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Libertarian Saturday Returns!
Author: TriSec
Date: 12/20/2008 12:03:58
Morning, folks. Dusting off an old chestnut for the holidays...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nation
Friends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.
Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shore
Her torch shining brighter than a few weeks before
But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosy
It was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy Pelosi
And leaders from every side of the aisle
Who would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.
The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -
Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -
And they rushed to the window on papery feet
As a jolly old man flew right over their street.
"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembled
And they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,
Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flair
In a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair
And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -
"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?"
"Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam.
"You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"
"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear Arms
And Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"
The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said
"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."
The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long
"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong.
"The President's trying to mangle and warp us,
"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"
The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -
But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,
"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying
"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,
"And secret abductions by the CIA,
"And laws that would take women's choices away,
"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,
"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "
"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from above
And Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.
He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.
It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.
The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:
"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!
"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!"
"And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"
Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,
"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"
And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the night
The Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"
From the distance they heard him reply with a snort.
"Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"
Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the room
And, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."
But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!
"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,
"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong.
"It's America, can't we all just get along?
"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!
"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!
"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens
"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!
"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it.
"Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"
So this holiday season, whatever you do,
Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.
Friends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.
Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shore
Her torch shining brighter than a few weeks before
But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosy
It was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy Pelosi
And leaders from every side of the aisle
Who would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.
The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -
Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -
And they rushed to the window on papery feet
As a jolly old man flew right over their street.
"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembled
And they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,
Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flair
In a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair
And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -
"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?"
"Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam.
"You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"
"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear Arms
And Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"
The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said
"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."
The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long
"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong.
"The President's trying to mangle and warp us,
"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"
The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -
But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,
"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying
"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,
"And secret abductions by the CIA,
"And laws that would take women's choices away,
"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,
"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "
"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from above
And Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.
He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.
It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.
The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:
"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!
"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!"
"And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"
Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,
"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"
And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the night
The Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"
From the distance they heard him reply with a snort.
"Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"
Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the room
And, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."
But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!
"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,
"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong.
"It's America, can't we all just get along?
"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!
"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!
"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens
"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!
"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it.
"Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"
So this holiday season, whatever you do,
Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.
Comments:
Order comments Newest to Oldest Refresh Comments
Comment by 
trojanrabbit on 12/20/2008 14:20:32
trojanrabbit on 12/20/2008 14:20:32
Good morning everyone. :coffee2:
Done our normal snowstorm ritual of cleaning the cars off and moving them so the plows can come through and clean our parking spots then move them back. Probably 9" or so but it's still coming down. Who knows what's coming on Sunday.
Trying to elevate my feet for a bit on the recliner and warm up, of course as soon as my feet went up, Cleo goes under the footrest into the chair. She better not stay there too long.
Done our normal snowstorm ritual of cleaning the cars off and moving them so the plows can come through and clean our parking spots then move them back. Probably 9" or so but it's still coming down. Who knows what's coming on Sunday.
Trying to elevate my feet for a bit on the recliner and warm up, of course as soon as my feet went up, Cleo goes under the footrest into the chair. She better not stay there too long.
Comment by 
velveeta jones on 12/20/2008 14:55:22
velveeta jones on 12/20/2008 14:55:22
Yay!!!! Poetry!! :clap:
Comment by velveeta jones on 12/20/2008 15:58:48
velveeta jones on 12/20/2008 15:58:48
Aw, it looks like Levi's Mom was hooked on Rush's D.O.C. (drug of choice). OXY! aka "hillbilly heroin". I don't know why its called that, since its often the rich and white that take it. Oh well. She'll still go through painful and heavy withdrawls, poor dear.
Comment by 
livingonli on 12/20/2008 16:08:29
livingonli on 12/20/2008 16:08:29
Good morning everyone. So, will Rush be making a trip to Alaska in his private plane? 
Comment by trojanrabbit on 12/20/2008 16:59:42
trojanrabbit on 12/20/2008 16:59:42
I've been searching for a battery for my wife's Creative Zen PMC (it's shorted out and bulging). Of course since the thing is about 8 years old, there aren't too many around, at least not from a vendor I know/trust. That's the problem with almost all of the portable electronics these days, the batteries are unique to the unit and the manufacturer can discontinue it when they want, and the unit is instantly useless once that battery dies. I've got the same player, but fortunately the battery is still servicable.
Comment by 
IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 17:39:33
A one-way flight to sloppy seconds!
IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 17:39:33
Quote by livingonli:
Good morning everyone. So, will Rush be making a trip to Alaska in his private plane?
A one-way flight to sloppy seconds!
Comment by AuntAzalea on 12/20/2008 17:45:13
Only if there are young hookers as well.
Oops, allegedly.
Quote by livingonli:
Good morning everyone. So, will Rush be making a trip to Alaska in his private plane?
Only if there are young hookers as well.
Oops, allegedly.
Comment by 
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 18:16:21
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 18:16:21
Meh. Dexter season two finale anticlimactic.
Comment by 
Raine on 12/20/2008 18:32:31
Raine on 12/20/2008 18:32:31
Good afternoon everyone. Hillbilly heroin huh?
Hmm I wonder if Mom will be able to make it to bristol and Levi wedding...
Hmm I wonder if Mom will be able to make it to bristol and Levi wedding...
Comment by livingonli on 12/20/2008 18:35:18
Only if he remembers to pack his Viagra. :P
BTW, has anyone seen a recent picture of Bristol in order to verify she actually is pregnant. That story that Kos had a few months back is still in my head.
livingonli on 12/20/2008 18:35:18
Quote by AuntAzalea:Quote by livingonli:
Good morning everyone. So, will Rush be making a trip to Alaska in his private plane?
Only if there are young hookers as well.
Oops, allegedly.
Only if he remembers to pack his Viagra. :P
BTW, has anyone seen a recent picture of Bristol in order to verify she actually is pregnant. That story that Kos had a few months back is still in my head.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 18:43:17
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 18:43:17
Hey let show some compassion for Levi's mom. She has an addiction. :giggle: :bites inside of cheek: She is sick and needs help. Hell! Who am I kidding!
Comment by IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 18:53:59
It blew chunks of monkey puke. Kinda like the third book.
IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 18:53:59
Quote by Mondobubba:
Meh. Dexter season two finale anticlimactic.
It blew chunks of monkey puke. Kinda like the third book.
Comment by livingonli on 12/20/2008 18:58:53
livingonli on 12/20/2008 18:58:53
Time to run some errands and then head off to the salt mine.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 19:03:05
I wouldn't go that far. Up to the last episode it was good. Ohhh Dexter's crazy girlfriend finds Dokes. Oh crazy girlfriend blows Dokes up! Problem solved! Sew up loose ends. :shrug:
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 19:03:05
Quote by IzzyBitz:Quote by Mondobubba:
Meh. Dexter season two finale anticlimactic.
It blew chunks of monkey puke. Kinda like the third book.
I wouldn't go that far. Up to the last episode it was good. Ohhh Dexter's crazy girlfriend finds Dokes. Oh crazy girlfriend blows Dokes up! Problem solved! Sew up loose ends. :shrug:
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 19:41:42
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 19:41:42
Say it ain't so! Alton Brown is a born again! :cry:
Comment by 
BobR on 12/20/2008 19:54:09
What's the problem?
As long as he still does the food shows and doesn't proseletize on them...
BobR on 12/20/2008 19:54:09
Quote by Mondobubba:
Say it ain't so! Alton Brown is a born again! :cry:
What's the problem?
As long as he still does the food shows and doesn't proseletize on them...
Comment by BobR on 12/20/2008 19:55:38
BobR on 12/20/2008 19:55:38
I got a package in the mail today!
Someone had a little trouble with the address...
:P
Someone had a little trouble with the address...
:P
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 20:17:00
John Lydon hustling butter.
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 20:17:00
John Lydon hustling butter.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 20:19:19
Its the idea of it. He so cool and interesting. How could he be one of of the sheeple?
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 20:19:19
Quote by BobR:Quote by Mondobubba:
Say it ain't so! Alton Brown is a born again! :cry:
What's the problem?
As long as he still does the food shows and doesn't proseletize on them...
Its the idea of it. He so cool and interesting. How could he be one of of the sheeple?
Comment by IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 20:59:53
His head looks like a sheeple with mange.
And might I say that Dexter was good up until the last episode. Rita falling off a cliff would have been a better ending.
IzzyBitz on 12/20/2008 20:59:53
Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by BobR:Quote by Mondobubba:
Say it ain't so! Alton Brown is a born again! :cry:
What's the problem?
As long as he still does the food shows and doesn't proseletize on them...
Its the idea of it. He so cool and interesting. How could he be one of of the sheeple?
His head looks like a sheeple with mange.
And might I say that Dexter was good up until the last episode. Rita falling off a cliff would have been a better ending.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 22:16:45
Oh I like that idea!
Mondobubba on 12/20/2008 22:16:45
Quote by IzzyBitz:Quote by Mondobubba:Quote by BobR:Quote by Mondobubba:
Say it ain't so! Alton Brown is a born again! :cry:
What's the problem?
As long as he still does the food shows and doesn't proseletize on them...
Its the idea of it. He so cool and interesting. How could he be one of of the sheeple?
His head looks like a sheeple with mange.
And might I say that Dexter was good up until the last episode. Rita falling off a cliff would have been a better ending.
Oh I like that idea!
Comment by 
Random on 12/20/2008 22:23:18
Random on 12/20/2008 22:23:18
*sighs*
Random sad.
Random sad.
Comment by livingonli on 12/20/2008 22:33:22
livingonli on 12/20/2008 22:33:22
What'sa matter, Random?
Comment by Random on 12/20/2008 23:08:24
Random on 12/20/2008 23:08:24
Random's blogger joe gift never arrived.
Comment by livingonli on 12/20/2008 23:11:54
livingonli on 12/20/2008 23:11:54
I'm still waiting for mine too. Unless I double check my mail over the last few days I haven't seen it yet.
Comment by Random on 12/20/2008 23:15:08
Random on 12/20/2008 23:15:08
still has random down...he's never done a secret santa thing before...
Comment by livingonli on 12/20/2008 23:31:20
livingonli on 12/20/2008 23:31:20
I only started doing it two years ago myself. Last year, I had the problem with my present not reaching its destination when the post office sent it back to me instead of sending it to the person.
Comment by Random on 12/20/2008 23:52:11
Random on 12/20/2008 23:52:11
sucks...
I sent mine by ups.
I sent mine by ups.
Comment by Raine on 12/21/2008 00:27:31
Raine on 12/21/2008 00:27:31
lesigh... Just got word that my sister (the one who had little matthew 3 months ago) is having her appendix taken out tonight.
Could use good thoughts and the flaven... I feel so bad for her.
Could use good thoughts and the flaven... I feel so bad for her.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 01:58:31
Yikes! :vibes to Atlanta and the Hudson Valley:
Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 01:58:31
Quote by Raine:
lesigh... Just got word that my sister (the one who had little matthew 3 months ago) is having her appendix taken out tonight.
Could use good thoughts and the flaven... I feel so bad for her.
Yikes! :vibes to Atlanta and the Hudson Valley:
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 02:03:17
Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 02:03:17
I came back from dinner. Glum and gloomy. But my mood has suddenly improved! Mythbusters marathon. And we have a viewers special. Bamboo torture and two things blowing up! Yeah! Explosions always cheer me up!
Comment by livingonli on 12/21/2008 02:14:24
livingonli on 12/21/2008 02:14:24
Healing vibes for Raine's sister. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the other hand, the Islanders production crew that I am working with don't seem to bring much to TV Production values. It didn't help that the HD feed had sever compression issues.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On the other hand, the Islanders production crew that I am working with don't seem to bring much to TV Production values. It didn't help that the HD feed had sever compression issues.
Comment by 
clintster on 12/21/2008 02:25:33
clintster on 12/21/2008 02:25:33
Tracking my in-laws coming to town on FlightAware. Just in case our AV dorks are lurking, they're flying on an MD-82.
Comment by clintster on 12/21/2008 02:30:48
clintster on 12/21/2008 02:30:48
Sending healthy karma Raine's family's way.
Comment by BobR on 12/21/2008 02:41:45
BobR on 12/21/2008 02:41:45
Not feeling so well myself. I've woken up with vertigo the last few mornings, and it's not going away today. Every time I move my head suddenly, the room keeps moving. It's annoying and a little nauseating.
If this doesn't go away by Mon morning, I will be calling the doc.
If this doesn't go away by Mon morning, I will be calling the doc.
Comment by Raine on 12/21/2008 02:42:17
Raine on 12/21/2008 02:42:17
Don't worry -- everyone always gets the blogger joe gift...
Comment by BobR on 12/21/2008 02:43:41
BobR on 12/21/2008 02:43:41
adding: I've spent all day horizontal on the couch flipping between the science channel, the history channel, and the food network.
I am smarter than ever! :nerd:
I am smarter than ever! :nerd:
Comment by Raine on 12/21/2008 02:44:20
Raine on 12/21/2008 02:44:20
And yes some healy vibes for bobber would be nice too... hope I am not asking too much tonite.
I got a lot of concern going on for loved ones today.
Clint... when does the family arrive?
I got a lot of concern going on for loved ones today.
Clint... when does the family arrive?
Comment by Random on 12/21/2008 02:50:56
Random on 12/21/2008 02:50:56
Sending out healing vibes.
Comment by livingonli on 12/21/2008 02:54:24
:hug: Then again if I was sick, I would just be watching mindless crap or at least some sick, twisted cartoons.
livingonli on 12/21/2008 02:54:24
Quote by BobR:
adding: I've spent all day horizontal on the couch flipping between the science channel, the history channel, and the food network.
I am smarter than ever! :nerd:
:hug: Then again if I was sick, I would just be watching mindless crap or at least some sick, twisted cartoons.
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 03:01:40
Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 03:01:40
:healing vibes for der Bobbernator:
What no Mythbusters, Bobber? You don't like esploshuns??
What no Mythbusters, Bobber? You don't like esploshuns??
Comment by Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 03:36:13
Mondobubba on 12/21/2008 03:36:13
Hey Bobber, want to write songs for Wasilla, the Musical on Ice?
Comment by BobR on 12/21/2008 03:41:35
of course I do.
I'm just not a fanatic about the show.
BobR on 12/21/2008 03:41:35
Quote by Mondobubba:
:healing vibes for der Bobbernator:
What no Mythbusters, Bobber? You don't like esploshuns??
of course I do.
I'm just not a fanatic about the show.
Comment by BobR on 12/21/2008 03:42:11
Count me in!
BobR on 12/21/2008 03:42:11
Quote by Mondobubba:
Hey Bobber, want to write songs for Wasilla, the Musical on Ice?
Count me in!
Comment by clintster on 12/21/2008 05:26:47
They're here! The Bro in law and I just got in from Hartsfield a while ago. My Stepmom-in-law even brought some of her homemade Texas barbecue brisket.
clintster on 12/21/2008 05:26:47
Quote by Raine:
And yes some healy vibes for bobber would be nice too... hope I am not asking too much tonite.
I got a lot of concern going on for loved ones today.
Clint... when does the family arrive?
They're here! The Bro in law and I just got in from Hartsfield a while ago. My Stepmom-in-law even brought some of her homemade Texas barbecue brisket.