Today's blog is written by former U.S. Representative from Missouri 2nd District, Todd Akin.

I wish to address an issue concerning my previous comments about rape and pregnancy. Specifically, I said: "Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child."

Well as my father used to say, Shuck mah grits and call me Betty! It seems I could have been wrong. Is this possible? This occurred to me when I heard about the horrible story coming out of Ohio about a man kidnapping 3 women and, well, you know the story. It's just too sordid and shocking to reprise on the pages of the internet where where nothing unsavory is seen or heard. Seems one of the women had a baby through rape. Indeed, we are hearing that there may have been many pregnancies that were forcibly terminated by this rapist captor.

So I went back to consult with several other doctors and they confirmed that I was indeed wrong. A woman can get pregnant through the crime of rape; the body does not shut that whole thing down.

My mind is blown.

If I was wrong about something so basic, what else was I wrong about? That Gay people don't actually choose to be gay? Hahahaha, no really. In my mind it goes like this: a man wakes up in the morning and stands in the warm shower; lathering up his rock hard body ever so slowly, while the shower steams from the heat of the water hitting his firm pecs and sinewy muscular arms. And as he begins to wake up from the warmth of the water he begins contemplating his day and wondering "what outfit will I wear today? Perhaps the gray suit with a blue shirt and that striped tie. Also, shall I be gay today? Hmmm, yes, I think I will. So I'll switch outfits to the pink shirt with an ascot instead of a tie"

Isn't this how it has always been? This is why I wake up every morning and pray to God to keep me straight; to not think about other men or their, you know, stuff. It's always worked as each day I remain straight. (Even after looking at my wife first thing in the morning). I have 6 kids for cyin' out loud; I just cannot be gay!

Now I just feel like an empty shell, I don't know who to believe anymore. Gay people don't wake up each day and make a choice and women's bodies don't have some secret excretion that prevents pregnancy. One woman told me that if her body could shut down to prevent pregnancy why wouldn't it shut down to prevent the rape. I suppose I never thought this through, but until recently I didn't think rape happened so very often and that maybe women enjoyed it. Certainly they asked for it by the way they dress. Now I'm not so sure about anymore and confusion is setting in.

Next you'll tell me that mankind does indeed affect the Earth and there is such a thing as climate change. Let me turn on Glenn Beck and not pay attention "LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa..." Can't hear you! Because next you'll tell me all kinds of strange things like the Earth wasn't created by a Deity that looks like a whiter version of Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings, that Obama is not a Muslim; or that poor people aren't all lazy criminals that scam the government out of money so they can buy drugs and large screen TV's!!

I refuse to listen to this!

I might have been wrong about the rape/pregnancy thing, but that is all. I'm turning on FOX news to calm down now; my world feels like it's spinning out of control.

Sincerely,
Todd Akin (No relation to Clay)