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The Mess that is Texas
Author: BobR    Date: 05/06/2015 13:42:24

The phrase that Texans like to use is "don't mess with Texas". You could point to their record of executions as evidence that they really mean it. Other than being a happy friendly threat, it ignores the reality that Texas is already a mess. Florida may have Florida Man, but Texas has... well... a plethora of idiots and paranoids.

What got Texas in the news recently was a so-called "Free Speech" event, which was actually a contest to draw the Islamic prophet Mohammed. Let's face it - that is just stupid, antagonistic, and lacking in common decency. It was a dare to extremists to do something, and two idiots took the bait. The media (and not just the right-wing FOX "News") immediately began looking for a terrorism connection. ISIS - ever the opportunists - decided to take responsibility. Naturally, FOX "News" was all over that like flies at a shit picnic. The pant-soilers immediately took this as evidence that Sharia Law is imminent in the U.S.

The reality, of course, is that there is no connection whatsoever, other than a couple wannabes who failed miserably, and a self-aggrandizing group of murderers who know a good opportunity for propaganda when they see it. Pamela Gellar and her fellow assholes got what the wanted. I am sure they are blaming President Obama somehow, but I don't have the energy to look for it.

Getting less press coverage in the mainstream media is the absolute hysteria over a planned military training exercise known as "Jade Helm 15". Perhaps it's the B-movie title, but more likely the anti-government fervor and nonsense whipped up by crackpots that is causing normal people to fear the worst:
Gov. Greg Abbott on Monday defended his decision to have the Texas State Guard monitor a military training exercise that has riled conspiracy theorists, denying he has lent credence to their suspicions.

Instead, Abbott said his office is simply looking to serve as a "communication facilitator" between the military and concerned citizens, some of whom recently packed an information session in Bastrop County about the exercise, known as Jade Helm 15. The next day, Abbott sent a letter to the State Guard asking it to keep an eye on the operation so that "Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed."

"We are playing a pivotal role of government and that is to provide information to people who have questions," Abbott told reporters Monday following a prayer breakfast in North Austin. "It's clear that people in Bastrop had questions."

Conspiracy theorists have speculated that the exercise — which spans several states and is scheduled to start this summer — is a covert effort to institute martial law.

They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"

It's as if ignorance is taught in the schools down there.

Well - in a way - it is. There is a solid belief among a certain subset of the population that teaching kids about how reproduction works and how to prevent transmitting sexual diseases will immediately turn our teens into rutting whores. The corollary of that belief is that by not giving them any information at all, teens will behave like little angels, remaining chaste until they are paired up (one man and one woman only, of course - none of this "Adam and Steve" nonsense) just as the Bible instructs.

That worked out, well - horrifically - for a town in Texas which has seen an outbreak of (ahem) Biblical proportions:
A west Texas school district has confirmed nearly two dozen cases of chlamydia among high school students, at a small-town campus that — surprise! — endorses an abstinence-only sex education program, but does not officially offer sex ed.

At least 20 cases of chlamydia among students at Crane High School were reported to the Crane Independent School District last week, after the Texas Department of State Health Services alerted district officials to the high rate of cases reported in the surrounding counties. According to CBS affiliate KOSA, the district notified Crane High School parents on Monday of the “growing problem,” which so far affects a significant percentage of the school’s nearly 300 students.

So abstinence-only failed? Who could imagine that telling kids not to do something that everyone knows is fun and feels good might actually encourage them to do it? Perhaps the same stellar minds who think the military is taking over the country, or think that free speech should come with no consequences or that two yahoos shooting at them are the harbinger of an ISIS wave about to wash over our fine shores.

Don't mess with Texas - because you might end up becoming part of the mess... or at least getting some of it on you.

54 comments (Latest Comment: 05/06/2015 20:10:33 by Raine)
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Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 13:18:05
good morning!

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 13:19:39
Hola mi chicos y chicas.

Comment by BobR on 05/06/2015 13:43:12
BLOG IS POSTED

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 13:50:13
I was going to post a link to the Morning Edition story about Jade Helm 15, but they seem to be under some sort of DDoS attack. So, maybe later.

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 13:50:29
Texas is proving very quickly to be another canary in the coal mine.

Comment by TriSec on 05/06/2015 13:50:36
Ah, Texas. No other state has done more damage to the Union, IMHO.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 13:54:10
I mentioned here yesterday that IS had claimed those a-holes in Texas, But, then IS would claim they made the Sun rise in the East if it would get them press.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 13:56:44
Quote by TriSec:
Ah, Texas. No other state has done more damage to the Union, IMHO.



But so much good has come from Texas, Ornette Coleman, Janis Joplin, Townes Van Zandt, Stevie Ray Vaugh, the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Steve Earle,Joe Ely and Willie Nelson to name but a few.

Comment by TriSec on 05/06/2015 14:03:33
Quote by Mondobubba:

But so much good has come from Texas, Ornette Coleman, Janis Joplin, Townes Van Zandt, Stevie Ray Vaugh, the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Steve Earle,Joe Ely and Willie Nelson to name but a few.


"No ma'am...we're musicians."

Comment by BobR on 05/06/2015 14:04:12
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by TriSec:
Ah, Texas. No other state has done more damage to the Union, IMHO.

But so much good has come from Texas, Ornette Coleman, Janis Joplin, Townes Van Zandt, Stevie Ray Vaugh, the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Steve Earle,Joe Ely and Willie Nelson to name but a few.

There are always exception (e.g.: Austin), but then a stopped clock is correct twice a day as well

Comment by wickedpam on 05/06/2015 14:08:24
Morning

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 14:10:39
Quote by BobR:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by TriSec:
Ah, Texas. No other state has done more damage to the Union, IMHO.

But so much good has come from Texas, Ornette Coleman, Janis Joplin, Townes Van Zandt, Stevie Ray Vaugh, the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Steve Earle,Joe Ely and Willie Nelson to name but a few.

There are always exception (e.g.: Austin), but then a stopped clock is correct twice a day as well



Bobber, you missed my obvious

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 14:14:53
Quote by Mondobubba:
I mentioned here yesterday that IS had claimed those a-holes in Texas, But, then IS would claim they made the Sun rise in the East if it would get them press.



Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 14:15:47
Texas and it's school books will create serious long term damage to the nation as a whole.

Comment by wickedpam on 05/06/2015 14:16:37
"grab the chickens" Classic

Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 14:17:04


Bus arrived "home" at 12:30 this morning, got home around 1:30, whereupon Sophie decided she should be fed. Ignoring her I staggered to bed.

For some unknown reason let me sleep until 5:30 (an hour after my normal wake up time) before she advised me of the need to feed her by her prying her head under my arm and lifting. Got up and fed . Sophie looked at her food, gave me a dirty look and walked away.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 14:20:50
Quote by Raine:
Quote by Mondobubba:
I mentioned here yesterday that IS had claimed those a-holes in Texas, But, then IS would claim they made the Sun rise in the East if it would get them press.




IS is two things, horrible human rights violators/islamists and attention whores.

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 14:34:13
Quote by trojanrabbit:


Bus arrived "home" at 12:30 this morning, got home around 1:30, whereupon Sophie decided she should be fed. Ignoring her I staggered to bed.

For some unknown reason let me sleep until 5:30 (an hour after my normal wake up time) before she advised me of the need to feed her by her prying her head under my arm and lifting. Got up and fed . Sophie looked at her food, gave me a dirty look and walked away.
Oh


Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 14:52:12
Quote by Raine:
Quote by trojanrabbit:


Bus arrived "home" at 12:30 this morning, got home around 1:30, whereupon Sophie decided she should be fed. Ignoring her I staggered to bed.

For some unknown reason let me sleep until 5:30 (an hour after my normal wake up time) before she advised me of the need to feed her by her prying her head under my arm and lifting. Got up and fed . Sophie looked at her food, gave me a dirty look and walked away.
Oh

It's a given that Cleo will periodically turn her nose up at her canned food since it's special diet food, but I don't mind because she'll eat the diet kibble. Usually Sophie is a "vacuum cleaner". I suspect when Mommy feeds her this afternoon the bowl will be clean.

13 days until "staycation"

Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 14:53:25
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"


I thought the Republicans fucked all the chickens so much there's nothing left but feathers and a red puddle.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 14:57:44
Quote by trojanrabbit:
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"


I thought the Republicans fucked all the chickens so much there's nothing left but feathers and a red puddle.



http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_madhbitqp21r93sz9.gif


Comment by wickedpam on 05/06/2015 15:01:06
Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 15:23:36
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by trojanrabbit:
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"


I thought the Republicans fucked all the chickens so much there's nothing left but feathers and a red puddle.



http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_madhbitqp21r93sz9.gif


Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 15:25:41

I loves that young woman!

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 15:26:20
I am still not sure that Jim Webb is getting in the race.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 15:33:09
Quote by Raine:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by trojanrabbit:
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"


I thought the Republicans fucked all the chickens so much there's nothing left but feathers and a red puddle.



http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_madhbitqp21r93sz9.gif



I know TR can get dark, but wow! That is darker than I go that fast.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 15:35:34
Comment by wickedpam on 05/06/2015 15:36:18
Quote by Raine:
I am still not sure that Jim Webb is getting in the race.



I don't really want him too honestly.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 15:44:00
Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 16:06:08
Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 16:06:31
Quote by wickedpam:
Quote by Raine:
I am still not sure that Jim Webb is getting in the race.



I don't really want him too honestly.
Agreed. We can do better.



Comment by wickedpam on 05/06/2015 16:08:34
Quote by Raine:
Quote by wickedpam:
Quote by Raine:
I am still not sure that Jim Webb is getting in the race.



I don't really want him too honestly.
Agreed. We can do better.




a lot better.

Comment by BobR on 05/06/2015 16:23:55
Quote by Mondobubba:
Amy Schumer birth control...



brilliant!

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 16:33:54
Quote by BobR:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Amy Schumer birth control...



brilliant!
OMG.

perfection.


Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 16:48:07
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by Raine:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by trojanrabbit:
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"


I thought the Republicans fucked all the chickens so much there's nothing left but feathers and a red puddle.



http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_madhbitqp21r93sz9.gif



I know TR can get dark, but wow! That is darker than I go that fast.


That's a standard Fark.com meme. Had to do it.

Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 16:55:00
If you're looking for a guest blogger next week, maybe I could do one on my experiences at Lightfair and where lighting is going.

Comment by trojanrabbit on 05/06/2015 17:13:18

Everything is bigger in Texass. Including the conspiracy nuts.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 17:16:14
Quote by Raine:
Quote by BobR:
Quote by Mondobubba:
Amy Schumer birth control...



brilliant!
OMG.

perfection.



News Busters had all kinds of butt-hurt about it. I would link it, but I don't want those odious fucks to get the traffic or the Google jump.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 17:21:29



My question has been where were these assholes when Jade Helms 1-14 went down?

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 17:32:32
Quote by Mondobubba:



My question has been where were these assholes when Jade Helms 1-14 went down?
They were content because there wasn't a NEEgrow in the office.

Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 17:33:34
Quote by Raine:
Quote by Mondobubba:



My question has been where were these assholes when Jade Helms 1-14 went down?
They were content because there wasn't a NEEgrow in the office.


Oh, of course!

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 17:50:54
This is a problem for Sanders, I think. I don;t really understand why he voted for this.

I disagree with one point, I am not sure Sanders championed the law as the writers proclaims.

I did however check his record on Guns here to make sure the article was factual. Funny the NRA still gave him an *F*

Voted YES on banning high-capacity magazines of over 10 bullets. (Apr 2013)
Voted YES on allowing firearms in checked baggage on Amtrak trains. (Apr 2009)
Voted YES on prohibiting foreign & UN aid that restricts US gun ownership. (Sep 2007)
Voted YES on prohibiting product misuse lawsuits on gun manufacturers. (Oct 2005)
Voted YES on prohibiting suing gunmakers & sellers for gun misuse. (Apr 2003)
Voted NO on decreasing gun waiting period from 3 days to 1. (Jun 1999)
Rated F by the NRA, indicating a pro-gun control voting record. (Dec 2003)

Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 18:13:31
hopefully that will stop him from further enacting his neoconservative bs.


Comment by Raine on 05/06/2015 18:19:45
Comment by TriSec on 05/06/2015 18:26:32
So, the Failtriots had flaccid balls after all.

Comment by Scoopster on 05/06/2015 18:39:24
Comment by Mondobubba on 05/06/2015 18:45:41
Quote by Scoopster:
James Garner has died.



Um Scoop: By BRUCE WEBER JULY20, 2014 (bold added for emphasis)

Comment by BobR on 05/06/2015 18:49:55
Quote by Mondobubba:
Quote by Scoopster:
James Garner has died.



Um Scoop: By BRUCE WEBER JULY20, 2014 (bold added for emphasis)

I thought he was dead already....