Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the tower
All the domestics were working, they have no real power.

The Trump Stockings™ were hung by the window up high
knowing that St. Nick would not dare pass us by.
The Trump kids were nestled all snug in huge beds
While visions of dollar signs danced by their heads;
And Melania in her lingerie, and I on my throne
had just sent out tweets direct from my phone,
When out on the street way, way down below
Such a scene! Unbelievable! What a big show!
Away to the window I flew like a flash, 
and sent out a tweet – “Obama's an ASS”
The neon it glittered on the pavement for peasants
who toiled below awaiting my presence;
When what to my intelligent eyes did appear, 
But a dark green and gold '84 Cavalier
 With a little old driver so lively and white, 
I knew in a moment that I would be alright. 
More loudly than Alex Jones he shouted and screamed, 
He jumped and he yelled and he seemed very steamed.
"USA USA” “Build the Wall” and “She's a crook” 
“Lock her up” “Media sucks” with a fist that he shook;
To the center of the street, to the top of the gate, 
He yelled through his window, it really was great 
As soon as in range I could see as he drove by, 
a sign on the back that declared “Libs should die”
As I drew in my head and yelled at the maid, 
I told her point blank that she wouldn't get paid.
When all of a sudden I heard such a fuss
And he burst through the door, the wily ol' cuss;
He rolled and he laughed and he wagged his large finger
Clapping me on the shoulder and said he couldn't linger;
He was dressed in some khaki's with shiny black boots,
He was shirtless on top - he really loathed suits.
 His nipples and pec's glistened with sweat and oil;
Then he told me in detail how he'd annihilated my foil;
With hacked emails, fake news and his the ultimate dagger,
Angry white people with way too much swagger!
A bundle of goodies he had in his pockets, 
He said all he needed was codes to our rockets;
I've won the election and was his good puppet 
I should go out on tour and tell Dems they could suck-it!
His eyes—they did shine! his dimples, how merry! 
He said I'd be Prez and to fire John Kerry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
He said go on out and give a great show.
I said that's what I'm good at, I've got really big words,
He smiled and he snickered and mumbled “what  turds”
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head 
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; 
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, 
Filling the stockings with contracts and another big perk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose, 
He went off to give Melanie a rose. 
Then he sprang to his jet and gave his team a stern warning,
Saying America soon will be in immense mourning.