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The Girl that Keeps on Giving
Author: velveeta jones
Date: 08/02/2009 13:12:17
There once was a girl from Wasilla,
who was plainer than plain ol’ vanilla.
But once up on the stage
fancied herself all the rage,
and created a goddamn Godzilla!
Oh Sarah! How do I love thee; let me count the ways:
I love thee for thine snarkiness. Who, but a woman of your intelligence can be so patriotic and at the same time, so insulting one of our countries most cherished freedoms all in one sentence? “[To the media] So, how 'bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin' things up”?
I love thee for continually being on the wrong side of things. i.e. Hunting wolf from the air. Oh, that’s fair.
I love thee for thine extravagant fashion sense, callously paid for by the American peoples hard-earned tax dollars, a cause célèbre for you. And that you find no irony in that.
I love thee for thine real “reality” show that you provide us with. Your continued commitment to quality entertainment knows no bounds. Kudos!
I love thee for the names that you have burdened your offspring with. Its hard for parents these days to come up with new and inventive ways to embarrass children, but you are a role model in that area. Not only have you scarred them for life with your public speeches, you have ensured their future angst by saddling them with names that no one else in the world would have! (“No really, I’m not that Bristol Palin,” will never work at college).
But wait! We thought we’d lost you! Our favorite TV show…. cancelled. But oh! Aren’t you the clever sneaky one? Just when we were wanting more – you gave.
Rumors swirl that there is a divorce. Rumors that land has been bought in Montana and that you plan on moving the family, sans Toddddd, to Montana. Oh, I cannot wait to hear more. Must know. When is the next episode?
According to this absolutely not reputable blog there has been a affair or even TWO!
Oh Sarah! Now I can add another reason why I love thee: If this is true, then I love thee for being a member of the party that preaches morality while engaging in moral turpitude behind our backs. Often.
So the big question now is: Will Sarah run in 2012? Oh, but we can only pray that she does.
I know one thing we can count on, if she ends up living in Montana and she’s high enough in the mountains there, she’ll be able to keep her eye out on the Republicans mortal enemy: France.
There once was a girl from Wasilla
whose voice got shriller and shriller.
“It’s the Media!” she cried
with Todd by her side;
who wasn’t her number one driller!
who was plainer than plain ol’ vanilla.
But once up on the stage
fancied herself all the rage,
and created a goddamn Godzilla!
Oh Sarah! How do I love thee; let me count the ways:
I love thee for thine snarkiness. Who, but a woman of your intelligence can be so patriotic and at the same time, so insulting one of our countries most cherished freedoms all in one sentence? “[To the media] So, how 'bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin' things up”?
I love thee for continually being on the wrong side of things. i.e. Hunting wolf from the air. Oh, that’s fair.
I love thee for thine extravagant fashion sense, callously paid for by the American peoples hard-earned tax dollars, a cause célèbre for you. And that you find no irony in that.
I love thee for thine real “reality” show that you provide us with. Your continued commitment to quality entertainment knows no bounds. Kudos!
I love thee for the names that you have burdened your offspring with. Its hard for parents these days to come up with new and inventive ways to embarrass children, but you are a role model in that area. Not only have you scarred them for life with your public speeches, you have ensured their future angst by saddling them with names that no one else in the world would have! (“No really, I’m not that Bristol Palin,” will never work at college).
But wait! We thought we’d lost you! Our favorite TV show…. cancelled. But oh! Aren’t you the clever sneaky one? Just when we were wanting more – you gave.
Rumors swirl that there is a divorce. Rumors that land has been bought in Montana and that you plan on moving the family, sans Toddddd, to Montana. Oh, I cannot wait to hear more. Must know. When is the next episode?
According to this absolutely not reputable blog there has been a affair or even TWO!
AlaskaReport has learned today that Todd Palin and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin are to divorce. Multiple sources in Wasilla and Anchorage (including a former Palin staffer) have confirmed the split.
A National Enquirer story exposing previous affairs on both sides led to a deterioration of their marriage and the stress from that led to Palin's resignation as governor of Alaska last week.
The Palins were noticeably not speaking to each other for most of last Sunday's resignation speech in Fairbanks. Sarah ditched Todd (MSNBC) right after the speech and left without him. Sarah removed her wedding ring a couple of weeks ago.
Sarah has recently purchased land in Montana and is considering moving the family there. Sarah Palin is originally from Idaho.
Oh Sarah! Now I can add another reason why I love thee: If this is true, then I love thee for being a member of the party that preaches morality while engaging in moral turpitude behind our backs. Often.
So the big question now is: Will Sarah run in 2012? Oh, but we can only pray that she does.
I know one thing we can count on, if she ends up living in Montana and she’s high enough in the mountains there, she’ll be able to keep her eye out on the Republicans mortal enemy: France.
There once was a girl from Wasilla
whose voice got shriller and shriller.
“It’s the Media!” she cried
with Todd by her side;
who wasn’t her number one driller!
