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Another Gift? For Me?!
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 01/12/2014 15:40:47

Well I do declare, that Party of Republicans just continues to shower us with gifts! Do they know that the Elephant is one of my favorite animals in the world? Actually, given the choice between having a donkey or an elephant as a pet, the latter would be the clear favorite. 'Course, I'd have to have John Edwards sized home and some hired help.

In just the past few elections they have given us so much; really, they are too, too kind. Why, in the 2008 Presidential we were gifted with Mike Huckabee - his name alone is a gift to comedians everywhere - who lost 480 pounds so he could fit behind a podium, only to give quotes about comparing candidates to hunters' trophies and to have a son who tortured and killed a stray dog for amusement. Huckabee is a "Christian". Then of course, we had Alan Keyes who, after being ignored at debates, left the Republican party in a huff to join the Constitution Party. Leaving the few that supported him to say, "There's a Constitution Party?" And, we had Fred Thompson who was enticed to run by republicans screaming "Run Fred, Run". Fred thought long and hard, thought some more, eventually threw his hat into the ring, then forgot to show up.

In later years we were sent serious gifts in the forms of Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, and Michele Bachmann, who are just but a sample of the bat-shit crazy gifts we've gotten. Why, people who would open their mouths and say things about the rape of women that many hardcore rapists wouldn't even repeat!

Now, just in time for our 2016 Presidential race, we have been given the gift of Chris Christie. A large man whose name sounds like he's the lead singer of a Christian rock band. "For one night only, at the Celebratory Celebration Stage, Chris Christie and the Disciples!"

Yes, thanks to Chris and his New Jersey manners, he has doomed himself for the Southern states. Speaking for most of us, I can tell you that we already don't really trust New Jersey people. When we think of that state these days, we think of Mobsters and Snooki.
http://www.streetgangs.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/large_angelo-prisco.JPG


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Thanks to Chris Christie, we have another gift to open. The fact that he made light of the situation by saying that he was standing out there with cones, keeping the bridge closed... well, it just sounds like something snarky that one of the Mob Wives would say.

Congrats, Chris. You can go off that diet.
 

4 comments (Latest Comment: 01/12/2014 19:55:00 by velveeta jones)
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