It appears that Mitt Romney doesn't want to be President after all. Why else would he pick a Draconian Munster child as his Sarah Palin pick? Perhaps, you say, he wants to ensure his street cred, such as it is, with the Tea Party? But by picking Ryan he may actually be losing Florida, unless they cheat, again. I mean, Florida is known for its old people as much as its sunshine and spring break debauchery, and any old person that has not been taken by senility and has read the Ryan budget doctrine would have a hard time punching the chad for this guy.
Yes, we can only concur that Mr. Howell has had his fun and now wants to retreat back to his quiet millionaire life, jetting from one mansion to the next, rooting for his fancy dancing horse, and attending galas where no one will dare offer him a stale, home-baked, convenience store cookie. He doesn't want to be President. He even said as much when introducing Eddie Munster.
Standing on the bow of the SS Minnow amongst a sea of pasty white people, Romney uttered what he truly felt inside
Join me now in welcoming the NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, PAUL RYAN
Translation: "I'm tired, this is getting to be like actual work. The kind of work where you have to read things and understand them on your own. I want to go back to sitting behind a desk and firing the underlings. This is exhausting!"
For days we all wandered around, theorizing and fretting over who his pick would be. Poor Chris Matthews had to have a drool-pan tied to his neck on recent telecasts due to his over frothing. Wolf Blitzter spent a day in the ER having a barium enema to see what was clogging him up so badly; seemed he'd ingested a large amount of sawdust and glue, a darkly secret nervous habit he picked up during his reporting on 9-11 events.
But Bat Boy? Seriously? Many of us worried it would be someone that might actually threaten Obama's re-election. At least make it worth betting on. Marco Rubio which would have given him his TP street cred, probably a win in Florida including the Cuban vote, and might have helped with the non-Cuban Hispanic vote in other states. The fact that he has not been on the political stage for very long was his downfall, but he is a good speaker and fierce fighter. Condi Rice which would have been a super smart choice, because she is super smart, not to mention of the female variety and even black. Chris Christie at first glance would have seemed an easy target for Dems, but he is well liked by Republicans and many Teabaggers. And he's as tough as Dick Cheney in that nothing you say to him, or about him seems to fluster him. He would have been a worthy opponent; a debate between him and Joe Biden would not be missed by anyone still breathing. Speaking of Darth Vader, a few people even mentioned the idea of having another Cheney presidency, er, vice presidency. Liz Cheney, loved by neocons, tough as nails and some have claimed she might indeed be a woman.
Still, there were choices that would have made Romney's intentions of resigning clearer. Imagine for a moment, let your mind wander..... President Mitt Romney is taken terminally ill by a bad oyster and whisked away to some cushy 5 star hospital for the best medical care in the world. Air Force Two returns to Washington DC with our Vice President who was just sworn-in whilst jetting in from assisting an exorcism on a family member on the Gulf Coast. Out steps our new President. He strides up to the podium, tilts his head slightly to the right and in a somewhat sing-songy condescending way says, "Hellow, I'm Bobby Jindal".
Yes, Mittens wants to go home and relax. Count his money. Fire some maids.Strip off those God awful denim pants that the common folk wear. Let's help him achieve his desire. Sign up to help the black Muslim Kenyan get re-elected.