Do we have enough investigations going on at the moment? I'm a bit worried that there might be some Republicans that don't own a piece of the investigation pie; and they'll go home hungry.

Let's see, we have Benghazi-gate, IRS-gate, Umbrella-gate, AP-phone-gate, Not-calling-Boston-Bombers-"terrorists"-quick-enough-gate and of course we have the old standby's which still need attention: Birth Certificate-gate and Muslim-gate. Though technically it is still not yet illegal to actually be a Muslim, so...

But Velveeta is here to help! I'm a helper. Step right up Mr. Republican, I've got some stuff for you to investigate, oh boy, do I EVER.

Remember the election last year? Remember that "weather event" that took place in October really close to the election? It was called Hurricane Sandy and it devastated a state run by a republican governor with a weight problem! Not just a weight problem that precludes him from playing basketball, but a guy who just weeks before had spoken at the RNC supporting Paul Ryan and that other guy. A Governor that once accused Barack Obama of "absentee leadership in the Oval Office."

So, shortly after his speech at the RNC, we get this super storm. Doesn't this seem at all suspicious? Do you ever find it odd that a storm would travel so far up North? Hurricanes are the domain of trailer parks in Florida, Mississippi and Texas with occasional devastation in Louisiana, not New Jersey!

I submit to you that Obama has developed a "weather machine" similar to the one that Mikkos Cassidine developed on General Hospital. Powered by the worlds largest diamond the Ice Princess the machine could freeze the entire world, as it did one summer in Port Charles. Obama's invention, (certainly he didn't invent it himself - he's not that smart. Rather, he used money from crimes committed by the Black Libration Army to fund the invention overseas) could create super storms and that is exactly what he did! How else can you explain the Governors quick turn-around? One day he is saying things like:


Oh yeah. Obama was sittin' in the Oval Office and said, "Oh I'll show you some change you fat turd" and he turned on his evil weather machine and set it in motion!

Look how Wiki describes the event: (bold is mine)

Obama spares the Bahamas. Why? Black people? Possibly.

Weeks later, Governor Christie is groveling at the President's feet and saying he doesn't give a damn if Mitt comes to inspect NJ. Wow. Come on Republicans, this is a serious, serious crime. People died! People lost homes and business! People are still suffering! You MUST investigate.

Still need proof? 'Hurricane Sandy' also means Anarchy US in red. NJ has a Republican Governor (RED) and what is more anarchist than a storm that indiscriminately destroys? Okay, to be fair, 'Hurricane Sandy' also spells nursery China ad and errancy anus hid but pay no attention to those. He will use the machine again! Probably with wild fires in the West, more hurricanes in the south red states, and Tornados in in mid-west red states, and even some flooding in central states. But, I'm only guessing.

There is a conspiracy in the White House and it's not about umbrellas or organic gardening, though neither of those should be put on the back burner, it's about an evil Muslim who has control of a the weather.


Obama looks down on the Republican Gov of NJ, marveling at how well his invention worked.

Get to work on these "gates" and spend all your time and energy bringing him down. Don't worry about us, we'll get along. Somehow.