Well I must say it was awfully nice of Bobber, Raine and the 4F staff, to send this blogger to China to report on the Olympics. Its dreadfully exciting, though I'm unsure as to why I was the chosen one, since Velveeta's "sports" interests tend to include only flower arranging and needlepoint. And despite my ex-husband, Root, desperate attempts to attract me to NASCAR and some vulgar conflagration called Ultimate Fighting Championship - all were a dismal failure.

But China! Beijing! City of ............ um............ er.............. ah.......... Lights? No, no, that's Paris. Well, anyway. Its a large city, filled with many busy people and tons of smog! Though I've heard that the smog situation is well under control, at least its not as bad since the strict government has cracked down on people driving.


I landed at Beijing Capital International Airport just after midnight and was taken to my hotel accommodations by a taxi driver who, curiously, did not say much. (Sadly, it seems that the owners of said blog must be strapped for money, because I am staying way outside the city limits in what can only be described as a rather run-down Youth Hostel. When I informed my driver that I was reporting on the Olympic Games he asked why I was staying so far away! Well, I am quickly trying to befriend the Germans and Danes that I'm sharing a room with. Though its odd, they seem unaware that the Olympics are even taking place this year).

I don’t suppose I’ll be able to see our pResident, George W Bush, or, as I like to call him, Wush - it seems simple, like the man - when he arrives in a few days to attend the opening ceremonies. In fact, I don't seem to have a ticket to the festivities. I'm sure a minor oversight by the 4F staff, and I’m confident a ticket will be at the "will call" window.

Anyway, Wush will be arriving next week, and as this AP article states:


Complex? Well that's an understatement!! I'd say its more like the relationship a whore has with her pimp - and if you consider that a "complex" relationship, then so be it.

But to continue:



Hahahahahahahahahahaha..............oh, I'm sorry. Was I laughing out loud? The mind reels! How long must we wait to learn that Wush has had these frank and candid discussions! Anyway, the "people" of China are more than likely internally pleading with him to have this frank and candid (does that seem redundant to anyone else) talk with their repressive government, asap.

Oh wait, the AP clears this up, a little bit:


Well, that’s weird. I wonder why he didn’t try this tact with Saddam? Another guy who had human rights problems and (supposedly) owned WMD’s.

Last week our very smart pResident was gearing up for this great event by inviting some of the 2008 United States Summer Olympic Team to the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington. And as you can see from this picture, he did not at all look like a lecherous old man:



When Wush is visiting his pals in China, he may as well leave his laptop back home with Pickles, as I had to do. Since, he won’t have access to many sites while there. Here’s a relatively short list of them: Amnesty International; China Digital Times; Chinese Human Rights Defenders; Committee to Protect Journalists; Dui Hua Foundation, (works for release of Chinese political prisoners); Freedom House (issues ratings of countries' freedoms); International Campaign for Tibet; and any sites or searches that include the words “human” and “rights” in them. Our own “Google” as well as other American owned search engines, is just fine with accommodating the Chinese Government in keeping this information out of the hands of the people.

I am very excited that next week I will be reporting on the Olympics, or, barring that, if the 4F staff did not see fit to find tickets to the games, I’ll report on the Chinese economy, as well as the many ways this Country continues to try to kill us with their toxins.

By the way, I can’t seem to find my return ticket home. Would I get that online?

Uh Oh.