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I'm Sorry, so Sorry.
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 07/22/2012 14:47:04

Well, it seems I have to apologize for the shootings in Colorado the other day. Not the guy who did it, the "joker" guy. And, despite the fact that this a-hole who called himself the Joker died his hair red which was wrong. According to my nerd friends, everyone knows that the Joker had green hair due to a chemical accident when he jumped into a vat of toxic sludge to escape the Batman during a crime being committed at a chemical plant while he was Jack, aka The Red Hood. Even though the crime itself was just a ruse for the mob to kill Jack, aka The Red Hood. Duh!

Anyway, according to the ultra Christian American Family Association I have been informed, in a loving way of course, that my being liberal (I'm actually pretty moderate) and gay (um, not really... but whatever) am to blame for the shooting. Not just me mind you, also the following people and groups: all homo's - this goes without saying - the ACLU, liberal churches, the education system, Obama of course, actually any politicians that change public policy, the internets (yes, he actually said 'internets'. Oh the un-ironic irony of it!), Hollywood and lest we forget, the big bad liberal media.

Here is what he said on the radio show AFA Today. Not sure where you can hear this show, but if I find out I'll be sure to break that button on my radio dial.

In the community there were community standards that reflected biblical principles, whether people knew it or not, the standard in the community was based on Scripture. In that short period of time, roughly forty years, we have seen such a transformation in values in our communities, whether it's rural or whether it's big city. I have to think that all of this, whether it's the Hollywood movies, whether it's what we see on the internets, whether it's liberal bias in the media, whether it's our politicians changing public policy, I think all of those somehow have fit together — and I have to say also churches who are leaving the authority of Scripture and losing their fear of God — all of those things have seem to have come together to give us these kinds of incidents.

I think the sources of this is multifaceted but you can put it all I think under the heading of rebellion to God, a rejection of the God of the Bible. ... We've been dealing Teddy and I know the AFA Journal has been dealing with denominations that no longer believe in the God of the Bible, they no longer believe that Jesus is the only way of salvation, they teach that God is OK with homosexuality, this is just increasing more and more. It is mankind shaking its fist at the authority of God.


So, I cannot speak for the other groups, but for homosexuals everywhere let me take this opportunity to apologize for the Colorado shooting spree which left at least 12 people dead. Let us also take this opportunity to apologize for the following things that we undoubtedly caused:

911
The Oklahoma bombing
The uni-bomber
Waco
Challenger disaster
the 1993 WTC bombing
Pan Am flight 103
JFK assassination
MLKjr assassination
Bombing of Pearl Harbor
The Hindenberg
The Depression of 1932
The Dust Bowl
The Triangle Shirtwaist fire
The War of Northern Aggression
The Trail of Tears
The Sinking of the Lusitania
The Holocaust
The Assassination of James Garfield
World Word 1
The Great Chicago Fire
Slavery
The Kardashians

I'm sure I missed a few things. But this is a start; my friends and I have a long way to go to redeem ourselves.

Oh, almost forgot, Britney Spears' music! Wow. That is tragic.
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My prayers go out to those that lost loved ones in this current tragedy.

http://www.militarybrotherhood.com.au/images/animated_candle.gif

 

11 comments (Latest Comment: 07/23/2012 01:56:07 by Will in Chicago)
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