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Forcibly Taking Away History
Author: Raine    Date: 08/23/2012 13:01:46

What is rape and date rape?

Rape is sex you don't agree to, including forcing a body part or object into your vagina, rectum (bottom), or mouth. Date rape is when you are raped by someone you know, like a boyfriend. Both are crimes. Rape is not about sex. it is an act of power by the rapist and it is always wrong.

Date rape drugs, which often have no smell or taste, can be given to you without you knowing at parties or in a club, especially where alcohol is served. Alcohol can make you less aware of danger and make you less able to think clearly and resist sexual assault. If you are given date rape drugs, you may not be able to say "no" to unwanted sex and you may not be able to clearly remember what happened.

Remember: even if you were drinking, it is NOT your fault.
The above is from GirlsHealth.gov The site is owned and maintained by the Office on Women's Health in the Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It's an official government site geared towards girls and young women between the ages 10 to 16 to "learn about health, growing up, and issues they may face. Girlshealth.gov promotes healthy and positive behaviors in girls, giving them reliable and useful health information in a fun, easy-to-understand way. The website also provides information to parents and educators to help them teach girls about healthy living."

Date Rape doesn't stop once a person turns 17. It's important that we have sites like this out there for the younger people in our nation. Date rape is Rape. It no less forceable or legitimate form of rape. Here are a few things about rape.
Myth: Rape is only committed by strangers in dark alleys and parking lots.
Fact: As many as 84 percent of women are raped by someone they know, such as friends, family or an acquaintance.

Myth: If a woman is raped, then she must have deserved it, especially if she agreed to go to the man's room or wore sexy clothing.
Fact: No one deserves to be raped. Being in a man's room or wearing revealing clothing does not mean a woman has agreed to have sex.

Myth: Women who don't physically fight back haven't been raped.
Fact: If a woman did not or could not consent to having sex, it is considered rape. Forcing a woman to have sex against her will, whether she physically fights back or not, is rape, plain and simple.
There are a lot more Myths and facts there. Here is another fact-- Not all women who are raped are quite mature enough to understand that they actually were raped. They aren't all over the age of 18. They may be female, but that doesn't automatically make them knowledgeable of what rape actually is.

Rape is sex you don't agree to, including forcing a body part or object into your vagina, rectum (bottom), or mouth.


Here are some more statistics:
For every 1,000 women attending college, there will be 35 incidents of rape in a given academic year.
51.8 percent of rapes occur after midnight.
62 percent of completed rapes occur by classmates or friends.
16 percent of male students who committed rape, and 10 percent of those who attempted rape, did so with at least one other attacker.
57 percent of rapes occur while out on a date.
Women are 10 times more likely than men to be victims of rape or sexual assault.

The GOP has been attempting to redefine what rape is. "Legitimate", "forceable" are a few terms that we have seen tossed around the past few days. There is a definite idea that some rapes are more serious than others according to people like Paul Ryan. People like him believe abortion access should only be if the life of the pregnant women is in danger-- people like Paul Ryan like to say the word mother-- except, they aren't-- they are pregnant. In the eyes of some men, if a rape isn't forceable, a woman should not have access to abortion should she become pregnant. Rape and incest are not a good enough reason for them to allow a woman to have access to an abortion. To them, Date rape isn't even a legitimate rape because often times, it's not forceful rape in their view. A 13 year old girl who may not know what sex is gets raped by a neighbor, possibly one she trusted -- and it is not longer really a rape. In the meantime we have the federal government saying it is. How do we teach our young women with such conflicting messages?

In other words, if a woman was raped by an acquaintance, that rape didn't really happen. What kind of message does this send to our nations youth? What type of message does it send when we tell women : IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT only to find out that now it suddenly IS their fault because they were not "forcibly" raped?

It sends the message that their history is no longer legitimate in the eyes of other people. Imagine that for a minute. Read this person's story
On a rainy night, whose events I'd suppressed for years until hearing a report about date rape on NPR brought it back.

Following a big exam, my resident advisor (RA) treated his rugby friends and me to a beer at a neighborhood roadhouse. After we returned to the dorm and said our goodnights, there was a knock at my door. The rugby team captain asked if he could sleep on my roommate's vacant bed, since it would be such a rainy walk up campus.

I still don't know why I let him in. I was not drunk; I remember every minute of the next hour. I said no, he said yes. I struggled; he was the rugby player. When he had finished raping me, he went back to his dorm in the rain. I remember him calling the next day to 'see how I was' I remember hearing people laughing in the background.

He was the friend of my RA, someone I respected. It didn't make sense. I told no one. I stayed in my nightgown the whole next day.

For years I thought that by letting the guy in, I was somehow complicit in the crime.
According to Paul Ryan and Todd Akin, that rape was not legitimate or forceable enough.

I'm glad you have read this far.....

I've been thinking a lot about this. I am horrified and astounded that these people would put the burden of rape back on women, as if it is our fault. I'm angry. It is personal for me; I am a rape survivor. I knew my attacker. For a period of time, I too thought I was complicit. According to the GOP, my rape never happened. That means my recovery, my education, my knowledge of what happened to me in 1986 didn't really happen. That is my history, and I am proud of my history, warts and all. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, and I am not a victim anymore. I am stronger because of what I unfortunately went through. Given a choice, I would rather have chosen to be strong without being raped. This is who I am. I went to Planned Parenthood and got the help I needed after I was raped. It changed my life, in many ways for the better. I have chosen to take my experiences to advocate for others that may have gone through what I did, or to prevent it from happening to people in my life.

The thing is, you know people who have been raped. They may not be telling you for whatever reason they choose. The least of these reasons should be shame. I don't want people to be told that what happened to them really didn't happen. That is cruel. It also can be deadly.

I resent the Republican party for trying to erase my history and the history of every woman that has ever been raped. How we choose to go forward should be our choice, not defined by a radical ideology that I would call rape deniers. Don't let them do that to us.

Don't let them take away my history. Thank you for letting me share it.


and
Raine

 

 

 
 
 

91 comments (Latest Comment: 08/24/2012 00:55:13 by BobR)
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