Sarah Palin, you betta watch your motherfuckin’ rug rat poppin’ ass- it’s on now. I am the pit-bull and I don’t need no fuckin’ lipstick. With my eyes blindfolded, the gold hoops off my ears, and my jimmy choo knockoffs exchanged for good steel-toed boots, I could beat your ass down - woman to woman.

For those of you who don’t know me, I grew up and lived most of my adult life in government projects in Harlem; we were not on welfare, my parents would have rather starved then accept any help, but we probably should have been. My mother’s improperly treated mental illness forced me to be in the position of cook, housecleaner and caretaker by the age 9. For daily survival, I relied on the free public school lunches at PS 125 to be able to eat. And for after school we might be lucky enough to have a few community outreach programs available - for me Dance Theatre of Harlem - that created and inspired hope and the possibility of a decent future.

So, when I heard Sarah Palin’s speech I physically got chest pains - having already been angered by the earlier speech of Rudy Giuliani and his poisonous mocking of community organizers, I found myself in the uncomfortable position of wanting to punch somebody -really badly. But then I started thinking about who would be a better vice president; this “Hockey Mom” or, a struggling single mother that the Republican’s smugly refer to as a “Welfare Mom”. So here we go:

First, what is a Hockey Mom? No really, growing up in the projects I have never seen a hockey rink, and I don’t think I am alone here. We considered ourselves lucky if we had a net on the rim of the basketball hoop that was drilled into the hard asphalt pavement and surrounded by chain link fence; we didn’t even dare to dream of a hockey rink!

How is this Hockey Governor Mom different then a “Welfare Mom” – let’s see… 5 kids with questionable dads and at least one unexpected grandkid on the way, perhaps one or more with “special needs” – OK maybe here they are similar, but that is where the similarities end.

This Hockey Governor Mom has a fancy house and a chef. Well, she had a chef. Apparently she fired the chef! Believe me, no “Welfare Mom” would fire a chef were she lucky enough to be provided one! What mother with any sense, would fire a chef whose whole point is to free up her time in order for her to better do her job? Instead Gov. Palin’s bright idea was to fire the chef and cook for her own kids on a Governors salary? I assume she also had the conveniences of a nanny, maid and gardener, not to mention full family health & prescription benefits, use of a car (with a driver) and paid vacation. For this she is nominated to run for Vice President for a party that thinks women are either whores or sainted mothers, nothing in between.

While our Welfare Mom probably lives in a rat infested rental and does not make enough money to cover food, much less lipstick. Her Health Care consists of visits to the emergency room, which is manned with overtired, stretched to breaking point doctors and nurses. She suffers the highest infant death rate in the industrialized world along with the highest rates of HIV, heart disease, cancer, diabetes and other stress related diseases. She seemingly lacks a good education, has no opportunities for advancement and is often treated by people like Sarah Palin as a drug addicted ‘Ho who can’t stop popping out babies.

What qualifications are needed to be VP?
Our Hockey Mom seems to have the following experiences in Transportation, Healthcare, Education, Art and Culture, and Finances:

Organizing car pool and snacks

Out shouting other hockey Moms at the games

Banning books at the local library

Beauty Queen bitchiness.

Mayor of a small town, which she left in debt, even after she raised taxes.

Summarizing the qualifications of our Welfare Mom to be VP:
Financial Stretching the rice and beans and Twinkies budget to keep everyone fed and clothed through the month. Keep water, lights, and gas turned on; even if it means using “barter” method which could in turn, lead to another mouth to feed. Even hocking everything from the vacuum cleaner to the 1985 vintage TV, knowing you aren’t going to have the money in 90 days to get them back. But the kids come first – kids are our future and its “country first” after all.

Education PHD in hard knocks. - keeps each child going to public school every day with the hope that their future will be touched by the promise of change.

Health Staying up nights in the bathroom creating steam trying to avoid another trip to the emergency room for the little one’s third asthma attack because you still are paying the bill down from the last two trips.

Homeland Security Keeping your kids alive until age 18, away from drugs and alcohol and gangs and violence. Budgeting for the annual bullet-riddled window replacements (cardboard until the landlord finally gives in to your constant lobbying efforts to create a livable environment).

Art & Culture Fighting to get your children enrolled in YWCA, Boys & Girls Clubs, or any community program that can offer that promise of change. Improving yourself and investing in your children’s future by making use each week of the little local library. Despite its’ bleak offerings of any new or profound literature – it remains the last bastion of after school safety and where dreams of a possible future are born.

International Diplomacy and the Global War on Terrorism First of all knowing there are no white hats or black hats only a sharp shade of grey that needs to be nuanced and negotiated everyday. Being able to walk down the street in peace because you know who are the street cops that haven’t been swallowed by the street. Knowing that even though Mrs. Steele’s youngest son is wishing you a good morning sweetly, he is probably the one who stole money out of your purse to chase his addiction to “foreign oil”, and though the old woman rolling around on the ground in a cardboard box with matted hair actually does deserve that dollar you just gave her because she finally lost her mind from advanced AIDS. Subtle diplomacy.

So who is really better able to serve as Vice President, the Hockey/Governor Mom, with her hateful, nasty belittling of the heart of American culture –community organizers (isn’t George Washington one of our first community organizers. I hear Harriet Tubman wasn’t too bad either), or, a so called “Welfare Mom”, a woman with a deep understanding of heart wrenching life disappointments coupled with the determination of a mother lioness willing to fight for not only her embattled family but to stand together with others to better her community.

I vote for the Welfare Mom, how about you?