Just thought I'd check in to see if I'm still hated by the Republican party. Not all of them mind you, I still want to believe there are a few sensible ones out there that really don't care what color our President is or if gays are allowed to marry. But those kind of Republicans - at this point they should have another name - are too few. I think many of them may be afraid to speak their mind.

So let's just go over the short list, shall we? See if you find yourself in here.

Poor people.
Republicans think poor people are yucky. They are always dirty and they seem to have no fashion sense whatsoever! I mean, really, pick up a Vogue once in a while, will ya? They believe poor people complain a lot because they have to work several jobs, or, cannot find a job and they always seem to have many children. They claim it's because they don't always have access to birth control, but you know their insurance will pay for it, so what's the deal? Not only do they have horrible fashion sense and old cars they all seem to be uneducated. Don't blame me because you had to drop out of school early to support your family! See, if you'd have stayed in school, and your parents had put through a nice college or even a state university, you'd have a better job. Look how successful we Republicans are!

"They talk about income inequality. I’m for income inequality" Rick Santorum said in Iowa last year. But I think we can forgive Mr. Santorum just a bit, after all, he thinks poor people are all black (blah, as he calls them) and I'm not sure that Mr. Santorum is very educated. In fact, if he hadn't lucked into that cushy Senate job, I think Mr. Santorum might be living in a trailer park with his 7 kids running around barefoot playing with their chained up dog and an old pickup truck as his transportation to the IHOP where he works as a third shift cook.

Mitt Romney has stated that "he doesn't care about the poor", cause they have a nice cushy little net! Newt thinks that we should have all the poor kids work as janitors in school thereby paying for their education and learning valuable skills for their future. And, Ron Paul thinks that the state's should take care of the poor.

Gay People.
Republicans believe gay people are evil, pure evil! Unless you're a hot and young woman willing to do girl on girl action while they watch and/or participate, or, you're a hot and young stud who's willing to have a quick and discreet, yet super dirty, encounter in a bathroom or motel room during CPAC.

Newt Gingrich is super worried about how gay marriage might affect his own hetero marriage. He struggles to stay faithful, and I guess every time two dudes get married he has to cheat on whichever wife he's currently with. It's all quite sad. He doesn't think that gays should adopt children either. Imagine the icky things that these children might see. Better that they be with one man and one woman and all the women that the man is cheating with.

Rick Santorum thinks that gay people have sex with animals. Ron Paul thinks that, just like everything else, it's up to the state's to decide. (Seriously, what would this guy do as President)? And Mitt Romney is against gay everything. Though, that could change, cause some years ago he was practically leading the Gay Pride parade.

Women.
Women are gross. They are needy and they spread diseases like cooties and worse. They need men to tell them what to do, when to do it and to stop complaining about it. They certainly cannot make decisions about their own bodies, that would be wrong. Rick Santorum recently said that contraception is a license to do other things in a sexual realm that are not okay. I suppose he means...... I have no idea what he means. Different positions? Role playing? My brain is spinning but I cannot imagine how birth control can suddenly mean making amateur porn or whatever....

One thing contraception does do, it decreases the amount of abortions, so I suppose one has to pick their battles.

Newt keeps insisting that this isn't about women but about religious freedom. Like corporations, religious institutions should have more rights than women. Mitt Romney actually believes in federal funding of birth control and he... oh, wait, wait..... Nope, not anymore. He's against it. And, Ron Paul thinks that the state's should decide how to keep women from getting birth control.

Well, these are just a few of the very important issues of our time. Not the middle east, not our roles in Afghanistan, not reigning in the threats from Iran or North Korea, not jobs, not global warming or our dependence on fossil fuels, not dealing with poverty throughout the world or human rights or even democracy. Nope.

Poor (black) people.
Gay people.
Women.

Seriously.