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100 Days of MAGA!
Author: velveeta jones    Date: 05/07/2017 12:57:14

Great Leader President Trump has finished his first 100 days which was a pretty big deal. So big, he went to PA to hold a rally and tell us about all the amazing, wonderful things he's done as well as all the tasty deserts he has eaten.

Not stopping for a minute after completing this daunting task of 100 days in office, he carried on making America great by getting rid of Obamacare while admitting that even a small insignificant country like Australia has better health care than Obamacare. Now we have the AHCA; the sound you make when you sneeze if you're a small Asian woman. The AHCA will provide EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN most Americans some Americans with excellent health care.

But what can we mere mortal and insignificant Americans do to keep MAGA while our leader works hard at all that he does? His daughter is doing her part with her new book which tells working women how she came to be successful. It's chock full of jewels like this: "All women benefit immeasurably by architecting their lives”.

Here's a list of 100 things that we can do and talking points to get out to those who are obviously jealous of President Trump. Do these for the next 100 days to assist our Great Leader!

1. Help the AHCA succeed. Stop getting sick.
2. Send postcards to Maxine Waters and Adam Schiff and tell them how sad and pathetic they are.
3. Stop watching Stephen Colbert and
4. Bill Maher and
5. John Oliver and
6. Trevor Noah and
7. Samantha Bee
8. Watch FOX and Friends
9. Stop being poor.
10. Write letters to congress to overturn the Bill O'Reilly firing.
11. Stop being an immigrant and go back to your own country.
12. Eat cake at Trump properties.
18. Stop watching fake news.
19. Play golf at Trump golf courses.
20.. Inherit billions of dollars from your father and then call yourself successful.
26. Write a book about how successful you are after you’re given all this money.
27. Get on a reality show as soon as possible.
29. Call Native American women “Pocahontas” as often as possible.
30. Speaking of women, don’t forget that pussy grabbing! Not sure how this helps America, but our humble leader swears by it!
31. Remember, it’s always the Media’s fault, unless it’s North Korea’s China’s Canada’s fault.
37. Also, it’s always Obama’s fault for ruining everything.
39. Climate change, Smimate Change. Dribble.
40. Protest at one of those horrible, sad, Planned Parenthoods.
41. Retweet all the President's great and amazing Tweets.
42. Get a hot wife/husband.
48. Remind people whenever possible, in all types of situations, that Trump won the biggest electoral college win ever! Sample conversation might go like this: “Say, this rain seems like it’ll never end” “Yes, and President Trump won the largest electoral college of any president, ever”.
50. It’s never plagiarism unless you can prove it.
51. The argument that Obama signed too many Executive Orders and now Trump is hypocritical is a ridiculous argument. Change the subject when this happens.
60. China is not a currency manipulator. Wait, no, they are a currency manipulator. No, they’re not.
61. Spy on your neighbors and report any suspicious illegal brown people to the Homeland Security VOICE hotline: 1-855-48 VOICE (855-488-6423).
67. Don’t worry about the relaxation of regulations on your food, water, soil and air. These don’t concern you. Nothing to worry about or think about.
68. Contribute to Donald J. Trump for President 2020 now!
70. The only good celebs are the ones that admire Donald. Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Chachi.
71. The President is not overweight, he’s just too tall.
73. Russia and Donald Trump. Nothing to see here.
75. Also, there is no video tape with or without prostitutes or peeing.
78. Remind your friends how smart and good-looking our President is.
80. Also, randomly interject references about how successful he is at everything he does. This helps propel the truthful narrative that he is; thus Making America Great Again.
85. Don’t subscribe to the New York Times which is failing.
87. Ivanka is a wonderful, brilliant, successful and gorgeous woman, and she gets that from her father.
88. Donald’s 2nd term will have an even bigger crowd at the inauguration. Biggest one ever. Make plans to be there.
91. Are you following realDonaldJTrump on Twitter? He’s got more followers than anyone in the world!
93. Join Mar-a-Lago. This will help the President financially and you might even get to meet him! It’s a steal at only $200K. (The chocolate cake is so big).
95. Stop being a nasty woman.
96. Suing media outlets for saying disgusting things about any of the Trumps should be legal. Changing the constitution should be something he can do.
97. Let’s all support Sean Spicer. I sent him some Shari’s Berries.
99. Firing Supreme Court justices should also be fixed in that constitution.
100. Even though America will be all fixed (after Obama messed it up) by then, vote for Donald J. Trump in 2020!

Get out and MAGA!


2 comments (Latest Comment: 05/07/2017 21:27:14 by TriSec)
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