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Grieving Freedom
Author: Raine    Date: 03/30/2020 12:56:42

I had a day mostly distracted, purposefully, from the sociopathological insane entity that is leading this country into a literal death-spiral.

I woke up this morning and read our loyal Tri-Sec's blog from yesterday. I have to say that for us, staying sheltered and going to the store when needed has not been a particularly hard thing to do. Bob already worked from home three days a week. I am grateful for that, as I am for the fact that we have always found ourselves doing things together.

I am trying not to be scared. It's tough. I miss being around our friends and even though we don't see them every week, the thought of knowing that we cannot is frustrating. It's the freedom that I miss.

That's what it is. I grieve the loss of freedom.

That's what this maladministration has done to our country with its mishandling of this disaster at the start. It's very difficult to accept that. A friend gave me this link the other day and while it didn't make everything better, it helped. Here are the first few answers in the interview:
HBR: People are feeling any number of things right now. Is it right to call some of what they’re feeling grief?

Kessler: Yes, and we’re feeling a number of different griefs. We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.

You said we’re feeling more than one kind of grief?

Yes, we’re also feeling anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is that feeling we get about what the future holds when we’re uncertain. Usually, it centers on death. We feel it when someone gets a dire diagnosis or when we have the normal thought that we’ll lose a parent someday. Anticipatory grief is also more broadly imagined futures. There is a storm coming. There’s something bad out there. With a virus, this kind of grief is so confusing for people. Our primitive mind knows something bad is happening, but you can’t see it. This breaks our sense of safety. We’re feeling that loss of safety. I don’t think we’ve collectively lost our sense of general safety like this. Individually or as smaller groups, people have felt this. But all together, this is new. We are grieving on a micro and a macro level.

What can individuals do to manage all this grief?

Understanding the stages of grief is a start. But whenever I talk about the stages of grief, I have to remind people that the stages aren’t linear and may not happen in this order. It’s not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world. There’s denial, which we say a lot of early on: This virus won’t affect us. There’s anger: You’re making me stay home and taking away my activities. There’s bargaining: Okay, if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right? There’s sadness: I don’t know when this will end. And finally there’s acceptance. This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed.

For me, it is hard to imagine that as USA citizens, we have it almost ingrained physically and psychologically that above all our spirits are free. Freedom is practically in the United States DNA, and factually in our constitution. We fought a revolution to gain it, and have been trying to expand those freedoms to be ever more inclusive since our founding days. I pray that this is temporary but for now this is happening. Our freedom has been taken away, aided and abetted by a bumbling moronic idiot that wants to be a dictator.

That's where I am this Monday morning.

and -- more than ever.



26 comments (Latest Comment: 03/30/2020 22:24:58 by TriSec)
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