' all.. 
Last day of the week for me.. tomorrow it's off to CT for the high school reunion. 20 years.. jeez! It should be interesting - good thing there's an open bar.
And then Saturday it's off to New York to Mom's with my best friend (and gf?). It took 12 years but she's finally meeting the 'rents (or should I say Mom & my uncle).
Last day of the week for me.. tomorrow it's off to CT for the high school reunion. 20 years.. jeez! It should be interesting - good thing there's an open bar.
And then Saturday it's off to New York to Mom's with my best friend (and gf?). It took 12 years but she's finally meeting the 'rents (or should I say Mom & my uncle).
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:53:50
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:53:50
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:54:36
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 13:54:36
What the Rational Wiki has to say about Rep. Gohmert:
Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in a very far-right state, jumping on the "elect another true son of Texas" train in the 2004 election, the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010 While a reasonably competent campaigner, as a politician, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 13:54:55
Wow! That's awesome, Scoop. I;m so happy for you.
Raine on 07/18/2013 13:54:55
Quote by Scoopster:
Good mornin' all..
Last day of the week for me.. tomorrow it's off to CT for the high school reunion. 20 years.. jeez! It should be interesting - good thing there's an open bar.
And then Saturday it's off to New York to Mom's with my best friend (and gf?). It took 12 years but she's finally meeting the 'rents (or should I say Mom & my uncle).
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 14:01:04
Raine on 07/18/2013 14:01:04
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:01:12
aawwww that's awesome!
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:01:12
Quote by Scoopster:
Good mornin' all..
Last day of the week for me.. tomorrow it's off to CT for the high school reunion. 20 years.. jeez! It should be interesting - good thing there's an open bar.
And then Saturday it's off to New York to Mom's with my best friend (and gf?). It took 12 years but she's finally meeting the 'rents (or should I say Mom & my uncle).
aawwww that's awesome!
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:02:06
translation - hit by the stupid stick
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:02:06
Quote by Mondobubba:
What the Rational Wiki has to say about Rep. Gohmert:Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in a very far-right state, jumping on the "elect another true son of Texas" train in the 2004 election, the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010 While a reasonably competent campaigner, as a politician, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space.
translation - hit by the stupid stick
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:09:11
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:09:11
I was watching the New Hour last night and they were discussing the DC living wage law. They doing this a panel discussion with a conservative and liberal of course. On the liberal side, some guy from the CAP or similar outfit. On the conservative side, Steven Moore for the WSJ editorial page. My question was why, News Hour, why? Steven Moore has a long track record for saying unsubstantiated horseshit that is about a mile long. Last night his biggest lie was say Wal Mart has a fifty year history of being one of the best anti-poverty programs, ever. Yes you read that right. Moore also uses the snarl term "super-minimum wage" for living wage. He also pulled out the dis proven canard that increasing the minimum wage kills job growth.
I sent a comment about him being on the program to the powers that be at the News Hour.
I sent a comment about him being on the program to the powers that be at the News Hour.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:10:11
When he fell out of the stupid tree, he managed to hit each branch on the way down.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:10:11
Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Mondobubba:
What the Rational Wiki has to say about Rep. Gohmert:Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in a very far-right state, jumping on the "elect another true son of Texas" train in the 2004 election, the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010 While a reasonably competent campaigner, as a politician, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space.
translation - hit by the stupid stick
When he fell out of the stupid tree, he managed to hit each branch on the way down.
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:12:00
exactly
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:12:00
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Mondobubba:
What the Rational Wiki has to say about Rep. Gohmert:Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in a very far-right state, jumping on the "elect another true son of Texas" train in the 2004 election, the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010 While a reasonably competent campaigner, as a politician, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space.
translation - hit by the stupid stick
When he fell out of the stupid tree, he managed to hit each branch on the way down.
exactly
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:20:11
:Foghorn Leghorn voice: I say, I say that boy is about as dumb as pound of wet leather.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:20:11
Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Mondobubba:
What the Rational Wiki has to say about Rep. Gohmert:Louie Gohmert is a Republican Representative from Texas (first elected in 2004) and an accomplished idiot. He continues Texas' long, well-deserved reputation of electing eminently stupid people to federal office. He survives by hewing as far right as he can go in a very far-right state, jumping on the "elect another true son of Texas" train in the 2004 election, the birther train in 2009 and the Tea Party movement in 2010 While a reasonably competent campaigner, as a politician, nothing he says accomplishes anything beyond wasting time, his proposed bills go nowhere, and his role on every House committee is to be a big dumb waste of space.
translation - hit by the stupid stick
When he fell out of the stupid tree, he managed to hit each branch on the way down.
exactly
:Foghorn Leghorn voice: I say, I say that boy is about as dumb as pound of wet leather.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:21:43
Suck it up Darryl, it's good for you.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:21:43
Quote by BobR:
Issa getting a taste of his own medicine.
Ohhh yeahhhh....
Suck it up Darryl, it's good for you.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 14:35:22
Raine on 07/18/2013 14:35:22
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 14:36:09
How much you wanna bet he's got UGA paraphernalia in his mom's basement?
Raine on 07/18/2013 14:36:09
Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
How much you wanna bet he's got UGA paraphernalia in his mom's basement?
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:40:07
2 things I learned from that article -
1) there is some hard living down in GA cause that dude did not look 29, I would have pegged him for 40 easy.
2) "slap a ho" is another name for bath salts
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 14:40:07
Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
2 things I learned from that article -
1) there is some hard living down in GA cause that dude did not look 29, I would have pegged him for 40 easy.
2) "slap a ho" is another name for bath salts
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:44:52
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:44:52
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:51:11
Meh. It's no Florida Man Sips Beer As He Wanders Naked Through Neighborhood; Says He Didn't Know He Had No Clothes On
Or: Florida Man Denies Masturbating In Front Of Women At Beach, Claims His "Pants Fell Down"
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 14:51:11
Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
Meh. It's no Florida Man Sips Beer As He Wanders Naked Through Neighborhood; Says He Didn't Know He Had No Clothes On
Or: Florida Man Denies Masturbating In Front Of Women At Beach, Claims His "Pants Fell Down"
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:06:18
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:06:18
Then there is this Florida Man: Florida Man Arrested For Punching Window Of Moving Truck While Yelling "Zimmerman"
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 15:09:32
Florida in the lead!
Raine on 07/18/2013 15:09:32
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
Meh. It's no Florida Man Sips Beer As He Wanders Naked Through Neighborhood; Says He Didn't Know He Had No Clothes On
Or: Florida Man Denies Masturbating In Front Of Women At Beach, Claims His "Pants Fell Down"
Comment by Scoopster on 07/18/2013 15:09:49
Apparently there's an entire sub-Reddit dedicated to news stories about the stupidity that is Florida.
Scoopster on 07/18/2013 15:09:49
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
Meh. It's no Florida Man Sips Beer As He Wanders Naked Through Neighborhood; Says He Didn't Know He Had No Clothes On
Or: Florida Man Denies Masturbating In Front Of Women At Beach, Claims His "Pants Fell Down"
Apparently there's an entire sub-Reddit dedicated to news stories about the stupidity that is Florida.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:14:31
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:14:31
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 15:17:02
I know the penis story is satire, but how funny is it that they chose ATHENS? 
Raine on 07/18/2013 15:17:02
Quote by Mondobubba:
Oh Lawdy! There's a Georgia Man on Twitter!
Georgia Man Dressed As A Penis Gets Ticketed; Says "He Was Raising Awareness For Testicular Cancer."
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:18:15
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:18:15
Glee news that isn't tragic - Dot-Marie and Jane Lynch got Emmy nods 
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:18:53
Reddit is good, but it doesn't have the pithy headlines that Florida Man has on Twitter.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:18:53
Quote by Scoopster:
Linky: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF_Florida/
Reddit is good, but it doesn't have the pithy headlines that Florida Man has on Twitter.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:21:37
Um, very?
Sadly, there is no Alabama Man.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:21:37
Quote by Raine:I know the penis story is satire, but how funny is it that they chose ATHENS?Quote by Mondobubba:
Oh Lawdy! There's a Georgia Man on Twitter!
Georgia Man Dressed As A Penis Gets Ticketed; Says "He Was Raising Awareness For Testicular Cancer."
Um, very?
Sadly, there is no Alabama Man.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:22:24
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:22:24
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 15:24:58
That's great!
I;m not sure if Lynch is coming back to the show, but I really hope they bring more Beiste.
Raine on 07/18/2013 15:24:58
Quote by wickedpam:
Glee news that isn't tragic - Dot-Marie and Jane Lynch got Emmy nods
I;m not sure if Lynch is coming back to the show, but I really hope they bring more Beiste.
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:27:48
Beiste is one of my fave characters. Hard to say how the new season is gonna go - they have a lot to deal with now since the death. Such a shame. I kind of hope they write it into the plot in a respectful way.
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:27:48
Quote by Raine:That's great!Quote by wickedpam:
Glee news that isn't tragic - Dot-Marie and Jane Lynch got Emmy nods
I;m not sure if Lynch is coming back to the show, but I really hope they bring more Beiste.
Beiste is one of my fave characters. Hard to say how the new season is gonna go - they have a lot to deal with now since the death. Such a shame. I kind of hope they write it into the plot in a respectful way.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 15:37:52
They've had a lot to deal with already. I (sadly) suspect they are going to have the character die. *sigh*
Raine on 07/18/2013 15:37:52
Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Raine:That's great!Quote by wickedpam:
Glee news that isn't tragic - Dot-Marie and Jane Lynch got Emmy nods
I;m not sure if Lynch is coming back to the show, but I really hope they bring more Beiste.
Beiste is one of my fave characters. Hard to say how the new season is gonna go - they have a lot to deal with now since the death. Such a shame. I kind of hope they write it into the plot in a respectful way.
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:42:22
my thoughts too - there is no way Finn would leave Rachel except in death.
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 15:42:22
Quote by Raine:They've had a lot to deal with already. I (sadly) suspect they are going to have the character die. *sigh*Quote by wickedpam:Quote by Raine:That's great!Quote by wickedpam:
Glee news that isn't tragic - Dot-Marie and Jane Lynch got Emmy nods
I;m not sure if Lynch is coming back to the show, but I really hope they bring more Beiste.
Beiste is one of my fave characters. Hard to say how the new season is gonna go - they have a lot to deal with now since the death. Such a shame. I kind of hope they write it into the plot in a respectful way.
my thoughts too - there is no way Finn would leave Rachel except in death.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:50:31
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:50:31
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 15:53:07
There doesn't seem to be any other realistic way.
Raine on 07/18/2013 15:53:07
Quote by wickedpam:
my thoughts too - there is no way Finn would leave Rachel except in death.
There doesn't seem to be any other realistic way.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:56:36
Glee ditch. :ducks bricks:
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 15:56:36
Glee ditch.
:ducks bricks:
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 16:02:14
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 16:02:14
pretty much
I could go into a Supernatural ditch since I've been watching Netflix but I think I'm the only one here who watches that
I could go into a Supernatural ditch since I've been watching Netflix but I think I'm the only one here who watches that
Comment by 
trojanrabbit on 07/18/2013 16:05:33
And Floriduh is the only state that has its own Fark.com tag. For example
Hero
Stupid
FAIL
Asinine
Interesting
Cool
Dumbass
Amusing
Sad
Florida
....
Just went out to get a battery for my 85 year old neighbor's cordless phone. Damn. 150 in the car. We don't get Excessive Heat Warnings around these parts very often at all. Tomorrow will be worse.
trojanrabbit on 07/18/2013 16:05:33
Quote by Scoopster:Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by Raine:
Georgia is in the daily lead for dumbass state of the Day.
DASOTeD
Meh. It's no Florida Man Sips Beer As He Wanders Naked Through Neighborhood; Says He Didn't Know He Had No Clothes On
Or: Florida Man Denies Masturbating In Front Of Women At Beach, Claims His "Pants Fell Down"
Apparently there's an entire sub-Reddit dedicated to news stories about the stupidity that is Florida.
And Floriduh is the only state that has its own Fark.com tag. For example
Hero
Stupid
FAIL
Asinine
Interesting
Cool
Dumbass
Amusing
Sad
Florida
....
Just went out to get a battery for my 85 year old neighbor's cordless phone. Damn. 150 in the car. We don't get Excessive Heat Warnings around these parts very often at all. Tomorrow will be worse.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:08:24
Speaking of ditches, tonight 7PM eastern on SyFy, SHARKNADO!
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:08:24
Quote by wickedpam:
pretty much
I could go into a Supernatural ditch since I've been watching Netflix but I think I'm the only one here who watches that
Speaking of ditches, tonight 7PM eastern on SyFy, SHARKNADO!
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:21:39
joke:
A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.â€
12 loaves of bread! :tugs at collar:
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:21:39
joke:A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.â€
12 loaves of bread! :tugs at collar:
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:33:57
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:33:57
An Irishman goes to a building site for his first day of work, and a couple of Englishmen think, "Ah, we'll have some fun with him!" So they walk up and say, "Hey, Paddy, as you're new here make sure you know a joist from a girder..." "Ah, sure, I knows" says Paddy, "twas Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust."
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:35:10
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:35:10
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 16:35:18
dang it - on too early for me - I'll probably be at the lamp store picking up my newly rewired vintage lamps
watch it with a Twitter feed, esp Wil Whetons
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 16:35:18
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by wickedpam:
pretty much
I could go into a Supernatural ditch since I've been watching Netflix but I think I'm the only one here who watches that
Speaking of ditches, tonight 7PM eastern on SyFy, SHARKNADO!
dang it - on too early for me - I'll probably be at the lamp store picking up my newly rewired vintage lamps
watch it with a Twitter feed, esp Wil Whetons
Comment by Scoopster on 07/18/2013 16:37:10
Must not be a Perl programmer..
Scoopster on 07/18/2013 16:37:10
Quote by Mondobubba:
A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.â€
12 loaves of bread! :tugs at collar:
Must not be a Perl programmer..
Comment by Will in Chicago on 07/18/2013 16:37:18
Will in Chicago on 07/18/2013 16:37:18
Trojanrabbit, we are under a heat advisory here. I am trying to keep the lawn alive but it may be futile.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:37:42
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:37:42
A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies "No I'm traveling light"
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:38:22
Heeeeey now!
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:38:22
Quote by Scoopster:Quote by Mondobubba:
A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.â€
12 loaves of bread! :tugs at collar:
Must not be a Perl programmer..
Heeeeey now!
Comment by 
livingonli on 07/18/2013 16:41:58
livingonli on 07/18/2013 16:41:58
Hello, everybody! Seems like I have been too busy to post here of late because there was a little mix-up and I had to spend several days getting my paycheck but at least that got settled. Tomorrow, I am going up to Connecticut with my brother (possibly overnight) so I won't be online Friday and probably not until Saturday if I don't get home until then.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:47:56
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:47:56
Your mother is so classless, she could be a marxist utopia
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:53:47
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:53:47
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:55:12
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 16:55:12
An American female walking down the street in Germany passes a man peeing in the bushes and disgustedly exclaims, "Gross!". He replies with a grin, "Danke Schon!"
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 17:05:20
WEll I hope you have a nice weekend, Liv.
I;m glad you the paycheck mix up fixed. that sounds quite sucky.
Raine on 07/18/2013 17:05:20
Quote by livingonli:
Hello, everybody! Seems like I have been too busy to post here of late because there was a little mix-up and I had to spend several days getting my paycheck but at least that got settled. Tomorrow, I am going up to Connecticut with my brother (possibly overnight) so I won't be online Friday and probably not until Saturday if I don't get home until then.
I;m glad you the paycheck mix up fixed. that sounds quite sucky.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 17:05:50
Raine on 07/18/2013 17:05:50
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 17:07:32
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 17:07:32
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 17:09:52
Travel safe Liv, Good to see you getting a change of scenery for a few days
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 17:09:52
Quote by livingonli:
Hello, everybody! Seems like I have been too busy to post here of late because there was a little mix-up and I had to spend several days getting my paycheck but at least that got settled. Tomorrow, I am going up to Connecticut with my brother (possibly overnight) so I won't be online Friday and probably not until Saturday if I don't get home until then.
Travel safe Liv, Good to see you getting a change of scenery for a few days
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 17:11:13
Think I got wind burn from the ones that flew at light speed over my head
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 17:11:13
Quote by Mondobubba:
Where I've been getting these gems.
Think I got wind burn from the ones that flew at light speed over my head
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:06:33
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:06:33
Music joke:
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:08:19
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:08:19
English major joke:
Four dons were walking down an Oxford street one evening. All were philologists and members of the English department. They were discussing group nouns: a covey of quail, a pride of lions, an exaltation of larks.
As they talked, they passed four ladies of the evening. The dons did not exactly ignore the hussies—in a literary way, that is. One of them asked: “How would you describe a group like that?â€
Suggested the first: “A jam of tarts?†The second: “A flourish of strumpets?†The third: “An essay of Trollope’s?†Then the dean of the dons, the eldest and most scholarly of them all, closed the discussion: “I wish that you gentlemen would consider ‘An anthology of pros.’ “
Four dons were walking down an Oxford street one evening. All were philologists and members of the English department. They were discussing group nouns: a covey of quail, a pride of lions, an exaltation of larks.
As they talked, they passed four ladies of the evening. The dons did not exactly ignore the hussies—in a literary way, that is. One of them asked: “How would you describe a group like that?â€
Suggested the first: “A jam of tarts?†The second: “A flourish of strumpets?†The third: “An essay of Trollope’s?†Then the dean of the dons, the eldest and most scholarly of them all, closed the discussion: “I wish that you gentlemen would consider ‘An anthology of pros.’ “
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:11:18
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:11:18
Karl Marx and Adam Smith are on a boat. Karl Marx falls into the water. Who pushed him ?
The invisible hand
The invisible hand
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:44:35
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 18:44:35
Computer joke:
A byte walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks "Is something wrong?" and the byte says "PARITY ERROR". The bartender says "I thought you looked a bit off."
A byte walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks "Is something wrong?" and the byte says "PARITY ERROR". The bartender says "I thought you looked a bit off."
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:23:44
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:23:44
TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman "Hello, I'd like a beer."
The barman replies "Hello, you'd like a beer?"
"Yes," replies the TCP packet, "I'd like a beer."
The barman replies "Hello, you'd like a beer?"
"Yes," replies the TCP packet, "I'd like a beer."
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 19:32:17
Raine on 07/18/2013 19:32:17
BBQ sauce is simmering.... 
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 19:34:07
Raine on 07/18/2013 19:34:07
Someone pull Mondo out of the hole...
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:50:26
Mondo is enjoying the hole too much!
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:50:26
Quote by Raine:
Someone pull Mondo out of the hole...
Mondo is enjoying the hole too much!
Comment by wickedpam on 07/18/2013 19:51:14
wickedpam on 07/18/2013 19:51:14
Comment by BobR on 07/18/2013 19:55:00
Sodium walks into a bar. The bartender asks "You want a beer?". Sodium says "Na...". Then Chlorine walks in and pretty soon both are charged for assault.
BobR on 07/18/2013 19:55:00
Quote by Mondobubba:
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.
Sodium walks into a bar. The bartender asks "You want a beer?". Sodium says "Na...". Then Chlorine walks in and pretty soon both are charged for assault.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:55:01
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:55:01
So, a neutron walked into a bar and said "I'd like a beer, please."
After the bartender gave him one, he said "How much will that be?"
"For you?" said the bartender "No charge."
After the bartender gave him one, he said "How much will that be?"
"For you?" said the bartender "No charge."
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:57:42
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 19:57:42
Quote by BobR:Quote by Mondobubba:
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.
Sodium walks into a bar. The bartender asks "You want a beer?". Sodium says "Na...". Then Chlorine walks in and pretty soon both are charged for assault.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:01:58
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:01:58
Eris, Loki and Kali walk into a bar. The waitperson comes over and says, "Order Please!"
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:12:48
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:12:48
I know this one is going to go over almost everyone's head:
I can't bring my NSAIDs anywhere, they're such cox blockers.
I can't bring my NSAIDs anywhere, they're such cox blockers.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:17:11
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:17:11
Q: What's the opposite of latent tuberculosis? A: Conspicuous consumption.
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 20:18:29
Raine on 07/18/2013 20:18:29
Quote by wickedpam:
Comment by BobR on 07/18/2013 20:21:43
And I made up my joke all by myself...
BobR on 07/18/2013 20:21:43
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by BobR:Quote by Mondobubba:
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.
Sodium walks into a bar. The bartender asks "You want a beer?". Sodium says "Na...". Then Chlorine walks in and pretty soon both are charged for assault.
And I made up my joke all by myself...
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:42:05
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:42:05
Molecular biologist pick up line:
If I were an enzyme, I'd be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
If I were an enzyme, I'd be a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:43:31
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:43:31
Why couldn't the NSA worker go to work? He was Snowd-en.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:45:43
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:45:43
Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:55:30
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 20:55:30
This one in just for Bobber:
An SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
An SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
Comment by Raine on 07/18/2013 20:56:49
Raine on 07/18/2013 20:56:49
BREAKING NEWS.
the DOJ is placing a hold on all George Zimmerman trial evidence.
It includes his gun.
the DOJ is placing a hold on all George Zimmerman trial evidence.
It includes his gun.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:14:19
Well that would seem to indicate they are moving forward on the civil rights violation case.
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:14:19
Quote by Raine:
BREAKING NEWS.
the DOJ is placing a hold on all George Zimmerman trial evidence.
It includes his gun.
Well that would seem to indicate they are moving forward on the civil rights violation case.
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:14:57
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:14:57
:Drops back into the joke spider hole:
Comment by Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:31:36
Mondobubba on 07/18/2013 21:31:36
French pun:
There are two cats that are attempting to race across a river. The first cat, an English cat, is named One-Two-Three. The other cat, who is French, is called Un-Deux-Trois.
Why did One-Two-Three win the race?
A: Because Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.
There are two cats that are attempting to race across a river. The first cat, an English cat, is named One-Two-Three. The other cat, who is French, is called Un-Deux-Trois.
Why did One-Two-Three win the race?
A: Because Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.
Comment by Scoopster on 07/18/2013 22:45:26
Euh.. foux-moi la paix!
Scoopster on 07/18/2013 22:45:26
Quote by Mondobubba:
French pun:
There are two cats that are attempting to race across a river. The first cat, an English cat, is named One-Two-Three. The other cat, who is French, is called Un-Deux-Trois.
Why did One-Two-Three win the race?
A: Because Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.
Euh.. foux-moi la paix!
Comment by BobR on 07/18/2013 22:46:50
my beer has all real stuff - I don't buy the cheap crap. Here is the comment I posted to the story:
What's shocking is how little she really knows what she's talking about. The fish bladder she mentions is a fining agent. What that means is that it makes tiny particles that are suspended in the beer to stick together and drop out. They are left at the bottom of the bright tanks by design. FINING AGENTS DO NOT MAKE IT INTO THE FINAL PACKAGED PRODUCT.
She also posts a picture of herself drinking wine. Guess what? Nearly every wine produced ALSO uses fining agents like isinglass or chitosan. They don't end up in the wine either. Wines are much more likely to use sulfites as a stabilizer to kill the yeast in wine so it doesn't keep metabolizing and turn the wine into champagne (or worse - vinegar).
Finally - it is the Macro breweries that use the non-traditional ingredients. Craft breweries, smaller breweries, and all German beer do not use corn syrup, corn, rice, etc. To point out the worst of the worst and then tar the entire industry with the same brush is lazy, irresponsible, and bad sensationalist journalism. This article gets a big FAIL.
BobR on 07/18/2013 22:46:50
Quote by Scoopster:
Hmmm.. what's in YOUR beer?
my beer has all real stuff - I don't buy the cheap crap. Here is the comment I posted to the story:
What's shocking is how little she really knows what she's talking about. The fish bladder she mentions is a fining agent. What that means is that it makes tiny particles that are suspended in the beer to stick together and drop out. They are left at the bottom of the bright tanks by design. FINING AGENTS DO NOT MAKE IT INTO THE FINAL PACKAGED PRODUCT.
She also posts a picture of herself drinking wine. Guess what? Nearly every wine produced ALSO uses fining agents like isinglass or chitosan. They don't end up in the wine either. Wines are much more likely to use sulfites as a stabilizer to kill the yeast in wine so it doesn't keep metabolizing and turn the wine into champagne (or worse - vinegar).
Finally - it is the Macro breweries that use the non-traditional ingredients. Craft breweries, smaller breweries, and all German beer do not use corn syrup, corn, rice, etc. To point out the worst of the worst and then tar the entire industry with the same brush is lazy, irresponsible, and bad sensationalist journalism. This article gets a big FAIL.
Comment by Raine on 07/19/2013 01:40:37
She's really kinda full of shit and knows half as much.
This is sure to piss off a lot of people who actually drink real beer.
Raine on 07/19/2013 01:40:37
Quote by BobR:Quote by Scoopster:
Hmmm.. what's in YOUR beer?
my beer has all real stuff - I don't buy the cheap crap. Here is the comment I posted to the story:
What's shocking is how little she really knows what she's talking about. The fish bladder she mentions is a fining agent. What that means is that it makes tiny particles that are suspended in the beer to stick together and drop out. They are left at the bottom of the bright tanks by design. FINING AGENTS DO NOT MAKE IT INTO THE FINAL PACKAGED PRODUCT.
She also posts a picture of herself drinking wine. Guess what? Nearly every wine produced ALSO uses fining agents like isinglass or chitosan. They don't end up in the wine either. Wines are much more likely to use sulfites as a stabilizer to kill the yeast in wine so it doesn't keep metabolizing and turn the wine into champagne (or worse - vinegar).
Finally - it is the Macro breweries that use the non-traditional ingredients. Craft breweries, smaller breweries, and all German beer do not use corn syrup, corn, rice, etc. To point out the worst of the worst and then tar the entire industry with the same brush is lazy, irresponsible, and bad sensationalist journalism. This article gets a big FAIL.
This is sure to piss off a lot of people who actually drink real beer.