The GOP has always strived to send this country back to a simpler time. A time where white men ruled the world, single women who didn’t declare they were lesbians were locked up in sanitariums for “hysteria”, and where we knew our enemies by their accent.

But with the recent nomination of Rand Paul in KY the Republicans are in a foot race to see who can set the country back faster. In recent days the GOP leadership has tried to reason with Paul and talk him down from his extreme views - well, not Michael Steele, they keep him hidden away - but other leaders have tried to tame Rand Paul.

First, Paul made the mistake of going on a TV show and getting interviewed by someone much smarter than the FOX and Friends cartoon characters. In the interview he revealed that he was not necessarily a racist per se, but that it would be just dandy if businesses didn’t let black or brown people get served, helped, housed, healed or hired.

And, just when he thought he’d cleared that up, he opened his novice orifice again and reprimanded Obama for not being very nice to BP. “Why do you have to scold BP?” He asked, “What have they done to deserve this?” He went on to add that BP is losing money on this oil spill and that people should consider the poor stockholders.

Rand is a newcomer to the political scene, so, using the FOX News School of Journalism method (hear what some people are saying and see if there is any information on the internet to dispute it) here are some interesting facts about Rand Paul:

He is a big believer in freedom and less to almost no government. Indeed, government is so bad, that he believes it should be banned via a Constitutional amendment.

He thinks that every American who is white and has no foreign accent should own as many guns as you need to protect yourself from criminals and terrorists and cops and libruls. On the day his daughter was born, he carried his Kel-Tec P-11 handgun into the delivery room to celebrate.

He believes that government should stay out of heterosexuals bedrooms and stop telling white women what to do with their bodies, except in the case of reproduction.

He stands an intimidating 6 feet 8 inches in heels. Sometimes even taller depending on the height of his wig.

While in dental school he got a DUI. When cops finally pulled him over after his car drove through several lawns and plowed into a shed, they found him dressed in Victoria’s Secret black lace panties and matching Angel™ push up bra. He was covered in a white powder that was later found to be weed killer.

As senator he promises to get rid of the national debt by sweeping it under New Jersey and to end the Federal Reserve Bank by shipping it overseas.

He has a reality TV show on VH1 that is quite popular.

He believes in the free market to reform health care, not the government. (Bet you never would have guessed that). Basically his plan is: pay for your health care, or not.

He first realized he was gay when he was 7 years old.

He is resentful at this father for naming him after a self-absorbed Russian Jew who had a vagina and spelled her first name “stupid”.

As Republicans try to rein in Rand Paul he continues to defy them by speaking out a tea party rallies and stirring up crowds with chants of “YOU GO GIRL!!”

I doubt they’ll ever tame him.

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UPDATE: Seems I may have mixed up some of my facts with Ru Paul and not Rand Paul. Well, that is the FOX News journalism way.