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Happy Mothers Day
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 05/13/2018 17:09:55

Let's celebrate all the wonderful Mom's. By that, I mean all the Mom's in the Trump family. And with a special nod to Mrs. Mike Pence aka "mother".

Melanie Trump, Mother to Barron Von Trump, is a former model who sacrificed her body to have a child, and is currently a "working" mother focused on curing our nation of bullying with her "Be Best" campaign. Bless her, because she immigrated to this country and was accepted due to her looks, her English isn't so well. But we adore her anyway. She's a great Mother to Baron giving him all the all the things in gold that a growing child could ever needs. He already has 4 cars and he's only 12. His 24 karat gold plated robot plays the latest games with him on his gold plated Xbox One. According to the servants he is a "lazy boy with all the urgency of a snail on a sloth trudging through bubble gum". These same servants also claim that little Barron Von Trump has a hair trigger temper and is prone to having the help flogged at his leisure. But these are just hearsay. I'm sure they are not true and one shouldn't speak ill of their betters. Though one housekeeper who wished to remain anonymous predicts that Baron will either be a ruthless slum landlord or a serial killer.

Ivana Trump is Mom to three of the President's kids, Don Jr., Eric and Ivanka. She was his first wife and also an immigrant who came to this country to marry a rich man. Her kids just adore her and I know they are showering her with love on this day. Though rumor has it that Don Jr., is a tad depressed today since the mother of his children has returned to her former life as a gang banger with her Latin King boyfriend.

Then there's mysterious wife and mother Marla Maples who didn't even keep her Trump name! Marla is celebrating this day with her daughter Tiffany. Tiffany is Donald's least favorite child; she is desperately seeking his attention by attempting to work as a "pop singer." Her music has been likened to being as painful as a visit to a dentist for a root canal sans novocaine.

Well, we wish all these hard working Mom's the day they deserve; one in which their every need is catered to and they are rewarded with all their desires. Pretty much like every other day.


 
 

2 comments (Latest Comment: 05/14/2018 13:12:22 by BobR)
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Comment by AuntAzalea on 05/13/2018 17:34:42
I think the new greeting for mother’ Day should be “Be Best” .
So wishing everyone a day full of Be Best with a side of covfefe.

Comment by BobR on 05/14/2018 13:12:22
When it comes to tRump, it's Happy Motherfuckers Day