Conversation with Caricatures
A dialogue with a Liberal, Conservative, and myself

(Something unrelated. But I have just been informed that Obama has one the nobel peace prize.)

Episode 01: Patriotism

Myself: Welcome one and all to Conversation with Caricatures. Here we discuss the issues through lenses so distorted you’d swear this wasn’t real. As always we are joined by Liberal and Conservative. Now, let’s start with Conservative, what does Patriotism mean to you?

Conservative: Patriotism is loving your country through thick and thin. Always believing it’s doing the right thing, and will always do the right thing.

M: That’s a nice senti-

C: Except of course when some lily-livered pansy is in charge and won’t even shoot a clipped winged bird, or a lawyer, take your pick.

M: Interesting…And you Liberal?

Liberal: Patriotism is keeping that country in check. To believe in a higher purpose and growing towards that. As well as following the will of the people.

M: That’s very nice as we-

L: And if it doesn’t take the path I believe I’ll just go out there and call some soldier a babykiller.

M: Well…That’s…uh…

C: Don’t talk about our brave men and women serving over-seas like that!

L: Oh please, you don’t even have the balls to serve!

C: At least I have the balls to fire a weapon pink-o Commie!

M: Now, calm down. It’s okay. We’re here to discuss our opinions in a civilized manner. To come to a reasonable con-

L & C: Shut up!

M: Ooookay. Well, I guess that’s all for now. Come back next week and maybe something will get done.

Episode 02: The Constitution

Myself: Welcome to another show. As always our two guests are here to discuss another central matter of our life here in the United States, the Constitution. As we all know this founding document was written nearly a decade after the colonies successfully rebelled from England in the late 18th century. Much of how we live our lives today is based on this masterful document. So our first guest Li-

Conservative: Just a few things before we start. The Constitution was written in 1776 which means the 17th century.

{silence}

Liberal: What an idiot.

M: Moving on. Liberal, what does this document mean to you?

L: Well, It’s a wonderful foundation for a country, but let’s face it. It’s old, outdated. I mean, some of the stuff isn’t even relevant anymore. Right to bear arms? Really? Who needs that anymore?

M: Well, that’s the Bill of Rights, while technically apart of the Constitution it was an afterthought.

L: See, exactly what I mean. Even those rich white racists knew they messed up and had to re-do their document of “peace”.

M: I, I have no comment.

C: Well I do!

M: Not now.

{silence}

M: Damn it. Fine, comment.

C: The Constitution is the life blood of this country. It should never be changed. Changing it would be the end of our country.

M: Very poignant.

C: Except for the no religion thing. It’s obvious that the Christian Founding fathers were forced into that by the Pinko-Commie Muslim groups which have been out to destroy this country since 1776!

M: Dear god.

{audible sobbing}

L: Come on you can’t possible believe all that crap. I mean really, it was just a bunch of rich white asshats who didn’t want to pay taxes. Nothing to put on a pedestal.

M: That’s! Not! True!

{more audible sobbing}

C: Come here and say that to my face.

L: You couldn’t take me fat man.

M: Tune in next week. Maybe things’ll be better then.