A letter to Conservatives:

Dear Michael, Rush, Sarah, Newt, Mtitt, John, "Bobby", et al:

Okay, so Velveeta will be the first to admit that she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but please.... I beg you, help me understand what the hell is going on here.

Back, way back before January 20, things were so easy to explain. We had a boob in the White House, so when some Republican said or did something totally stupid, we knew who it was and why. Even ya'll can agree with that.

But please explain these things that are happening now? Or, as my 22 year old friend asks, "WTF, dudes, WTF"?

Why? If Government is so damn bad why are you in it? Seriously, "Bobby" Jindal recently said, "The strength of America is not found in our government. It is found in the compassionate hearts and enterprising spirit of our citizens", echoing the words of his fellow conservatives all the way back to Reagan. So I ask you, why do you run? Government to big? Get out! Downsize yourselves.

Why? Your party has never been very good to minorities (perhaps save that one time in 1862 or so) so why have a black man take the helms of your party to decide its platforms and agendas. A man who wants to, um, "urbanize" your party. Yikes!

So why let members of your party get away with racist songs, cartoons, parodies, and out-right racism (see Ann Coulter for a prime example) then turn around and elect Michael Steele. AND on top of it, believe that its perfectly okay for a white woman (Michele Bachmann) and an overly privileged white man (Rush Limbaugh) to get up and say things like "you da man", "aiight", "give him [Jindal] some slumlove" and do things like gang signs a la Rush's sideways double fist pound over his heart. Sad. Just plain sad.

Why? Speaking of diversifying, while we all would love for you to welcome other cultures into your fold, or perhaps "flock" is a better word, why invite these guys to your conference? Youth for Western Civilization was a co-sponsor of CPAC, and one only has to view the name to understand what the group stands for. And alas, with about 2 seconds worth of research one could find this, from the Southern Poverty Law Center:


I am just stunned at the hypocrisy and hate and stupidity all wrapped into the current Conservative party. Sure, you've always had your nut-jobs, like James Dobson, who advices fathers to shower with their sons in order to prevent them from turning into homo's, but lately ya'll have gotten even more disorganized (to put it mildly).

It's almost as if you wanted ................. hey, wait just a minute! Is this your plan? You want to befuddle us so much that we turn into a bunch drooling idiots that continually pound our computers and car radios while listening to your hypocrisy, all while trying to figure out what the hell you're doing? You want us to turn into overly medicated imbeciles who will no longer cast a ballot! It’s BRILLIANT!! What a plan!

Well, I must say, it'll be quite the achievement if it works.

Good luck with your nefarious plan. I'm not sure its working though.

Best wishes and lots of love,

Velveeta.