The phrase that Texans like to use is "don't mess with Texas". You could point to their record of executions as evidence that they really mean it. Other than being a happy friendly threat, it ignores the reality that Texas is already a mess. Florida may have Florida Man, but Texas has... well... a plethora of idiots and paranoids.

What got Texas in the news recently was a so-called "Free Speech" event, which was actually a contest to draw the Islamic prophet Mohammed. Let's face it - that is just stupid, antagonistic, and lacking in common decency. It was a dare to extremists to do something, and two idiots took the bait. The media (and not just the right-wing FOX "News") immediately began looking for a terrorism connection. ISIS - ever the opportunists - decided to take responsibility. Naturally, FOX "News" was all over that like flies at a shit picnic. The pant-soilers immediately took this as evidence that Sharia Law is imminent in the U.S.

The reality, of course, is that there is no connection whatsoever, other than a couple wannabes who failed miserably, and a self-aggrandizing group of murderers who know a good opportunity for propaganda when they see it. Pamela Gellar and her fellow assholes got what the wanted. I am sure they are blaming President Obama somehow, but I don't have the energy to look for it.

Getting less press coverage in the mainstream media is the absolute hysteria over a planned military training exercise known as "Jade Helm 15". Perhaps it's the B-movie title, but more likely the anti-government fervor and nonsense whipped up by crackpots that is causing normal people to fear the worst:

They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"

It's as if ignorance is taught in the schools down there.

Well - in a way - it is. There is a solid belief among a certain subset of the population that teaching kids about how reproduction works and how to prevent transmitting sexual diseases will immediately turn our teens into rutting whores. The corollary of that belief is that by not giving them any information at all, teens will behave like little angels, remaining chaste until they are paired up (one man and one woman only, of course - none of this "Adam and Steve" nonsense) just as the Bible instructs.

That worked out, well - horrifically - for a town in Texas which has seen an outbreak of (ahem) Biblical proportions:

So abstinence-only failed? Who could imagine that telling kids not to do something that everyone knows is fun and feels good might actually encourage them to do it? Perhaps the same stellar minds who think the military is taking over the country, or think that free speech should come with no consequences or that two yahoos shooting at them are the harbinger of an ISIS wave about to wash over our fine shores.

Don't mess with Texas - because you might end up becoming part of the mess... or at least getting some of it on you.