You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

Families come in many forms. There is your nuclear family consisting of one (male) Dad, one (female) Mom and at least two children, one of each sex, and a pet or two. A few families combine child rearing and religion to an extreme that produces insanity like the Duggars and Jon & Kate! There should be some sort of law for this (separation of sex and religion?) but alas, there is not. Sometimes the family has only one parent, or there may be no children, but plenty of pets. Then there is what we call “alternative” families that may be made up of two Dads or two Moms.

Some families are so close that they will stick together no matter what tragedy befalls them, others will sue each other until one or more dies, and still others like to appear on Maury or Jerry Springer jumping up and down until at least one boob pops out or one “boob” punches another.

Many people have extended families that they stay in touch with. Still others consider their close friends their real family.

In some places family has an altogether different meaning as in: “Never disrespect the la famiglia, capisca? This is the kind of family that Dick Cheney fancies himself the leader of, by the way. With the entire CIA and other Federal agencies his own little army of thugs that will do whatever Don Cheney wants. And Don Cheney, he don’t have to tell nobody nuthin’. He keeps his mouth shut and he don’t answer to no “Congress” or whatevah. Congress can keep their mouth shut or they’ll sleep with the fishes like Luca Brasi.

Let’s not forget the cult families. Ah yes, where “be a family member” takes on a whole new meaning, as well as sexual lifestyle. The Family International, which was, and still is a child sex cult started by the now, thankfully dead, David Berg as Children of God. Yes, they are still around and collecting money as a “religion. Some ex-members who survived this horrible “family” try to remind people what the group really does. [Warning: not easy stuff to read].

True story, your own Velveeta was approached by a cult that currently goes by Osho or some other bizarre name. You may have heard of them as The Orange People or Sannyasins. Thankfully, I was to busy with booze and drugs, not too mention a hardcore monogamy problem so much so that I wouldn’t get involved in their little orgies and such. Also, I look dreadful in orange.

So, we see that family can take on extreme religious craziness, and I wonder, what would happen if you mix extreme religion with politicians? Hmm? Oh, wait, I don’t have to wonder, a Mr. Jeff Sharlet has provided us with the blockbuster read of the summer.



According to Sharlet:


Well, I certainly hope to see this story as a reality show. It would knock Jon and Kate plus Eight and Octomom right off the charts!