Today Velveeta will spoil this lovely Sunday that God has blessed us with, to remind you of the many crazy zombies out there, bent on destroying you. Its always good to remember that they are out there, waiting. And we all know that zombies do two things: move slow and eat brains. These particular zombies attempt to brainwash our more gullible citizens by appearing to know what they’re talking about. If a person has a radio or TV show on a major network, they must be smart, right? If someone gets paid to speak in front of large crowds of people, certainly, they must be an expert in their field?
Nope. Sorry. There are many crazy zombies out there - they spew the hateful words written in front of them, pander to other evil zombies, and make it seem as if everything they say is true.
So, I thought I’d take a moment to remind ya’ll of some of them. To be honest, its also a way to cut and paste my way through the blog this morning as Velveeta fights the flu/fever that is desperately trying to keep her down. But she will fight on! FIGHT! FIGHT! Fight (cough) ……….
So here are my awards to a few of the crazy mother fuckers who are trying to turn our brains into mush, attempting to zombie-fy us, so that we will end up spewing right-wing nonsense, walking slowly and trying to eat our friends and families brains infecting them as well.
I’m sorry there is no actual awards to give out, nor do we have the fabulous red carpet, Klieg lights, jazzy dance numbers or hot buxom blondes leading the winners off stage right - unless Raine volunteers.
First crazy mother fucker: Shirley Phelps-Roper. You know her from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, the ones that protest soldiers funerals and are all like :whiney voice: “this is how Jesus wants us to live”. Oddly enough, Shirley seems intent on “not being submissive” as her Bible clearly preaches, as she is the outspoken leader of the church. As well, she has adopted the feminist custom of keeping her maiden name and using a (gasp) hyphen. For shame Shirley! Another oddity that I couldn’t help but notice. She’s breed 11 children, or as they are more commonly known, church members, all of whom also have the hyphenated name “Phelps-Roper”. Hmm, that just seems overly feminist! I don’t think even Jane Fonda would do such a thing. (She didn’t). But I do notice that her children/church still have those names………..which means they have not married, which means, according to their own laws, they are still virgins! Yikes. (Some of them are, I believe, in thier late 20's or older). Good luck trying to find a husband/wife/life partner in that particular state of craziness.
Anywho, not that we need proof that she is a crazy mother fucker, but the family/church recently released this this little gem of a press release. (Typo’s included):
Westboro Baptist Church (WBC Chronicles - Since 1955) 3701 SW 12th St. Topeka, Kansas 66604 785-273-0325 GodHatesFags.com Religions Opinion and Bible Commentary on Cnrrent Events Friday, February 15, 2008
NEWS RELEASE Thank God for NIU Carnage. Thank God for the Shooter. Thank God for 6 dead. God sent the Shooter. WBC warned you in Aug. 2000. WBC will picket your funerals. Yes. Aug. 4-6, 2000, WBC picketed Northern Illinois University where a conference for fags was being held, headed by some preacher that had a sex change operation. We warned you at that time that God Almighty would not tolerate such perversions, and that He would in due course pour out His wrath in retaliatory vengeance upon pagan Illinois and upon fag NIU. You mocked and scoffed. Now God says of you, "For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind." Hos.8:7. God hates Illinois and NIU. Moreover, you adopted a course of persecution against WBC. Expect worse & more from God.
That’s right ,you’re not hallucinating…….they are ever so glad that someone killed people at the NIU campus. Aren’t they lovely? By the way, we will just be missing them in DC. If we went just one week earlier we could “hang out with them”.
#2. Bill O’Reilly. Space does not really allow to write all the details of why BillO is a CMF. Let me just spin the NO SPIN ZONE/BULLSHIT SPIN WHEEL ™ (patent pending) and find just one random clip.
Here, he tries to convince you that its YOUR fault that we’re losing the GWOT and that YOU are happy when things go bad in Iraq. If you haven’t eaten yet, see if you can sit through to his remarks about Sean Penn and Jane Fonda. What a condescending CMF!
Lastly, I’ll have to add this women, mostly due to screechiness in voice. (My head is throbbing, so I don’t know exactly what she’s saying due to the mind-numbing pain that her screeches inflict). Brigitte Gabriel is educated, very well coiffed , and articulate. To bad she’s just a tad moon-bat crazy. She has tried to convince us that Keith Ellison is out to get us because he is a Muslim and that‘s what Muslims do. She has told us the all Islamists are born hating us and its in every fiber of their body to due us harm.
Here’s a sample video where you are informed that you are supporting Osama Bin Laden if you advertise in the New York Times. Again, I warn you not to view this on a full stomach or a hangover. I also caution you to turn your speakers to a low volume!
Lets give a big hand to our winners. They won’t really notice, as they’ve each moved on to the next bright light and/or microphone ready to infect more people.
In case you missed this from the “liberal media” NYT, another fight to keep the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) is on the way. When we last heard, the Raypublicans had positioned themselves onto the board of directors in an effort to destroy non-corporate funded radio and television. They seem to be winning.
After all, why would we want to watch/listen to the various classical young artists competitions, a great jazz show like Sinnett in Session or the award winning Dance in America series, when we might miss FOX’s American Idol!!
One last thing. You probably missed this interesting piece on the Discovery channel about Area 51. It will reappear in March, check your listings. Its very interesting what has happened to that entire area and the surrounding towns. The show is called “Inside Area 51” and I recommend keeping an eye out for it.