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Ask a Vet
Author: TriSec    Date: 09/17/2019 10:02:01

Good Morning.

It's a terribly quiet day on the veteran's front. A rarity - nothing is really catching my eye out there on the usual websites.


There is, however, a curious diatribe about fast-food chicken sandwiches. I will freely admit that I don't patronize either of these shops, so I have no idea what the hubbub is about.


Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen set the world on fire Aug. 12 with the release of a new crispy chicken sandwich that the New Yorker called an “exquisite slab of chicken breast, hefty and juicy and snow-white, in its crenellated armor of that uncommonly crisp fried batter.”

Households with longstanding devotions to Chick-fil-A were suddenly divided. Brother pitted against brother, mothers against daughters, and entire families against a healthy, balanced diet. The great Chicken Sandwich War of 2019.

The aftermath of the sandwich’s creation has been a portrait of American lethargy.

Drive-thru lines stretch around blocks, uniformed herds of patrons unwilling to park and lumber the 17 arduous steps from car door to Popeyes counter. One champion, desperate for a taste, breaks from the pack and ventures indoors — Pheidippides embodied, running from Marathon to Athens to deliver the good news of fried chicken on a brioche bun.

With Chick-fil-A yet to make the move to U.S. military installations, Popeyes zeroed in on CONUS-based service members.

The sandwich’s spellbinding effects were immediate.

Out were military priorities of readiness and lethality. In were fried chicken, pickles and buttered buns.

But it turns out the demand of troops, coupled with the insatiable appetite of an increasingly obese public, was too much for the ambitious fast-food chain, which surrendered production of the $3.99 dish just two weeks after its debut enraptured millions.

Sandwiches were flying out of the frier at a rate — about 1,000 sandwiches a day per store — that significantly outpaced the speed in which processing centers could decapitate chickens.

"We need more machetes!” “My arms are sore!” exhausted workers could be heard shouting from behind the closed doors of undoubtedly sanitary Popeyes factories.

The restaurant’s white flag was not well-received by avid followers who had defected from the ranks of Chick-fil-A.

At a Popeyes drive-thru in Houston, Texas, an armed group of three men, two women, and a baby — the baby was reportedly unarmed — angrily abandoned their car and attempted to break into the fast-food store once the attendant became the bearer of chicken-free news.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a Popeyes chicken sandwich.

Craig Barr of Tennessee became so incensed at the nonexistent sandwiches housed in his belly that he filed a lawsuit against Popeyes, accusing them of deceptive business practices and false advertising after driving to several locations, only to be turned away each time.

The desperate Barr went as far as sending someone posing as a Popeyes employee $24 after the person listed an ad on Craigslist claiming to be slinging sandwiches under the table. C’mon, Craig...

All the while, troops stationed overseas watched patiently, awaiting the Christmas morning-like euphoria that would come with the sandwich’s arrival at any number of the 34 Popeyes locations on overseas installations.

But it never came. And with the infamous Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Famine starving out our brave servicemen and women back home, no signs indicate it ever will.

Overseas troops and their families are not pleased — hopes are dashed, forced to live a chicken sandwich-less existence devoid of all joy.


Staying with the bizarre - it seems like some landlubbers are concerned that there's too much rust on some Navy ships. I got news for ya, a brand-new steel hull will show rust after a handful of days on the water. Aluminum corrodes even faster. It's completely normal, and usually not that much of an issue. So says the Navy.


The flag officer who oversees maintenance on the Navy's ships and submarines is hitting back against the idea that corrosion on warships is leading to big repair bills.

Retired naval officers and other experts have been sounding off on the state of the Navy's fleet after recent photos have shown rust buildup on multiple surface vessels. But Vice Adm. Thomas Moore, head of Naval Sea Systems Command, said there has been no effect on maintenance.

"I think some of this is a little like, 'Hey, the Packers were a great football team in the '60s," Moore told reporters at the Pentagon last week. "Corrosion has always been one of the major drivers for maintenance for us."

When asked what is causing rust to take over after recent photos showed the amphibious assault ship Boxer and dock landing ship Fort McHenry covered in the brittle buildup during recent stops in Bahrain and Germany, Moore pointed to high operational tempo. The Navy is operating a smaller fleet than it did 20 years, he said, and the ships are deploying a lot.

"Aesthetically, maybe there's a little bit there," Moore said. "But when we get the ships in availability, we're not seeing anything that would tell me that anything is different today than it was, say, 10, 15, 20 years ago."

Critics, including military blogger CDR Salamander, said the rust sends a bad message, even if it's only aesthetic. A Navy with rusty ships looks complacent and unfocused, he wrote, and signals weakness and vulnerability.

"I don't know what we're doing, but we're not doing it right," CDR Salamander wrote Aug. 6. "When your fundamentals are so transparently being ignored, you have a larger problem at hand."


Just to note - here's the Battleship Massachusetts here at Fall River. Granted, she's a museum ship, but look closely and you can see plenty of rust. This is completely normal. I'm sure the Braga Bridge behind her is in even worse shape.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XMzOpXuu_mU/maxresdefault.jpg

 

15 comments (Latest Comment: 09/17/2019 20:51:19 by Raine)
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