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MITT-lection Sunday!
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 11/04/2012 13:49:12

GOOD MORNING dear readers! It's a beautiful day and I overslept, so we'll just do a steam of conscious blog. Though I feel as if I must respond to Mr. TriSec's writing of yesterday. Having my "Designs by Jimmy" tin foil hat squarely on my head, I know that Mitt is the one that will heal this wounded country.

First, he is of course, a Christian, unlike our current one. Comrade Obama doesn't even go to church unless there is a chance of a photo op! He'd rather hang out with his Hollywood pals smoking LSD and attending Orgies and Katy Perry concerts.

Sure, Gov. Rmoney is a Mormon, but they believe in Jesus Christ. They just believe that Jesus lives in a 6 bed/5bath home in a gated community in Missouri. (Rumor has it that Jesus gives really great Christmas bonus' to the illegals tending his lawn). Morons are just like regular Christians except they have a hint of Sci-Fi mixed into their beliefs; somewhat like Scientologists without the gayness.

Here are some reasons that even the most radical of Left Wing nut jobs should vote for Mitt:

He's got Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan has those steely blue eyes; blue like the color of a flame, blue like ocean. He can be your "50 Shades of Gray" all night long with those long fingers and bulging sinewy biceps.

Mitt has a great plan to fix our economy and create jobs on DAY ONE! He's not telling us his plans because they are so awesome that someone might steal the amazing idea! (China perhaps)?

Rmoney will overturn Obamacare and give us the phone number to the insurance company that best suits our needs. This will save Billions of dollars and reduce our deficit starting day one.

Speaking of our 16 Trillion deficit the our current Kenyan dictator left us with, Mitt plans to start fixing this as soon as he takes office. Gone will be PBS which will take our deficit down to 15.9999998 Trillion! (By mathematically rounding whole numbers the GOP way, that will reduce our deficit by 30% right off the bat).

Mitt will immediately appoint 2 new Supreme Court judges so that some important decisions can be made without all the long, drawn out "back and forth" that these cases usually have. It's time for Washington to work! And our Supreme court spends way too much time talking about the problem instead of fixing it. We'll have 2 new judges by the end of his first day in office. Now that's action!

Also on day one in office, Mitt will get the Keystone XL project up and running. By the end of January, gas will be going straight into your car at night while you sleep. Because of this, gas prices will go back down to a reasonable $0.55/gallon in most states.

Speaking of states, it's time that states stand up on there own and stop asking for federal handouts. Mitt understands this; he was a Governor after all. If your a state in a flood zone - Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, New York, Maine, Delaware, New Jersey, North and South Carolina, Iowa, Wisconsin, Louisiana, parts of Texas and New Mexico, Maryland, Connecticut, Georgia, Rhode Island, Michigan, Illinois, or a state prone to Earthquakes (see list above, plus) California, Utah, Nevada, Kansas, Arizona, then you really should be figuring out how to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Get to work and stop being a mooch. This will really cut the deficit once we don't have to pay for everyone else's problems. Because a hurricane in Florida is not a problem for America, it's a problem for Florida.

Jobs. As mentioned Mitt will get this country back to work. Again, he doesn't want to give too much detail because some democrat might steal it. And even though Mitt is very concerned for the working class of this country, he still has to be wary. I mean, plans like this aren't something that one can put a patent on. One of his goals his to get people back into school to train for better jobs. He has a brilliant suggestion to start: ask your Dad for money to go back to school.Isn't that a great idea? Why, only a business man of his acumen would have such a genius idea.

Something he'll do on day one when he takes office is get rid of Planned Parenthood so that women can stop worrying about birth control. Really, this is the man's job. Ladies, join me in the salon and let's not worry our pretty little heads about this. Am I right?

You can see how hard Mitt Rmoney is working. He is flying from one place to another, collecting cans of beans and old used clothes for those that need life saving care! He is a compassionate man who loves animals and self tanning and has a hot, manly running mate and a lot of great idea's to fix our country. Give him a chance, won't you?
 

19 comments (Latest Comment: 11/04/2012 21:01:35 by livingonli)
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