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Some Musings on Marriage
Author: TriSec    Date: 04/04/2009 12:51:11

Good Morning!

Well, in case you missed it somehow, yesterday was Bob & Raine's first anniversary. (Bob's birthday, too!)

Looking back to last Saturday's blog, that ties in nicely with our human obsession with time; it's a life milestone worth celebrating and remembering.

This got me thinking about my own marriage....Mrs. TriSec and I took a different path than Bob and Raine. We first met in 1991, when we both worked for the same company a couple of desks away. That Christmas, we went to the company party together as a 'first date', and we still remember December 21 each year.

We became comfortable together, but never really moved towards "the big M" for the first few years. It was my brother's wedding in 1994 that finally upped the ante; we finally decided to get married a year later, but it wasn't until 1996 that we sealed the deal.

So....this July 14, we'll be celebrating our lucky 13th year of marriage. (Lace, textiles, or furs....pm me for our address! )



Marriage is an interesting thing. Two people decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together, then go to some kind of official empowered by the state and tell the rest of the world.

But there's the rub, isn't it? As Bob mentioned yesterday, he and Raine eloped and went before a Justice of the Peace in a civil ceremony. This made them legal in the eyes of the law....but according to any church, they're living in sin.

Mrs. TriSec and I took the opposite tack; I even went so far as to go to adult confirmation classes so we could get married in the Catholic Church by a priest with a full mass. But if the law didn't recognize this ceremony, we'd be unmarried as far as the government is concerned.

Every wedding you've ever seen on TV has the official saying some variation of the phrase..."By the powers vested in my by the State of X....I now pronounce you man and wife."

You know that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts was the first state to "legalize" same-sex marriage. Connecticut and California followed suit, and now the Vermont legislature is busily drumming up support to override a promised veto by the Republican governor. (Unfortunately, we all know what happened in California.)

But perhaps most stunning of all, Iowa legalized same-sex marriage this week.

Here's where the rubber meets the road. Iowa is conservative, heartland, religious. If this state can recognize a universal right for all people, perhaps there is hope for the United States after all.

Alas, like the term "Global Warming", we on the left have allowed our opponents to define the terms for us. (It should have been called "Global Climate Change"). I think it's pretty easy to tell what side of the debate someone stands on....do they call it "Gay Marriage"? There's your answer.

I remember something that was said by one of our members on that other message board. "I fell in love with a person, not their anatomy." I wish I could remember who said it, but shouldn't that be the definition of marriage?

My solution would be easy; the government should get out of the marriage business entirely. Those that would follow the traditional "one man, one woman" marriage can get married in the church of their choice without worrying about getting a marriage license. Those that would marry who they love without worryng about 'their anatomy' can get a certificate from a civil servant, and both couples would be entitled to exactly the same rights and priviledges.

Simple, right?

I am still waiting for someone on the religious right to tell me why their belief system should be the law of the land...and what they plan on doing with those that have different beliefs.




 

12 comments (Latest Comment: 04/05/2009 01:35:10 by m-hadley)
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Comment by velveeta jones on 04/04/2009 14:00:40
Great post TriSec. And, I considered myself married, even if my Government does not. Sadly though, many of the benefits given to my hetero married friends isn't given to us.



And, I believe 13 is neither lace nor textile, rather it is: Latex. Small error, no worries..... we'll be sure to send you lots of fun stuff!!





Comment by livingonli on 04/04/2009 16:11:53
Good day everyone. I felt like I needed to sleep in this morning after what happened yesterday. Soon I will check my blood sugar numbers and then get something to eat.

Comment by TriSec on 04/04/2009 16:14:33
Liv....if you ever come up to Boston, you might want to see if your insurance would cover a consult or visit to the Joslin Clinic. Papa TriSec has been insulin-dependent since 1957...he recently got his 50-year medal and is still going strong.



At the very least, take a look around their website. There must be something helpful for you there.





Comment by livingonli on 04/04/2009 18:12:57
Bloggie is awfully quiet today.

Comment by m-hadley on 04/04/2009 18:28:34
Heya Livin, Tri and VJ,

Nice post and excellent solution to a "problem" whose answer has always seemed obvious to me - just play fair. More on fairness tomorrow... Hope you all are having a great Saturday - are you working later Liv or do you finally have a day off?

Cheers,

mfaye & :peace:

Comment by livingonli on 04/04/2009 18:40:49
mfaye, I am working 4-12 tonight. My next day off is Monday.

Comment by AuntAzalea on 04/04/2009 19:25:43
Quote by livingonli:

Good day everyone. I felt like I needed to sleep in this morning after what happened yesterday. Soon I will check my blood sugar numbers and then get something to eat.






Take it easy today- I am sending lots of healthy vibes!

Comment by AuntAzalea on 04/04/2009 19:30:16
Great blog Trisec, interesting thoughts on marriage. I also like your idea on Global Climate Change- makes more sense.

Comment by Mondobubba on 04/04/2009 21:02:55
Hello all. I am amazed by the appalling amount of mucus my body has produced in the past few days. Liters of the stuff I would think.

Comment by BobR on 04/04/2009 21:34:10
Thanks for such an honest and thoughtful blog post, Tri. I particularly like the last sentence. So simple, yet it says so much.

Comment by BobR on 04/04/2009 21:37:07
Quote by livingonli:

Bloggie is awfully quiet today.


We rolled out of bed an went straight to the High Museum. The 1st Saturday of every month is free to those living in Fulton County (which we do), and it was our last chance to see the terra cotta soldiers exhibit from Xian, China. We also saw the Louvre exhibit (3rd in the series) and then went for lunch.



We're just now back home and catching up on the intertubes...

Comment by m-hadley on 04/05/2009 01:35:10
Quote by livingonli:

mfaye, I am working 4-12 tonight. My next day off is Monday.




Take good care of yourself, Liv,

I worry, er, think about you often :D

Cheers,

mfaye :hug: