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Family Hour!
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 05/31/2015 13:48:03

I once mentioned a family called the Duggars in a blog post back in 2aught8 or so. Back then, they were "stars" of a TV show called 17 Kids and Counting; now they have 37 kids thereabouts. All with names that start with the letter 'J'.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about let me sum it up for ya:

This guy named Jim Bob (not kidding) found himself a mail order Stepford wife named Michelle and they were married after a very short period of holding hands. Jim Bob and Michelle are fanatically devout Christians who apparently read a different Bible than the rest of us because they believe that birth control can cause miscarriages and women should be subservient in all matters. All. They are part of a type of Christianity called "Quiverfull" which is just code for "I don't want to wear a condom". They want the world filled with {white} babies and a woman should be pregnant until her lady parts completely fall out of her overburdened vagina. Michelle had one child every 15 months or so.

I believe they get there name "Quiverfull" from a passage in the old Testament:
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate

See, here's the problem with this thinking. The old Testament is filled with old laws that just don't make sense in todays world. Back when this was written, there was hardly anyone walking on the Earth! Probably less than 500,000 people! If you bumped into someone you were probably like "Hey!! Hows it going, what's new, tell me everything, NO, EVERYTHING that you've done, like EVER!" So few in fact, that even if you saw someone injured from a clan that you were enemies with, you'd stop and help them because, well, you need each other to survive - thus securing you a morality story in the Bible. Heck, there's dinosaurs all around you; you needed each other! So, it made sense to procreate all over the place.

But we did pretty good in that area. Between fucking up the planet and procreating we humans have excelled like nobodies business. We don't really need anymore humans. That's not to say we can't have some, but lets put a cap on it people! I mean, 19 is just greedy.

The Duggars not only make babies like pros, they also like to teach us heathens about morality via there TV show. How to homeschool, how to "date" - chaperoned with no touching whatsoever (see: side hugging), how to dress and how to hate gay and transgender people. Gay men people are pedophiles, transgender people are pedophiles with a clear mission of getting into bathrooms to attack, and lesbians are feminists. Feminists are women who spell woman with a 'y' and hate all men. They will attempt to take over the world through Hillary and trample the few remaining rights that men have. (There's a men's rights movement afoot to remedy that however).

So, it stands to reason that Jim Bob and Michelle's oldest 'J' kid went on a mission to save humanity from the gays and the feminists by going to work with an organization that teaches the world to hate Gays and women who speak called The Family Research Council. The FRC is tax deductible. Yep. You can donate to them to spread fear and hatred and get a tax write-off whilst doing so!

Sadly, Josh Duggar had to step down from his high paying mission because of the "mistakes" he made when he was younger. Seems he couldn't keep his hands to himself - which is, I suppose, why he's not blind - and just had to reach out and touch someone else. Those someones ended up being some of his sisters because, well, who else is he around? Look, if you have 20 something kids one of them is bound to be messed up somehow. Hey, at least he's not Gay!

TLC which makes the highly rated show finally took 88 Kids and Counting off the air but really, really didn't want to. It's okay though, they've already found another family to replace that clan and they are considering doing a spinoff of one of the 'J' kids who's not Josh. And, TLC is not hurting for good quality TV shows like the Honey Boo-Boo family which documents child neglect and celebrates teen pregnancy and eating road kill. (Not kidding).



TLC which used to stand for The Learning Channel but now stands for "EWWWW, There's Gross People Dumbing down my already Dumb TV"

To sum up: the repugnant Duggar family will keep doing what they're doing until vaginas fail and TLC will keep you from worrying about your health, finances, you and your kids futures and the planet. Yeah, fuck all that. Lets make babbles and dress them in Kim Kardashian designer diapers.

The Duggar family brood will give us 1 pedophile (done) 1 serial killer, and 1 Gay person. Guess which one the Duggars will be ashamed of?

4 comments (Latest Comment: 06/01/2015 16:39:37 by AuntAzalea)
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