About Us
Mission Statement
Rules of Conduct
 
Name:
Pswd:
Remember Me
Register
 

11 Things for Ron Paul
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 06/10/2012 13:13:57

No?
Is he really giving up? Is there really only one clown in the clown car now?
This is such disappointing news, frankly I think he should disown that Rand Paul. Take him right out of the will and get back into the race. And herewith, I present some ideas for him to get some media attention, since that seemed to be his problem; no one was paying attention to him anymore. He is like that sad little man that lives up the street that you suspect goes through the trash bins in the neighborhood while everyone is asleep.

So here ya go Ron.

11 Things Ron Paul Can Do to Stay In The Race


1. Pay us.
Sure some people won't need incentive but others will need a push, say between $1,500 - $25,000. Put me on the high end. I'd pull the lever for 25K at this point, sure.

2. Begin a reality show death contest for VP. Nothing spells ratings and media attention like an unscripted death match that has been highly edited for ultimate viewing. Can't wait to see if Jeb Bush leaves Michelle Bachmann hanging off that bridge or takes the high road and rescues her.

3. Get arrested with Lindsay Lohan while clubbing out in L.A.

4. Go on Dr. Drew and tell the world that you are going into rehab for your drug and sex addiction and that Lindsay is coming with you. Vow that you and she will be rehabilitated and that she will win an Oscar during your second term as President.

5. Make the internet free. Ban ISP's from charging to connect to the internet ever. Free porn for everyone!

6. Start a cult. Say that an Angel directed your metal detector to a buried box where you found an old, old, book that only you can translate and directs you to start an entirely new religion. The book is what gave you the idea for free internet.

7. Have a huge concert featuring everyone from Hologram Lynyrd Skynyd to Skrillex, Trace Atkins, Kate Bush, Sam Bush, Ghostface Killa, what's left of the Grafeful Dead, Ziggy Marley, Barry Manilow, Nicki Minaj, Back Street Boys, Beach Boys, Jay-Z, Taylor Swift and a special appearance of Lil Wayne doing a duet with Cindi Lauper. Make the concert free. Pass out drugs.

8. Get caught in a bathroom stall with Larry Craig and Mitt Romney.

9. Design a superhero outfit and go around the country saving kittens and rescuing people.

10. Convince everyone that this entire campaign has been an elaborate performance art piece, done without any government grants, and that you need the entire country to complete the art piece. We'll all be famous!

11. Become a nudist. Start the Ayn Rand Nudist Colony and Tiki Bar. Convince the American people that this is really what Ayn was preaching and that this is what real freedom is all about.

You've got my number Ron, call me, I want to help. Really. I do.
 

11 comments (Latest Comment: 06/11/2012 14:36:59 by Will in Chicago)
   Perma Link

Share This!

Furl it!
Spurl
NewsVine
Reddit
Technorati