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The change they deserve...
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 05/18/2008 13:20:43

Recently the GOP decided they needed a new slogan, after all, the "change" idea seemed to be working for everyone from Obama to Ron Paul. So they came up with something; as New York Times columnist Carl Hulse recently reported:

It looks like Republicans will counter the Democratic push for change from the years of the Bush administration with their own pledge to deliver, drum roll please, "the change you deserve." The first element of the party agenda developed over the past few months by the leadership and select party members will focus on family issues.

"Through our "Change You Deserve" message and through our "American Families Agenda," House Republicans will continue our efforts to speak directly to an American public looking for leaders who will offer real solutions for the challenges they confront every day," said the memo prepared for lawmakers.


"Change You Deserve". Sounds good! Snappy! Right to the point! Powerful! Sounds like........... like some smart ad exec. might have already thought of it!!


Oops!


What the GOP doesn't seem to realize, because they are idiots, is that "the change you deserve" is the registered advertising slogan of Effexor XR, a drug that many of you might have started taking as a result of all the...you know -- terrorism. (Hat tip to Bluestem for catching this gem.)

Effexor, also known as Venlafaxine, is approved for the treatment "of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder in adults." Its common side effects are very much in keeping with the world the House Republicans have striven to build: nausea, apathy, constipation, fatigue, vertigo, sexual dysfunction, sweating, memory loss, and - and I swear I am not making this up - "electric shock-like sensations also called 'brain zaps.'"

Its less common side effects are equally awesome in their appropriateness.


Oops! Poor GOP! They can't seem to get things right very often. As this case in point with the backwards flag. What? You say? What backwards flag?

Well, as reported on HuffPo, it seems that the Boner; he of the Party that complains about "flag pins" and "patriotism", does not understand the flag code and how our flag should be displayed:

http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q151/velveeta_jones/people/bonerbonestheflag.jpg


According to the code:
When displayed either horizontally or vertically against a wall, the union should be uppermost and to the flag's own right, that is, to the observer's left. When displayed in a window, the flag should be displayed in the same way, with the union or blue field to the left of the observer in the street.


Tsk, Tsk!

Velveeta is a firm believer in unity. And in that spirit, I think we should help our friends on the Right come up with a new slogan! Here's a few ideas:

GOP: We're the Good kind of Christians!

Reach out and touch a Republican!

GOP: Now with 3 black people!

GOP: Good Christians only; unless we need your votes in Florida or Ohio!

Republicans: Its our way or the war way!

GOP: We believe in a woman's right to choose: Kitchen or Bedroom?

Republicans: We are so pro marriage we do it over and over and over!

GOP: Its the Gay People, Stupid!

Republicans: Our pundits can shout louder.

Republicans support the troops. We don't play golf! But Wii golf doesn't count, does it? (Thanks to JD for that one!)

GOP: Poverty is for the poor!

The Republican Party: We love you before you're born and as you lay trying to die. In between you're on your own!

GOP: Embryo's before immigrants.

Republicans: Homeskooled!

GOP: Got Bootstraps?

Republicans: When it absolutely, positively has to be done; do it in the bathroom stall!

GOP: Black people are perplexing.

GOP: 100 Billion embryo's strong!

Republicans: We believe! And no amount of "facts" will change our minds.

GOP: We do fear!

Come on people! The GOP needs our help!

101 comments (Latest Comment: 05/19/2008 04:28:40 by livingonli)
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