THANKS Jennifer..........

......For leaving bite marks all over my husbands chest last night.

No, really, Thank You! You have no idea what a nightmare you have just saved me and my kids from.

To reward you for your services I am offering you my husband for keeps. Should you accept your prize please note the following rules.

1. You are going to have to financially support him. I say this because we have 2 children together (but you knew that) which means that he will have to give up a sizeable chunk of his pay to support them in the manner they deserve. Please keep in mind that since he has kept me a stay at home Mom for the better part of the last 11 years he will also be paying me alimony. So forget about his money honey.....cause it's mine!

(snip)


4. You will not be having a proper sex life. Yes, I know that you didn't fuck him last night. Since his back injury 4 years ago his penis hasn't worked right. Too bad for you because before that it was THE BEST SEX EVER and we fucked all the time! however, now he'll most likely disappoint you with his half hard member that only works with a little blue pill. Please don't let that fool you. The little blue pill means that he comes within 2 minutes....hardly enough time for you and 98% of the time he will just be too embarrassed to even try. Stock up on your batteries and/or multiple sex partners! By the way, No it CANNOT be fixed. It's nerve damage sweetie, deal with it!

5. You will NOT return him to me. I will NOT have him. He fucked up when he touched you! I was a good wife to him and he had a good thing going on here. Don't be surprised if you don't live up to me because you wont and he will make you miserable for it!

Jealous hubbie hawks wife on eBay

A JEALOUS husband who accused his wife of having an affair with a workmate took the ultimate online revenge - by placing her for sale on eBay.

The British man evicted his wife from their marital home, then advertised her on the internet site for just over $1m.

On the site Paul Osborn, 44, offers up wife Sharon saying he's putting his “cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife” to the highest bidder.

The site has been inundated with enquiries with users forwarding the link worldwide.

But Sharon, 43, denies an affair and British police are now investigating Paul for harassment.