They Know Not What They Do (obviously) Author: clintsterDate:10/08/2009 12:10:15
When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, it seemed that there were a couple of things you could rely on: conservatives would always support the US no matter what, and religious conservatives would always refer to the King James Version of the Bible as the "authentic" version of that book. The Moral Majority was pretty much founded on these two principles. And they succeeded in intimidating lawmakers, packing school boards and generally making people long for the good old days of Roger Williams and William Penn.
Recently, however, the religious and patriotic Right have seen their respective stars diminish as liberals and moderates have attempted to take back the moral and patriotic high ground. In the aftermath of the 2008 election, it even appears to have made conservatives go a little... what's the word I'm looking for? Ohhhhh yes: crazy! Witness the following examples and see for yourself
EXAMPLE 1: The recent Olympic bid. To be frank, there was at best an outside chance that the 2016 summer Olympics were coming to Chicago. The US has hosted the Games eight times in its modern history; four in the past 30 years alone. However, when the US has had a horse in the race for an Olympic bid, Americans of all political persuasions have at least offered a modicum of moral support for the games. As the deadline for the Games approached, the conservative noise machine began to scream about how awful it would be if Chicago got the bid. Some tried to couch it in economic terms, but others let their naked hatred of Barack Obama shine through. And when it was finally announced that Chicago would not get the games, the conservative world seemed to light up with glee.
So now conservatives, who went apoplectic if a progressive even suggested that America was on the wrong side of an issue, find it okay to cheer and high-five one another when the US loses an Olympic bid. Stay classy, guys.
EXAMPLE 2: The Conservative Bible project. For decades now, I have heard from conservative Christians that the King James Version of the Bible is the only true translation. I have even heard some people make the amazing claim that the KJV is "God's official word", negating the fact that there were many translations before it, even in English.
Well, now it appears that the KJV is no longer fitting for some conservatives. Last week, the folks who brought us Conservapedia (the online encyclopedia for those who think Wikipedia has it out for the Right) announced it was launching a project to rework the Bible to make it more conservative. According to the website introduction, "As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies..." their views of the world. Apparently, the Bible that has been sued for generations to justify banning dancing, harassing gays and condone racism is just not conservative enough anymore.
This is not to say that they don't have a right to do this. People have modified and retranslated the Bible for centuries, to suit their needs. Thomas Jefferson himself edited the New Testament down in an effort to make Jesus more human. However, for a conservative group to say that the B-I-B-L-E is no longer good enough for them is a bit of a head-scratcher. Regardless, it's still not quite as confusing as
EXAMPLE 3: This.
When I first saw this posted on Wonkette, I thought it was a joke. When I clicked on the link, however, I was proven wrong. Dead wrong. This painting, "One Nation Under God" by Jon McNaughton, looks like the perfect storm of conservative patriotism and rightie fundamentalism. Jesus, who appears to be wearing a robe with the Tree of Gondor stitched into it, is presenting the constitution to a boy, while historical figures surround Him and archetypes kneel before him. In case you are confused, the artist even has a handy interactive guide to the painting, explaining all the details (like all great artists do).
You'll notice that the "good" archetypes (a Marine, a woman with a handicapped baby, an immigrant "seeing the light") are all at Jesus' right hand (the good one), and all the "bad" people (college professor, liberal news reporter, Hollywood actor) are all to his left. The guy doing the double facepalm closest to us? That's a Supreme Court justice weeping over the "wrong" decisions made over the past 230 years (mouse over them, I dares ya). Behind Jesus, are many historic figures who have his back, including Abraham Lincoln (doing his best Al Jolson), Thomas Paine (misspelled "Payne", and apparently put in despite the fact that he was at BEST agnostic), and an African-American soldier.
The story here is, originally this was supposed to be Martin Luther King Jr., but the family of MLK declined to let the artist use his image in the painting, so he made him a generic soldier who just happens to be named "King". The entire interactive map is a wonder to behold. From the WTF pronouncement that some of the fifty stars in his painting are "brighter than others", to the bizarre disclaimer regarding the money-grubbing lawyer, to this - the barely masked hatred he has for college professors:
In any event, "In God We Trust" has resulted in an epic thread on FARK, and has inspired a parody on another website. The artist has even taken note of his increase in traffic, saying that he has been under attack from "liberal blogs". Maybe so, but as long as he doesn't make a bid for the Olympics or try to change the Bible, he'll always have interest from art buyers who think Thomas Kinkade is just a bit too high-falutin'.
Time to renounce God again, methinks. Or at least his followers.
I talk to the 'big guy' directly, I don't need no steenkin' leaders to tell me how to do it and what to believe.
Comment bywickedpam on 10/08/2009 13:30:23
That picture is scary!
Comment byclintster on 10/08/2009 13:33:09
Quote by wickedpam:
That picture is scary!
Check out the parody link I posted. It takes the edge off.
Comment byScoopster on 10/08/2009 13:39:56
Mornin' all.. ugh great morning so far! Alarm went off, got slapped off, and got out of bed an hour late.
And if that wasn't enough, we got this idiot alternate bus driver who for the past month has completely blown by the last stop on the afternoon run despite three of us telling him repeatedly to stop every single week. And this morning he decides he's gonna give us a tour of the new highway bridge instead of going on the normal route. Ugh I need to report this guy because he apparently has NO idea what he's doing.
Comment bywickedpam on 10/08/2009 14:02:17
Quote by clintster:
Quote by wickedpam:
That picture is scary!
Check out the parody link I posted. It takes the edge off.
LOL that's awesome.. the inclusion of the poker dogs is a nice touch.
What? Poker dogs? Where?
Next to Dora the Explora
that's Dora? it looks like one of those kids you see on the Send us a dollar or we'll kill this kid programs.
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 15:59:17
So, Random is watching Ghost Whisperer (do not ask why)
And while he has seen just about every cliche in the ghost stories, and even in sitcoms, it's not as bad as he thought...though i do question when a 6 year old is the best actor in a scene.
Comment bylivingonli on 10/08/2009 16:07:25
So will Jesus start playing poker with the dogs
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 16:12:11
Quote by livingonli:
So will Jesus start playing poker with the dogs
only if their's a 100 dollar cap on the pot.
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 17:08:46
Jesus Christ the amount of Halloween Fan-service costumes they have her wearing...no wonder I can't stop watching...I feel so ashamed.
LOL that's awesome.. the inclusion of the poker dogs is a nice touch.
What? Poker dogs? Where?
Next to Dora the Explora
Man I need to devote more time to the painting.
Mondo has conflated the link to Wonkette with the link Random and Clinster supplied. Mondo was not paying proper attention to the various threads and apologizes for his error.
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 17:29:23
I can only say...Who here wants to kick Politico in the ass.
Comment bylivingonli on 10/08/2009 17:43:40
Quote by Random:
I can only say...Who here wants to kick Politico in the ass.
Me! Me!
Jumps up and down raising both hands
Comment byScoopster on 10/08/2009 18:18:41
Ugh...
Comment byTriSec on 10/08/2009 18:23:09
Passing through again. About to head out to pick up young Javi and his cello.
Getting ready for my town hall forum this evening. (League of Women Voters)
"Vote for me! You wouldn't want anything to happen to this cute little kitten, would you?"
Comment byTriSec on 10/08/2009 18:24:33
Quote by Scoopster:
Ugh...
I got you covered!
Comment byvelveeta jones on 10/08/2009 18:43:09
Wow! Just popping on late today. Great Blog today. This rather um, unique piece of "art" (unique is the nicest word I can come up with at the moment) is, er, entertaining to say the least. Wow. Just.... wow.
On another completely unrelated subject: anyone know where I can get a "Palin 2012" bumper sticker? She's got my vote to run.
:D
Comment byTriSec on 10/08/2009 19:19:00
I have just been informed by Mrs. TriSec that a certain Mr. Cruise and a Ms. Diaz are doing a 'shoot' in a rented house mere blocks from where I am sitting. (Near Javi's school.)
No word on what the film is, or if it's worth anyone's time.
Comment byMondobubba on 10/08/2009 20:16:18
Quote by TriSec:
I have just been informed by Mrs. TriSec that a certain Mr. Cruise and a Ms. Diaz are doing a 'shoot' in a rented house mere blocks from where I am sitting. (Near Javi's school.)
No word on what the film is, or if it's worth anyone's time.
According to the handy Internet Movie Database, that picture is called "Wichita." The plot summery says:
An action-comedy that begins when a small-town woman (Diaz) has a chance encounter with a mysterious man (Cruise). He is either the man of her dreams or, perhaps ... her nightmares. Amid shifting allegiances and unexpected betrayals, they are swept up in a whirlwind of globe-hopping adventure and world-changing secrets. "
Since it is a Tom Cruise vehicle, it will most likely suck the low hanging testicle of Equus africanus asinus.
Comment byTriSec on 10/08/2009 20:48:11
Mmm...Hollywood has an interesting definition of "small town" then, as we are a city of 80,000 on the outskirts of the vast megalopolis that is the Northeast Corridor.
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 21:05:47
Here i was expecting people being pissed at the story Politico had today
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 21:07:18
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by TriSec:
I have just been informed by Mrs. TriSec that a certain Mr. Cruise and a Ms. Diaz are doing a 'shoot' in a rented house mere blocks from where I am sitting. (Near Javi's school.)
No word on what the film is, or if it's worth anyone's time.
According to the handy Internet Movie Database, that picture is called "Wichita." The plot summery says:
An action-comedy that begins when a small-town woman (Diaz) has a chance encounter with a mysterious man (Cruise). He is either the man of her dreams or, perhaps ... her nightmares. Amid shifting allegiances and unexpected betrayals, they are swept up in a whirlwind of globe-hopping adventure and world-changing secrets. "
Since it is a Tom Cruise vehicle, it will most likely suck the low hanging testicle of Equus africanus asinus.
now that's unfair. Cruise may have a lot of fucked up shit in his real life, but he's a good actor.
Comment byMondobubba on 10/08/2009 21:44:26
Quote by Random:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by TriSec:
I have just been informed by Mrs. TriSec that a certain Mr. Cruise and a Ms. Diaz are doing a 'shoot' in a rented house mere blocks from where I am sitting. (Near Javi's school.)
No word on what the film is, or if it's worth anyone's time.
According to the handy Internet Movie Database, that picture is called "Wichita." The plot summery says:
An action-comedy that begins when a small-town woman (Diaz) has a chance encounter with a mysterious man (Cruise). He is either the man of her dreams or, perhaps ... her nightmares. Amid shifting allegiances and unexpected betrayals, they are swept up in a whirlwind of globe-hopping adventure and world-changing secrets. "
Since it is a Tom Cruise vehicle, it will most likely suck the low hanging testicle of Equus africanus asinus.
now that's unfair. Cruise may have a lot of fucked up shit in his real life, but he's a good actor.
That young Random is a matter of opinion. I did like him in supporting role in "Tropic Thunder," he was good in "Color of Money" as well. Otherwise
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 22:32:59
No comment to Mondo, Rather not get into one of those discussions, especially since I'm willing putting myself into one for tomorrows post. It's kind of schizophrenic in my head right now...
But I hope It's funny, so anyone who thinks I'm not all that funny probably shouldn't read my attempt at political satire tomorrow...just...warning you.
Comment byRandom on 10/08/2009 23:22:31
Random just read about how the rapture was last month...huh...
Comment byTriSec on 10/09/2009 01:36:24
Evening, folks! I survived my first debate...the nice lady from the League of Women Voters thought I was particularly articulate and well-informed for a newcomer. (go figure.)
I did not have to kill any kittens.
So now I'm relaxing with a favorite drink of the Generals in the Pacific so long ago...bourbon & water.
"May you walk in the ashes of Tokyo." - Gen. Buckner
Comment bytrojanrabbit on 10/09/2009 01:49:10
How long will it be until there are posts about the Sox suckething?