Miss Jones, as per your request, here are the excerpts from the books of George W. Bush, Laura Bush and Lynn Cheney. Our company is passing on the Dick Cheney book, as we find it too…. coarse. The Presidents book is going to have to have a complete and total re-write and we have hired several ghost-writers for him. As you can see from his “work” it is completely plagiarized. I’m sure you would expect that, but frankly, we were shocked. He had assured us that he was working hard on his memoirs.

Anywho, I hope this calls us even. I could get into a pile of trouble, should these leak out. I know I said some bad things about you once, but are we all forgiven?

Best,
Jen

Excerpts from “Ponderings of a War President"

I have worked hard all my life and my getting to be the Governator of the great state of Texas was no easy task. Once there, I had to make hard decisions every day. I remember one day when I had to consider a mans life or death. People said he’d raped a white woman and the white girl said so to.

I remember thinking to myself there is one way in the country in which all men are created equal – there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is a court. I’m no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and in the jury system – that is no ideal to me, it is a living, working reality. A court is only as sound as its jury, and a jury is only as sound as the men who make it up. In the name of God, do your duty.

And so, I had that man put to death.

********
When visiting France the President, Chirac, gave me a tour of some of Paris and he said to me as we crossed the river, “Look, this old whore, Paris, as she turns in bed, is very moving.” I looked out, beyond his heavy profile, which was grey – from fatigue and from the light of the sky above us. The river was swollen and yellow. Nothing moved on the river. Barges were tied up along the banks. The island of the city widened away from us, bearing the weight of the cathedral; beyond this, dimly, through speed and mist, one made out the individual roofs of Paris, their myriad, squat chimney stacks very beautiful and varicolored under the pearly sky.

“Yeah”, I said, “but we got to talk about Iraq”.

********

….. they say that I ignore science but that is not true. Its not that I ignore it, I just regret it. Happiness is a hard master, - particularly other people’s happiness. A much harder master, is one isn’t conditioned to to accept it unquestioningly, than truth. I’m interested in truth, I like science. But truth’s a menace, science is a public danger. As dangerous as it’s been beneficent. It has given us the stablest equilibrium in history. But we can’t allow science to undo its own good work. That’s why we so carefully limit the scope of its researches.


Excerpt from Laura Bush’s book “My Life with George”

….but I really don’t get bothered by what people think of me. What they say behind closed doors. I listen and I hear them. At times, I sit quietly and I can hear the talking as clear as day. Even when they are not around, I hear them. Sometimes I silently cry. But I am nothing if not stoic at all appearances.

Mostly they talk about “the accident” and they by way the spit out the word “accident” tells me they believe it was not. But I know the truth and no one else does. I tell myself over and over, “Its not your fault, honey. Don’t listen to the voices. Just ignore them. All of them. Some day, they will pay. It’ll be your time, honey........your time. OUR time.”

My inner voice always keeps me calm. That, and some pills that I am required to take for my health.

Except from Lynn Cheney’s book. “School Daze”

……….”Oh!” cried Felicia, as the hair on her arm began to tingle. “I never knew that you could do that with a spoon and an ice cube!” The more she pictured herself in the straps, the weaker her knees got! She began to think about what adventures she could get into with her roommate, Pilar! Soon, class would be over, and she would run to Pilar and tell her of her new found knowledge. But, would Pilar shun her as she had before?

Felicia didn’t know what was wrong with her. Her world had become Pilar, along with Lisa, Julia, Brittney, Sally, JoAnna, Isabella and the college dorm housekeeper, Sha’wanda.