Twenty Years Author: TriSecDate:07/16/2016 11:34:08
Twenty years ago this morning, I was waking up in the City by the Bay. You saw some stuff earlier this week on the book of face; Mrs. TriSec and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage this week. Our honeymoon choice was the fabulous San Francisco, and to this day it remains my only visit to the West Coast.
It's one of those things that actually boggles my mind. On our actual anniversary (Bastille day), I was here at the computer, and she was sitting on the couch watching the news, and I randomly asked "How did we manage to pull this off?"
We've actually been together 25 years - going back to December of 1991. It was quite a different world then - George H.W. Bush was still President! You'll note it took about 4 years to decide maybe this is a "thing". In those five years, my brother got married and had his first child, and I recall one of my friends getting married, divorced, and on to a second wife before Mrs. TriSec and I decided to make it official. A good number of our friends now (including my own brother) are onto their second pairing, and my own parents weren't even married twenty years.
Twenty years is a long time - and looking back over it, we've been through a lot of things, most of which are among the factors that drive couples apart. In loose chronological order---we started with infertility. We weren't married 3 years when that diagnosis came. You know the odyssey we went through to wind up with Javier. Mrs. TriSec quitting work to be a stay-at-home mom led to our next thing - bankruptcy. In retrospect, that was actually no big deal. Then the great recession hit. I think the realest crisis was here; I had a job opportunity that would have saved us, but it required relocation. You'll note I'm still in Waltham. I almost wasn't. But that too passed. My major medical issue in 2012 was significant to me, but there was no real chance that anything would happen to our union by that point.
So it's true; that which doesn't destroy you makes you stronger. Without much additional detail, I can also say we're living proof that "opposites attract" - look that up online and there's our picture as a textbook example.
I've always performed a little exercise in my head when we tear a page off the calendar every January. Especially as we all age, I ponder who might not be sitting around the table next year. I'm at the point now where I must include my elderly shut-in mother among that list. Looking back over the wedding photos recently, the number of folks that are no longer with us - it's a sobering reminder of our own mortality.
Time is our relentless master, to which we all must succumb.