Willards Other Side Author: velveeta jonesDate:04/15/2012 14:17:13
Now that the field has cleared and we have a GOP Presidential candidate we wonder who he'll pick for his running mate.
To be clear, Mitt is the candidate. There are rumors that others are still running against Mr. Money, but no one can find Ron Paul and Newty has run out of money and currently running away from debt collectors. I suppose that he's hiding out in a double-wide somewhere; with Callista cooking eggs over a small stove wearing her diamonds that she refuses to give up. Some people are saying that they've seen Ron Paul wandering the streets of Dallas in a bath robe and muttering nonsense, "End the war, can the tuna, smell the love of the founding fathers who want the tax code changed into Obamacare..." Theory is that he smoked some weed laced with some highly toxic bath salts and has finally lost his mind.
But let us look on the positive. Who will be Mitt's running mate? Will it be a black man, or a woman? Here are some of the possible choices:
Herman Cain (999) Currently Cain is busy trying to distract from his sex scandal and two of his non-profit fundraisers under Federal investigation by making animal snuff films and putting them on YouTube. They are beyond bizarre. Bunny rabbits getting flung into the air and shot out of the sky, chickens pecking a man to death, fish filmed dying out of water. Maybe Herman will be the mad scientist in the next "Human Centipede" film. Or, perhaps he'll be our Vice President one day! Yay!
Gov. Rikki Haley The Gov. of SC is quite popular. She's purty and she spells her name with 2 k's and an i at the end, how awesome is that? I'll bet she dots the 'i' with a little heart or a star. Yes, I'm going with a star.
Gov. Jan Brewer She's another female choice. She is the Gov of AZ where the white people are white and there is never a shortage of Hispanic gardeners, despite the fact that most of AZ is a desert and should not really have lawns. But whatever. She has a good strong finger that she's perfectly comfortable using on our (black) President so he knows his place. She'd work well with Mitt, in that she'd overshadow him completely.
Rep. Allen West He's black, he's crazy, he's perfect! Allen isn't not afraid to speak the truth. Truths like: 81 Democrats in Congress are members of the Communist Party. He once said President Obama exhibited "third-world dictator-like arrogance." And, when a video came out of Marines urinating on Afghan corpses, he said, "Unless you have been shot at by the Taliban, shut your mouth." Yes, he'd be a fine, fine choice for VP nom. Just like Sarah Palin was.
I'm on the edge of my seat wondering who he'll pick!