We are now and finally exiting the theatre of the bizarre. I don't even know what to say in this final blog before the 2012 Election. I'm sitting here thinking about the last year and a half. There is so much to process... memories that can never be taken from us.

We've seen white boards, empty chairs, Big Bird and binders. We had 999 from Mr. Cain, "oops" from Mr. Perry, moon colonization, and a $10,000 bet. Newt suggested that children should be janitors. When questioned about his hiring practices, Mitt told Rick Perry "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake, we can't have illegals!" Donald Trump revived the Birther nonsense and Rick Santorum mentioned the "blah people". Mr. Santorum also declared Barack Obama a snob for wanting people to get a college education. To date, Mitt Romney has maintained that no one has asked to see his birth certificate.

Uzbeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan was the news and so were corn dogs. A few people were glitter bombed. That was pretty. We got a new nickname for Wolf Blitzer: Blitz.

Mitt Romney went onto win the GOP nomination and promptly treated us to his musical stylings by singing a very special version of "America the Beautiful". Not to be outdone, Meat Loaf took that musical treatment to a new level. Ted Nugent, a severely sought after endorsement got a special visit from the Secret Service. George Bush gave an endorsement too -- as an elevator door closed.

Rape and spontaneous abortion made news. Death panels were brought back. We learned that Paul Ryan has blood that runs with cheese and he has awesome Ayn Randish biceps. He also showed us the importance of cleanliness at a homeless shelter by washing pots and pans that had already been cleaned. Storm relief was put on display from canned peas to diapers. Our man Mitt bought $5000 dollars worth of goods so his supporters could hand them back to him! $5000 dollars was half the amount of his bet with Rick Perry....

Mitt Romney proudly proclaimed Paul Ryan as the next president of the United States. We also learned that as president, Mr. Romney will create 12 million new jobs and that government does not create jobs. Another revelation was that Romney isn't worried about the poor. He told us they are going to be ok, they have a safety net. It's a safety net that he and his running mate want to privatize, but let's not get too into details. I'll give you a voucher to get that information later. Did I mention that Mitt Romney is unemployed? He said so.

It was confirmed that trees were just the right height and cheesy grits we the best thing since cookies bought at a 7-11. He's really not sure about cookies.

Car elevators!

Ann Romney shared with us that she is concerned about her husbands mental health. Stop it, this is hard. They've given you people all you need to know. Ann Romney, as Mitt says, was used sparingly so people don't get tired of her. And as far as his bedwear, Mitt told us, "I think the best answer is as little as possible." It appears he took that same stance with explaining his economic platform.

Mitt Romney questioned aircraft engineering with his bold query of wondering why their windows don't open.

We learned how important the troops were during the Republican convention. When asked about the lack of mention, Romney said: "When you give a speech you don't go through a laundry list, you talk about the things that you think are important." He also wishes that the President would hear the message of Wisconsin, stating "It's time for us to cut back on government and help the American people." According to Mitt Romney we don't need for firefighters, police officers and teachers. A certain entity named Sandy seemed to have something else to say about that.

We gave special tribute to Seamus. He is remembered by dog lovers everywhere. The Romneys still maintain that Seamus loved being strapped to the top of a car. He even jumped into the carrier! "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." Mitt actually said that in 2007.

The 47% and "you people" were brought into the spotlight. Corporations, we learned, are people after all. On the bright side, Etch-A-Skech™ has made a comeback along with General Motors -- both to the dismay of Mitt Romney. He'll still take credit for Detroit, thank-you very much. When he said you can kiss Detroit goodbye, he really meant it was he who saved it.

Don't worry though, Mitt likes to fire people and send jobs to China. While we're at it, Mitt Romney regretted that his dad was an American born in Mexico -- he believes that it would be better for him if he were born Latino. That joke was SO funny.

London’s preparedness was questioned on the eve of the opening Olympic ceremonies. Then came Palestine being insulted on a visit to Israel. Then there was Poland and the all important Lech Walesa vote. Good thing Mitt set the world straight on his knowledge of the Libya attacks. His plan for the Middle East is to kick the can down the road.

He retired retroactively from Bain, and his taxes (or lack thereof) are none of our business. I'm sure to have forgotten more than one spectacular moment that will forever be written in the annals– or it anals? – of history.

One more day. Get out and Vote. Or, as Mitt Romney says: "Tomorrow we begin a new tomorrow!'

Then again, he also said "I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was."

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love."

Well, at least there was no Dean Scream moment. That could have ended his campaign.

Tomorrow, let's give Mitt Romney the Dean Scream treatment: VOTE.

and
Raine