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Twas the Night!!! MAGA Edition
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 12/24/2017 14:57:30

Oh dear readers! I have had the HONOR of having the President, Donald J. Trump help me with this Christmas poem! He was headed down to Florida and stopped by to check in on me and when I told him that I wrote a Christmas poem every year, based on the famous "Twas the Night before..." he insisted that that he take part!

So, I present to you this years poem co-authored by President Donald J. Trump!

(I must note that at first it seemed as if he didn't understand the patter, the tone, and the scheme of the material. But he is the smartest man in the world - and the leader of the world - so I'm sure it's perfect. Maybe I've been doing it wrong all this time).

Twas the Night Before CHRISTMAS VACATION AT MY WORLD CLASS RESORT


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS IS OVER;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would FIRE POCAHONTAS!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

SPEAKING OF CHILDREN, HOW GREAT IS MY DAUGHTER IVANKA?

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down SHE'S A KNOCKOUT,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I SAID FROM THE BEGINNING THAT ROY MOORE WOULDN’T WIN WHICH IS WHY I SUPPORTED LUTHER STRANGE. THE VIRGINIA REPUBLICAN LOST BECAUSE HE WASN’T A “TRUMPER” 


The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

AND THE STOCK MARKET IS A RECORD HIGH THANKS TO ME,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

THEY SHOULD HOLD A PARADE IN MY HONOR,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

THE RUSSIA PROBE IS FAKE. MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE 
IT’S A COUP BY THE FBI, MANY PEOPLE.

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
YOU KNOW, COMEY! AND McCABE! AND NOW JAMES BAKER WHO JUST GOT REASSIGNED! NOW MUELLER WITH HIS WITCH HUNT!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

THEY WON’T FOCUS ON CROOKED H,

AND HER 33,000 DELETED EMAILS;

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

THEY WERE HAPPY BECAUSE HOUSING
SALES WERE SO GREAT.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished LITTLE ROCKET MAN

WONT BE GETTING ANYTHING; EVERYONE AGREES,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

AND THOSE U.N. COUNTRIES THAT DON’T SUPPORT 
US MOVING OUR EMBASSY TO J WILL BE SORRY;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

THE FAKE NEWS CONTINUES TO IGNORE MY GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

He was chubby and plump, OUR NEW TAX PLAN,

WILL PUT AN END TO THE DISASTEROUS O-CARE;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

IT'S THE GREATEST TAX PLAN WITHOUT A DOUBT, BELIEVE ME;

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

NO PRESIDENT HAS EVER DONE THIS, EVER;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, WATCH FOX AND FRIENDS,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!


 
 

5 comments (Latest Comment: 12/24/2017 18:34:29 by AuntAzalea)
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