You've FAILED. I'll never turn to the Dark Side.

I am a Trolley Conductor, like my trainer before me.


I hope I run into our abrasive union rep at some point before my last day. (We have opposing schedules). He served me no useful purpose, and has only ever made snide comments to me about how I operate my bus and deal with my guests. Fuck Him.

I am all done driving. It was fun for a while, but at this point in time, I now consider it an abortive attempt at a career change. I'm going back to healthcare, back to a desk job.

It represents a tremendous opportunity, actually. Initially, I'll be taking over the billing operation for a single-doc practice. She'd also like me to learn the front desk operations and manage the two staff members she has. The doctor's partner moved away, and she has been overwhelmed trying to run the business and practice medicine at the same time.

At some point, and she's said it twice now, she envisions me becoming the practice manager and running the business while she is the clinician.

Oh, the bus company was somewhat blindsided by my resignation on Friday. But since I stopped giving any fucks about ten days back, I really don't care. My direct manager asked me why, and I pointedly told him that if you give me a proper exit interview, I'd be glad to tell you all my issues. He didn't seem overly interested, so screw him, too.

Ah - but there is the light side of The Force to return to. Immediately following, (Saturday morning) I loaded up the car and headed off to New England Base Camp. It was a fantastic weekend; I cooked for everyone, did some open camp program, shot some arrows, and ran into a handful of Scouting friends that I hadn't seen in over a year.

Saturday night we spent around the fire smoking some cigars and pondering the country's problems. One of the gentleman is differently-winged from me, but I have the deepest courtesy and respect for him. He's the one that observed during the Bush Administration that "the only reason we can have an intelligent conversation about this is because of the uniform that we wear."

It feels as though a tremendous weight has lifted. Not since 2003 has leaving a job felt like relief instead of a new challenge. There will be many more personal challenges to face as we move into 2021 - but my personal situation may no longer be one of them.

I still miss my old friends at the trolley. As I told another scouter this weekend, "It was the best job I ever had." I have realized that things will never be the same again, even if I do go back and give tours. So I have decided not to try finding that next 'best job ever'.

Strange that office work is now my refuge - but even at my advanced age, "older and wiser" is something I can embrace.