Velveeta has been asked to blog today about the end of civilization and is quite happy to oblige. In fact, Velveeta is going to let ya’ll in on a little bitty secret. Well you men anyway. Admittedly, its been really tough to keep the plot going for so long, men were bound to figure it out - some of the brighter ones must have sensed that something was going on.

But this won’t be the end of civilization as much as the end of boorish civilization. The end of NASCAR and beer, the beginning of Gardening parties and tea. The end of jet plane travel, where one gets to their destination by speed, and the beginning of luxurious full-service train travel, where one arrives by class and style. The end of Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions and Victoria’s Secret fashion show, the beginning of pool-boys and servants who can give massages at a moments notice.

Frankly our plans were starting to reveal themselves of late. It was George W. Bush - male robot # 46355-88-01-OIL/CHIMP that gave away our plan. But at some point we began to loose control of him. His code went awry and he began spewing nonsense like: "Listen, I want to thank leaders of the - in the faith - faith-based and community-based community for being here." or "At any rate, we look forward to working with you. Let me put it another way: We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you."

46355-88-01-OIL/CHIMP aka (Male George W Bush) was definitely screwing up the works and making us put our diabolical plan into order much faster. Despite our spy (agent "Karl Rove") trying her best to control things - the situation continues to collapse.


While our plan of total world domination began centuries ago it really took shape during the early part of the last century - what we jokingly referred to as the "suffrage movement". This movement was meant to gain control of men's sympathies, really it was only a test for future takeovers, but it seemed like so much fun, the ladies just kept up the ruse. Unfortunately, they were actually given "the right" to vote and now we have to keep up the show - dutifully trudging out to the polls and pretending to cast a ballot.

It was during this time that we began the NWO - which many silly men believe stands for "New World Order" - some mysterious plot of rich people and evil corporations - really it means "New Women's Order" - our plan to make men even more obsolete than they already are. We still laugh about those “suffrage” days at our monthly meetings at the YWCA or the OB/Gyn clinics. Ah, good times.......

Men can look directly into the eyes of their wives, mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends and daughters, and see nothing but innocence and beauty. Go ahead. Look right now. She will never betray her secret - her plans, OUR plans! And our plans are very close to being complete! The NWO will soon be fulfilled!!

Whoops, be right back - Velveeta's cat is wanting fresh kitty food. Sweet kitty-cat! She's adorable.

OK, I'm back, where was I............. ah yes, our NWO.

The real work of the de-evolution of men came when we had our puppet scientists creating ways to make themselves utterly useless! It’s twisted when you think about it. We had men creating ways to take themselves OUT of the birthing process. Starting around the 1970's when we had them invent in vitro fertilization and later with Micro Electro Mechanical Systems (MEMS) - basically an egg on a micro-chip! Brilliant!
Soon, these implanted micro-chips will used in the females to control birth, monitor hormone levels, release drugs when needed, regulate our cycles, and much more. Once we get pregnant they will even monitor the development of the female fetus.

Female, you say? Well, as you've probably read we are putting an end to the 'Y' chromosome. Frankly, we don't know why we kept it around for so long as it was a mutation in the first place. And the beauty of our plan is: we don't even have to help it's demise. Seems the Y chromosome is making itself extinct all on its own. Surely its part of Goddess' plan.

The Y chromosome has stopped a process called recombination - basically trading bad or weak DNA with other chromosomes. Without recombination the Y chromosome only has one way to rid itself of any flaws - by terminating its mutated genes. Shutting down the genes means the protein-coding part of the chromosome has become smaller and smaller. A Y chromosome today only has 27 protein making genes, compared to the X which has thousands! Let the extinction begin! Bwahhhahhahahhhahaha.

Sorry, be right back.............. kitty needs her litter changed.

Anyway, our current scientific advances are escalating at a great pace. Ever so much faster than our original plan of simply dumbing down men to the point of killing themselves off. For this phase of the plan, we had invented things that were amusing to us and deadly for our prey. For example:

The La-Z-Boy chair. Seriously, this was funny. Just watching their far-away ecstatic expressions when reclining was priceless. We used to jokingly call it “the La-Z-borgasm”

Football. This was a practical joke developed by more than a few women over the ages, each trying to one up the other. It has evolved into a "sport" wherein men wear extremely tight clothing and knock each other silly, often to the point of injury. Other males watch the athletes and exclaim how "macho" the whole thing is! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Oh.......my, that is a knee-slapper. (See also: Boxing).

Beer. Beer kills the brain cells fast! Men have done really, stupid things and made horribly bad decisions on beer. Often they are last heard exclaiming ".......Hey watch this........" followed by a loud thud, crash, squeal or explosion of some kind.

Video games.The Wii has been an especially humorous invention. Grown men think they are getting exercise while pretending to bowl. Hah!

And now we are close to the final chapter, once our fearless leader, agent “HRC” finishes some rather un-ladylike mudslinging we shall be rkjiie‘io080........oe
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Sorry, Velveeta's cat has walked across the keyboard. She wants attention. Let her stare, I'll just ignore her.

Anyway, our plan has recently taken a huge leap, with our eminent new leader, Hillary Clinton. We are, in a word, unstoppable. Once Madam Clinton takes control of the White Hou........

Ahhhhh. hairball, hairball! Sorry, gotta run. Must attend to kitty.