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Twelve Angry Men
Author: BobR    Date: 06/17/2015 13:08:22

Okay, so it's actually 11 men and 1 woman. Regardless, the clown car got yet another passenger yesterday with the announcement by professional narcissist Donald Trump that he is running for the Republican presidential nomination. It's gonna be yuuuUUUUuuuge. Of course - that's just the snark. He's already upheld the time-honored Republican candidate tradition of trying to appropriate music without asking permission from artists who just don't like them.

So if we now have an even dozen, who are the rest? Let's recap...

Rick Perry: He's hoping to get to the White House before he ends up in the Big House. Ooops. It's a race to the bottom!

Jeb!: So embarrassed by his last name, he left it off his campaign logo. Of all the snark relating to this, my favorite is that it looks like a satirical musical put on by the South Park guys. Also embarrassing: He listed himself as Hispanic on his voter registration form.

Lindsey Graham: This self-hating closet-case with a thing for men in uniform addressed the pressing "issue" of being unmarried by stating he'd have rotating first ladies. I say make his secret lover president, and Lindsey can be first lady.

George Pataki: who? Seriously - does anyone outside of NY know anything about this guy? Sadly, he's probably the most sane one in the bunch.

Rick Santorum: Last time around he was a real contender and won several states. Now - well... he's in the bottom... of the "pack"... oh just google it

Mike Huckabee: Mr. Moral America supports a child molester. Make that an incestuous child molester.

Ben Carson: psst - he's black. Forget the old south.

Carli Fiorino: she is SO yesterday... just like HP

Marco Rubio: Waterboy has some financial problems. If he can't balance his own personal budget, how well is he going to do with the nation?

Rand Paul: Riding on your father's rep will only get you so far, especially when you're a serial plagiarist. Does he have anything original to offer? No.

Ted Cruz: No one seems to like him. Every person I know who skews conservative hates him. He also seems to have problems being truthful. Also - if birthers were honest about their misgivings, they would dismiss him as unqualified, rather than suffer their cognitive dissonance.

Waiting in line to squeeze into the car are two more with legal difficulties:

Scott Walker: He's currently being investigated for election illegalities. No, you can't pardon yourself if elected.

Chris Christie: With "BridgeGate" looming over him, he may want to focus his attention on getting a good lawyer.

So that's where we are now - and it's still over 7 months until the first primary. They might want to get a bigger car.

40 comments (Latest Comment: 06/17/2015 20:04:08 by Raine)
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