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CPAC? What's that?
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 02/21/2010 14:59:21

Morning my fellow bloggers. Velveeta waking up with a severe hangover from the CPAC party. WOW! WHAT a party!! Please let me know if anyone finds my bra.

Now, on to the festivities. I vaguely remember Glenn Beck and his famous GB Chalk Board. Does this thing travel with him? Why doesn't he use a dry erase board? Beck was talking about being drunk and big tents. Yes, this reminds me of a party I once went to. It was Fashion Week in New York and the champagne was flowing freely and so were the crowd of fashionistas and wanna-bes and I think that I may have had a tryst with Calvin Klein and/or Tom Ford and Zac Posen, or, some drag queens that resembled them. Anyway, I digress.



CPAC stands for Conservative Partiers that Accept Cash, or something along those lines. The people that attended here were all dressed quite nicely and ate a LOT of food. Of course they were white, save but 1 or 2. And Christian. And deeply concerned about Big Government, Food, Alcohol, and Killing Libs, pretty much in that order.

Many people had tables set up with T-Shirts, buttons and information on potential Presidential runs for 2012 or just to sell stuff to those drunk enough to put on a t-shirt that said: "Volunteer Liberal Posse Sheriff Deputy" or "Proud Member of the AMA (Angry Mob America)" (actual shirts)

Anyway, seems I cannot report much, as I ended up drinking some sort of drink called "Patriot Tea" thinking it was going to be my much loved Sweet Tea, but it was altogether a different animal.

Here is what I can report:

Ron Paul won the straw poll. I found this out as I was waking up from under a conference table before passing out again. I thought it was a joke, but appears to be true. Some pollster did ask me at some point during the night, and I believe I screamed "Danica Patrick, ya bitches" before being escorted to the door. I don't know if my vote counted.

Jason Mattera, spokesman for the Young America Foundation, joked about the president's drug use, saying that unlike Obama, "our notion of freedom doesn't consist of snorting cocaine."

Cheney predicted that Obama will be a "one term President". I wonder how he can predict the future? Hmm. Oh well.

Dick Armey, the former lawmaker and corporate lobbyist who organized many Tea Party protests, gave a no-holds-barred tirade against Obama, calling him "intellectually shallow," "romantic" and "self-indulgent" and "the most incompetent president, perhaps, in our lifetime."

Um.

That was the remark that really started my drinking binge. Speaking of which.... I need to lay on the Chaise Lounge with a cold compress on my head. Have a good day everyone.

 

4 comments (Latest Comment: 02/21/2010 18:33:57 by livingonli)
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Comment by Raine on 02/21/2010 16:32:52
CPAC stands for Conservative Partiers that Accept Cash <--- that!

Comment by BobR on 02/21/2010 17:15:32
CPAC - Corporate Pompous Ass Collective.

Comment by m-hadley on 02/21/2010 18:28:39
Quote by Raine:

CPAC stands for Conservative Partiers that Accept Cash <--- that!




Me too - I love it!!! mfaye

Comment by livingonli on 02/21/2010 18:33:57
I think if I was there I would need to get completely shitfaced between all the teleprompter jokes read off teleprompters and that they seem to have forgotten all the shit W took during his "youthful indiscretions" which lasted until he was 45. The stench of hypocrisy from the right is very foul indeed.