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Stupor Bowls
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 02/05/2012 16:12:07

Or, Why the UN is Trying to Kill all the Old White Teabaggers!

So, you're a Commissioner or City Council member of a town and you want to make it safer for bike riders by building a bike lane? Communist!

Or perhaps you want to steer large developments from building on steep mountains to prevent mudslides and pollutant runoffs to those that live below? Fascist!

Why do you hate freedom?

UN Agenda 21 is a threat to our freedom and our very way of life say the Tea Party members. This all started back in the 70's during the Nixon era (he was a Republican) when many countries began to look for ways to cut down on pollutions and this new menace later named "Global Warming". Nixon started the EPA to address issues in our country and the UN came on board in 1992 with a non-binding resolution called Agenda 21. Did I mention that it is non-binding? Agenda 21 is a comprehensive plan of action to be taken globally, nationally and locally by organizations of the United Nations System, Governments, and Major Groups in every area in which human impacts on the environment.

Seems simple enough right? NO! NO it is NOT. It is the brutal, powerful, fist of BIGGGG Government coming down on us! Why, why do you want to have ........... bike lanes? Let them ride on the side of the road between the dirt path and the gully that was formed by storm water runoff! Why do you want high speed rails? What's wrong with your car, hmmm? What we need to do, see, is pave that forest land and build bigger roads. That would be the smart and safe thing to do.

Why, I hear in some parts of Texas someone proposed taxing property owners when it rains! I'm not kidding! They "claim" that all your pollution is ruining the lakes and rivers and streams and they have to spend money cleaning it all up. Oh boo-hoo. Cry me a toxic waste dump that was once a river.

In other places states are taking over perfectly good land, by the thousands of acres, and just roping it off! For what, you ask? I don't know, maybe future generations or something? Preposterous! Let's mow those trees down and use them to burn so we can make megatons of energy to power the Giga-ton A/C unit on top of the Super WalMart Super Complex on that very land!!

Thankfully, Tea Partiers are protesting loudly at these local levels to stop this Agenda. Recently a Roanoke Va City Council meeting had to have police break up a group of protesters. And FOX news has also picked it up and is running with it. The Republican Party (motto: We got Cash if you've got Ass) has now adopted its own resolution against what it called “the destructive and insidious nature” of Agenda 21. And Newty bravely took aim at it during a Republican debate in November.

We must work hard to fight this One World Order plot to keep our forest pristine and our water drinkable. I mean, future generations my ass! Let them get their own land. Next time you see a Tea Party member, be sure to thank them for their effort to stop all this nonsense. We all know Global Warming is a hoax - it snowed somewhere this year didn't it?
 

15 comments (Latest Comment: 02/06/2012 12:44:02 by trojanrabbit)
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Comment by TriSec on 02/05/2012 16:40:00
I have just drawn a big red line on my map down the Connecticut River, thus dividing the entire US into "Suck" and "Non-Suck".

Curiously enough, this also works in the other direction, depending on your point of view.



Comment by livingonli on 02/05/2012 17:44:27
Actually, I would use the Hudson River as the dividing line. At least that keeps the People's Republic of Vermont in the fold. But we do have to keep on the lookout for Sharia Law like the citizens of Oklahoma are.

Comment by BobR on 02/05/2012 19:32:17
The Republican Party - fighting imaginary boogeymen since 2001.

The Tea Party - fighting common sense since inauguration day, 2009

Comment by livingonli on 02/05/2012 21:48:13
Bruins, Celtics, and Rangers all won their afternoon match-ups today if that says anything. Knicks even beat the more hapless Nets last night.

Comment by livingonli on 02/06/2012 02:15:09
After seeing who was in the Patriots owners booth with the Kraft family, I really want the Giants to win.

Comment by velveeta jones on 02/06/2012 02:39:54
Hey, how come they don't play the sb on one of the stadiums of the teams that are in the super bowl? Seems silly.

Comment by TriSec on 02/06/2012 02:57:36
SUCK.

< trashes blog, storms out >


Comment by clintster on 02/06/2012 03:36:53
Quote by livingonli:
After seeing who was in the Patriots owners booth with the Kraft family, I really want the Giants to win.


Which is interesting considering in 2002, he called the Patriots a bunch of socialists.

http://rantsports.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/clubhouse/files/2012/02/3ddf784eee499e16030269220898eb84.jpg

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...

Comment by Raine on 02/06/2012 03:38:08


WE WON.

Comment by Raine on 02/06/2012 03:39:16
Quote by clintster:
Quote by livingonli:
After seeing who was in the Patriots owners booth with the Kraft family, I really want the Giants to win.


Which is interesting considering in 2002, he called the Patriots a bunch of socialists.

http://rantsports.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/clubhouse/files/2012/02/3ddf784eee499e16030269220898eb84.jpg

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...





Comment by clintster on 02/06/2012 03:41:56
Quote by Raine:
Quote by clintster:
Quote by livingonli:
After seeing who was in the Patriots owners booth with the Kraft family, I really want the Giants to win.


Which is interesting considering in 2002, he called the Patriots a bunch of socialists.

http://rantsports.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/clubhouse/files/2012/02/3ddf784eee499e16030269220898eb84.jpg

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...





I love the expression on Steven Tyler's face, too.

Comment by livingonli on 02/06/2012 03:43:58
Quote by clintster:
Quote by Raine:
Quote by clintster:
Quote by livingonli:
After seeing who was in the Patriots owners booth with the Kraft family, I really want the Giants to win.


Which is interesting considering in 2002, he called the Patriots a bunch of socialists.

http://rantsports.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/clubhouse/files/2012/02/3ddf784eee499e16030269220898eb84.jpg

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...





I love the expression on Steven Tyler's face, too.

At that moment, he was wishing he was back on drugs.

Comment by BobR on 02/06/2012 03:45:33
Quote by velveeta jones:
Hey, how come they don't play the sb on one of the stadiums of the teams that are in the super bowl? Seems silly.

Because they need to schedule the game, and they don't know who will be in it until 2 weeks in advance. Also - they don't want to give either team "home field" advantage.

Comment by trojanrabbit on 02/06/2012 12:33:21
Quote by velveeta jones:
Hey, how come they don't play the sb on one of the stadiums of the teams that are in the super bowl? Seems silly.


Also the No Fun League doesn't want to take the chance that it might snow during the game.

Unless of course, you've just spent more than a billion dollars building some fancy schmancy palace in New Jersey.

Comment by trojanrabbit on 02/06/2012 12:44:02
This will be the third place I've said this....

Congrats to the Giants and their fans.

Now please permit me to whine (not about the Giants, they won and are the better team), and toss some other bits around.

There's so much blame to go around as to why the Pats lost, yet it all seemed to center around the offense. In a way they're right, but it all centers around the fatal flaw the Pats have....an historically cruddy defense. The offense finally crumbled after having to carry the team all year, knowing that if they didn't score in that penultimate drive, the defense would be unable to stop the Giants from at least getting into field goal range. Hell, Belichick had to give the Giants a TD just to get the ball back.

Wouldn't surprise me in the least to find that Brady was injured after the 2nd half sack.

I think they should just dispense with singers carrying microphones. No way in hell was Madonna singing that live. Just drop the pretense.

While the team at the end was all "we win as a team and lose as a team" it took Gisele (who can be compared to Lennon's Yoko Ono) to say what everyone was probably thinking. I think this is what she said....

My husband can't fucking throw and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times.