The phrase that Texans like to use is "don't mess with Texas". You could point to their record of executions as evidence that they really mean it. Other than being a happy friendly threat, it ignores the reality that Texas is already a mess. Florida may have Florida Man, but Texas has... well... a plethora of idiots and paranoids.
What got Texas in the news recently was a so-called "Free Speech" event, which was actually a contest to draw the Islamic prophet Mohammed. Let's face it - that is just stupid, antagonistic, and lacking in common decency. It was a dare to extremists to do something, and two idiots took the bait. The media (and not just the right-wing FOX "News") immediately began looking for a terrorism connection. ISIS - ever the opportunists - decided to take responsibility
. Naturally, FOX "News" was all over that
like flies at a shit picnic. The pant-soilers immediately took this as evidence that Sharia Law is imminent in the U.S.
The reality, of course, is that there is no connection whatsoever
, other than a couple wannabes who failed miserably, and a self-aggrandizing group of murderers who know a good opportunity for propaganda when they see it. Pamela Gellar and her fellow assholes got what the wanted. I am sure they are blaming President Obama somehow, but I don't have the energy to look for it.
Getting less press coverage in the mainstream media is the absolute hysteria over a planned military training exercise known as "Jade Helm 15". Perhaps it's the B-movie title, but more likely the anti-government fervor and nonsense whipped up by crackpots that is causing normal people to fear the worst:
Gov. Greg Abbott on Monday defended his decision to have the Texas State Guard monitor a military training exercise that has riled conspiracy theorists, denying he has lent credence to their suspicions.
Instead, Abbott said his office is simply looking to serve as a "communication facilitator" between the military and concerned citizens, some of whom recently packed an information session in Bastrop County about the exercise, known as Jade Helm 15. The next day, Abbott sent a letter to the State Guard asking it to keep an eye on the operation so that "Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed."
"We are playing a pivotal role of government and that is to provide information to people who have questions," Abbott told reporters Monday following a prayer breakfast in North Austin. "It's clear that people in Bastrop had questions."
Conspiracy theorists have speculated that the exercise — which spans several states and is scheduled to start this summer — is a covert effort to institute martial law.
They all just KNOW, of course, that Martial Law in the hands of that Mooslim Hussein Obama will lead directly to Sharia Law, and we'll all have to bow down 6 times a day, and "OH MAH GAWD MARTHA!! - GRAB THE CHICKENS AND GET DOWN IN THE SHELTER!!"
It's as if ignorance is taught in the schools down there.
Well - in a way - it is. There is a solid belief among a certain subset of the population that teaching kids about how reproduction works and how to prevent transmitting sexual diseases will immediately turn our teens into rutting whores. The corollary of that belief is that by not giving them any information at all, teens will behave like little angels, remaining chaste until they are paired up (one man and one woman only, of course - none of this "Adam and Steve" nonsense) just as the Bible instructs
That worked out, well - horrifically - for a town in Texas which has seen an outbreak of (ahem) Biblical proportions
A west Texas school district has confirmed nearly two dozen cases of chlamydia among high school students, at a small-town campus that — surprise! — endorses an abstinence-only sex education program, but does not officially offer sex ed.
At least 20 cases of chlamydia among students at Crane High School were reported to the Crane Independent School District last week, after the Texas Department of State Health Services alerted district officials to the high rate of cases reported in the surrounding counties. According to CBS affiliate KOSA, the district notified Crane High School parents on Monday of the “growing problem,” which so far affects a significant percentage of the school’s nearly 300 students.
So abstinence-only failed? Who could imagine that telling kids not to do something that everyone knows is fun and feels good might actually encourage them to do it? Perhaps the same stellar minds who think the military is taking over the country, or think that free speech should come with no consequences or that two yahoos shooting at them are the harbinger of an ISIS wave about to wash over our fine shores.
Don't mess with Texas - because you might end up becoming part of the mess... or at least getting some of it on you.