Happy Easter everyone! As you know, Easter is celebrated on a different Sunday every year in either April or May, depending on where the esteemed ceremonial cockroach, Toby, poops on the mock-up of the new calendar just before they are sent off to the printer. Easter represents the day when Our Lord and Savior and his imaginary large Rabbit, arose from their cave and delivered peeps and Cadbury eggs to all the white children of the world. And, it should be celebrated by going to church, wearing pastel colors and funny hats, being kind to your neighbors and then cooking and eating the legs of little baby sheep with mint jelly.
Perhaps because it’s Easter weekend there is not much going on in the news these past few days. Sure, there is that U.S. captain being held hostage by pirates and we all pray for his safe and speedy return, but Velveeta has no access to this story since the wonderful folks at 4 Freedoms Blog refuse to provide her with a large, well paid staff that could do research on such stories. Then, of course, there is the Lindsay Lohan/Samatha Ronson breakup story, but it’s
so over-covered that there really is just nothing much to see here.
And the Republicans are really busy with all their “tea-bagging” activities these days. I could never, NEVER cover this news nor condone such behaviors. What would the children think? I am just shocked. SHOCKED and DISGUSTED at these events, which I hear
are being held out of doors for the entire world to witness! Velveeta will have no part in these odious sexual perversions.
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